Make sure you get costumes for the role playing. Like Marv Albert, wearing women's underwear may be one of his turn-ons.

I just recently had a similar situation. We were at a church dinner (kind of a meet and greet) and this beautiful woman (seriously beautiful long blonde hair to her waist) came and sat down at our table and introduced herself. The table held about 6 people but the others were guests and couldn't speak English, so they were talking to each other.

We talked a little between the three of us and she was very interested in the fact that my husband had graduated from the school of ministry there. "God sent me to sit with you guys." She peppered DH with questions and gushed about how excited she was to be back in church (she is a prodigal).

I had to run outside to the car to get something and I excused myself wondering at the same time if I should leave them alone, and then chiding myself for being paranoid (but hey, I come by that honestly - lol!).

My DH did not let me down. Five minutes later, on my way back from the car, I looked up and he was coming towards me out of the building. Apparently, HE got up as soon as I left the table because HE did not feel comfortable sitting there talking to her.

That's how it's handled. It was up to my DH to keep his EPs in place and he did.

<<< This need is to be filled by you, might you be coming up short with this one????>>>

I know that admiration is one of my DH top EN. It's just so hard for me to constantly fill up his ego all the time. I will admit that I am not good at doing it at all because at times I still resent him for what he did. My DH has become really religious and he bends over backwards for me but I am not so good at this rebuilding thing.

CB, your post threw up so many red flags when I read it. My DH's affair started in church and just as you are saying, the OW would seek out my DH and flatter him, ask his advice, and show him the attention I should have been showing him. Nothing like a damsel in distress to get a man feeling manly! LOL!

This woman running away when you are around indicates her intentions. Having a talk with her, letting her know you don't trust her is an awesome idea as well as having your DH run away when she comes by. I wish I had trusted my instincts and confronted the OW when I first thought something was going on. I told my husband I didn't want him singing alone with her because I didn't trust her, and he assured me he wouldn't. Little did I know that they were already in an EA heading for a PA. In R, he won't even consider a friendship with another woman for the rest of his life.

Nothing is better than hearing it from someone who's been there. Please listen!

Hi cobol girl-

I just wanted to respond to this statement by your FWH


One of the few reasons I was willing to try again with my FXH was because he knew that he WAS capable of crossing that line, since he had done it once before. In addition, he was the one who detailed the extraordinary precautions he felt needed to be in place to protect our relationship.

There is no "never", especially once it has happened. If your H wants to be above board with women at church, I like the approach that Billy Graham had (which my FXH has embraced) to never be with a woman, other than his wife, without another person present. If it was another woman, he made sure the third person WAS his wife.

I agree w/ what someone else said.. your H should grab this one by the horns, not hide behind you. He needs to get in the habit of saving himself, because what if someone else tosses herself his way someday when you're not around?

He can say "Sorry, I need to go" and: Just. Walk. Away. To the coffee-pot, to the men's room, or best of all, to your side, where he can flaunt you in front of her.

It's what I should've done, what I wish I'd done, when this very thing started happening to me one lousy Sunday morning last autumn...

Yes. One of my requirements as we heal is that FWH is NEVER alone with a woman. Never. That includes off in a corner in a crowded room. That includes standing face-to-face, talking, while other people are nearby but not in hearing range. Unless it's his mom or me, of course.

Does this apply to women, and the WW as well? Is what's good for the gander also good for the goose?

Absolutely!!!

Better idea if your husband does it. It will get him in the practice. If you have to reinforce it with her later, so be it.