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Originally Posted by 51CD30
I read SAA first, on my own. When my H was mostly defogged, he read SAA, also on his own. We didn't discuss it very much at the time, but reading it really helped him with the rest of the defog.

The way Harley explained it is that SAA was written for the adulterer and HNHN was written for the betrayed spouse. So when they discuss which books to send callers, for example, he will tell Joyce to not send HNHN to an active/recently active adulterer. Rather, he wants them to read SAA. And the reason is because HNHN does discuss how a BS can contribute to the conditions that leads to an affair [inadvertantly] and SAA softpeddles that part. He doesn't want a foghorn - who is looking for rationalizations - to grab onto the message that is conveyed in HNHN.

When we went through the MB program, they had us read Lovebusters first just like you did.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MFJ1974
About the GPS, do you need to calibrate it? I think I remember somewhere about not all services being equally accurate untill you turn it on. I'm often a couple of house down too laugh
Confused, has the phone been turned off and then back on a few times? That might 'kick start' it.



D-Day 2-10-2009
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Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Originally Posted by MFJ1974
About the GPS, do you need to calibrate it? I think I remember somewhere about not all services being equally accurate untill you turn it on. I'm often a couple of house down too laugh
Confused, has the phone been turned off and then back on a few times? That might 'kick start' it.

Good idea!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Mine showed my H was in Hong Kong once. I didnt have the same program though. I canceled the program when I saw that. He was with me at the time in town.


Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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Originally Posted by LuvsDavid
Mine showed my H was in Hong Kong once. I didnt have the same program though. I canceled the program when I saw that. He was with me at the time in town.

I have found the eblaster program to be extremely precise so I am hoping that it is just a matter of calibration.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I'll turn it off and on tonight. I asked to see it last night..my friebd was over and has the same phone and wh has been having probs so I said "maybe me & friebd can compare yours to hers, can I see? And I went in the kitchen w her. Wh and friends hubby watched tosh.o

I asked to read his texts and he handed it over. So
I'm good there. He's bike riding now to go get my car from the dealer (w his cousin)... Maybe it'll start working once ge moves around.

My baby brother wants ne to go to a haunted carnival tonight...I asked wh to go and he said he really doesn't feel up to going. He hadn't been eating either and says he feels run down. I said oh, ok I'll stay home. He said "how about my 2 cousins and brother come over and help me w the kids and you go w your brother-you can take my phone and car keys and laptop if you want." good sign?


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
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Ok when he went out it does show his moms address right....so maybe it'll work better now. He's riding to the dealership...I'll watch for it to catch that addrss right.

Do you know if it only posts the address when he stops? I'm just trying to get used to it.

(this is kinda fun)


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
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Sounds like he is trying and really thinking of your feelings. Dont get discuraged if he backslides a bit when withdrawl sets in.

Dont stop snooping becuase that is what builds your trust back. The more you snoop and dont find anything the better it gets.


Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
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Quote
I asked wh to go and he said he really doesn't feel up to going. He hadn't been eating either and says he feels run down.
It sounds like he's starting to go through withdrawal. I think I'd stay home with him.

How about his 2 cousins and brother come and pick up the kids for a few hours? And you fix the two of you a nice dinner. (While you've got your makeup on and you're looking your prettiest. wink )


D-Day 2-10-2009
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Thank you Marriage Builders!

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Triangluation for the gps

It must connect between three cell towers for accuracy

The time between the signals connecting, or "talking to" each tower determines the distance from each tower and the location

If it only has one tower it is connecting to, it sees thatower as the location

In rural areas, this happens sometimes

Moving around and connecting to different towers, calibrates it, and that's what I would do first



Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Confused, I wouldn't squander any of your available time on going out with family members. Find a sitter and go out ALONE with your husband. I would get in the habit of spending the majority of your free time with him, without kids and friends.

A critical factor in recovery is spending 20 hours per week in order to create a romantic relationship with your husband.

You are doing great, btw!! smile


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Thanks, constantprocess! I was hoping it was something like that. It seems to be working now so you must be right. Hopefully it will show the correct address when she gets home.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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True GPS looks at the satellites

Most GPS s in phones work on triangulation

When there is less than 3 towers to connect to, it's best guess

It will still work well for tracking purposes, just not perfectly, all the time.

Depends on the cell towers and where you are, and the time and travel it requires for calibration

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Ok


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
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Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
I have to go to an art show my gma is in at 2...he doesn't want to go bc he says the $30 is a waste...I'm hoping his cousin comes over to keep tabs on him >.>

I would get into the habit of finding things to do together. When you spend your leisure time apart like this you become detached and develop independent, incompatible lifestyles. This is one area where the program can really help.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Thanks, constantprocess! I was hoping it was something like that. It seems to be working now so you must be right. Hopefully it will show the correct address when she gets home.

Yes I hope so too

Mine cuts out when I'm in Gods country, and only one cell tower can make a connection, but because she will be tracking him probably in areas that have a lot of cell towers, it will still prove invaluable to her to see if he is where he says he is

There are a lot of towers out there now


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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20 hours per week w no kids? Oof. Ok we can probably get close.

I always feel bad shifting my kids all over to sitters


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
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Oh and we live in a big suburban city in one of the largest major cities in the us. We are not rural lol!


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
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Originally Posted by confusedandtorn
20 hours per week w no kids? Oof. Ok we can probably get close.

I always feel bad shifting my kids all over to sitters
Sweetie, I think you'll feel better doing that than trading them back and forth for weekend visits with an ex-husband, right?


D-Day 2-10-2009
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Thank you Marriage Builders!

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I have a $20 giftcard to a wine bar...or 150 to a fancy steakhouse. Should I create a nice date night? Or should I save it for later?


Me: BS 25
Him: WS 24
Dd#1 5 years
dd#2 18months

My story here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2551691#Post2551691

DDAY 10/30/10 (affair 2/10-10/10)
FR Reveal 10/5/2010 (affair 4/29/11-10/5/11)

Plan A 10/11/11
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