Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 52 1 2 3 4 5 51 52
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
I have a contact at his work who is getting me hrs info.

Ok

Can you go on the website and get the email address of a key VP and both of their bosses?



"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
Oh tell family

And copy and paste the OW's fb contacts into a text doc. Can you find her on facebook?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
Ok I asked my friend at his work.

My gma lined up another job for him


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
I don't know if I can. I don't even know if I can ask him to get out

Yes, you can. You can do all of this. I know it is hard but your children need you to put aside your fears and stand up for your marriage today. What you are doing is in the best interest of their family.

You don't have the luxury of giving into your fears today. Today, you have to put aside your fears and do what is right for your family.

Yes, you can do this. hug


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
Yes ok. Not sure I can see her friends list. Can I post her name here?


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
Yes ok. Not sure I can see her friends list. Can I post her name here?

oh no, don't post her name here. Keep trying to find her friends list.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
Ok I asked my friend at his work.

My gma lined up another job for him

Good! So you can tell him he can leave that job today or hit the road! But, you need to have his bags packed and tell him what I said so he will see you are serious.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
Question: when I send this letter today...if he gets fired...would he qualify for unemployment?


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
I guess it doesn't matter. I want to send the letter 1st.

Vp and hr...not their bosses and hr?


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
Btw her sister and best friend know what she's doing and her parents are dead


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
I guess it doesn't matter. I want to send the letter 1st.

Vp and hr...not their bosses and hr?

VP, HR and their bosses. And cc them all so they all know the other was notified.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
Btw her sister and best friend know what she's doing and her parents are dead

Do you see her family on her facebook list? And how do you know her parents are dead? I would expose the affair to any family members and married people.

Send out that letter to some key people on her facebook.

THEN, get on the phone and start calling family members. You want this all to hit him today like a tsunami.

What is his mother like? Will she pay a visit to that skankho?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
If he is typical, he will go ahead an move out, at least for a while. If he does, do not fear. He is just being normal, for a wayward.

Just in case he is not typical, it would be good for you to have a list - only a STARTING point - as to what it would take, today, for him to stay.

The starting point would be:

1. Quit the job immediately, since he already has one to go to.
2. Agree to No Contact for life, and write out a No Contact letter and give it to you to mail.
3. Change all phone numbers, email addresses, close any door she might use to try and get in touch with him.
4. Agree to do anything and everything else you need from him in order for you to feel safe.

There will be more detail to your boundaries than that, and you will find help here to know everything he needs to do. But if he balks at anything on that first list, you will automatically know he isn't ready yet, and needs to leave.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
Ok. I doubt he will leave. He may and I'll be ok but I doubt it. He's a wuss.

Do u have such a letter? Can you help me make a bigger list?

Ok I'm waiting for emails but the letter is written.

I have therapy at 1230 but I can make calls between. I'm scared and excited


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
His mother is complacent. She dealt this [censored] with his dad (although they never married). She is immature.


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
Ok friends list copied


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
His mother is complacent. She dealt this [censored] with his dad (although they never married). She is immature.

Ask her to support your family and her grandchildren by calling the OW and asking her to leave her son alone. She can tell the OW that she has no future in their family and will never darken her doorstep. Also ask her to call her son and talk some sense into him.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
Ok friends list copied

Can you ID her family members?

Go change your facebook picture to one of you, your H and your kids. Then send them private messages - SPACE THEM 60 SECONDS APART SO YOU DON'T GET SHUT DOWN FOR FLOODING.


Dear friend of Skankyhola,

It is with great regret that I send this letter but I believe all of her friends should be aware that Skanky is having an affair with my husband, Joe. We have been married for 5 years and have 3 heartbroken children. They have been having this affair since October according to the evidence.

I would be happy to provide the evidence to anyone who asks.

I would ask that you use your influence with Skanky to persuade her to leave my husband alone. You should also watch your own husbands around her because she is no friend to marriage.

I would appreciate it if someone would notify her parents and ask them to call me at xxx-www-xxxx.

Thank you, BW


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
I went in his email...he opened monster job accounts yesterday. Positive sign?


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
C
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 413
Niiice ok I'll pm them all. But at home. That's to much to do ob my iPad and I can't use work computer for fb.



Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
Page 3 of 52 1 2 3 4 5 51 52

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (1 invisible), 543 guests, and 75 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,839 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5