Yea I always borrow trouble.

We just had a call w his work. They wanted him to give solutions to how he could do his work and also asked how I expect them to monitor him not having contact. It was made clear that I don't expect them to monitor it, but allow accommodations to avoid it, such as not requiring contact between them, him not in the bldg etc.

We wrote them an email together with the stipulations and possible solutions. He is still on vacation until they get back but they did say "if we can meet your requests how soon can you return to your duties." we both said immediately ad long as these precautions are in place.

If he isn't in that building then we are ok. Plus now I have his work email password :-p

He's just left my work to go to the store. He got to the store and sent me a pic of the store "I'm here" lol. That's a little much.

I'm still really worried but I guess your right I can't know.

What do I do next? Just waaait?

Never tell him it's too much . He is thinking about you and your feelings. Tell him thank you and that you love him very much. My husband is this at first it will slow down a bit.

It's good that he is willing to do this, and it's not too much.

I have a standing requirement with my FWH that he is to send me a photo of himself, his surroundings and who he is with whenever I ask him to do so. And I have asked him to do so on occasion.

Its not too much. Its thoughtful!

Didn't it warm you heart just a little?
Made a lovebank deposit?

It was nice. He called me to say he's home.

He needs to go get stuff for his Halloween costume but I think he's waiting for me to say it's ok for him to go.

He has therapy at 1

I bought hnhn parents, saa, 5 steps to romantic love workbook and lb

I'll start him w saa? And me saa?

good plan, maybe limit a time line to discuss it as well, so some of your time together can be free from the past and just spent on enjoying each other again.

Remember if he is out of the fog, SAA will hit him hard. There is a chapter in HNHN's also.

Dr Harley does not pull the punches telling the Waward how much pain and suffering they have caused. This is a good thing and they must understand it but be supportive at the same time. He will start feeling some of your pain.

I almost ( and I mean almost) felt sorry for my Husband when he read those chapters. I could see the pain in his eyes but at the same time I wanted to shout "SEE WHAT YOU DID TO ME"

How do I know if he is in fog or out?

Others will chime in but I dont think he is very foggy. I'm getting more that he was already starting to see your pain from the A and just didnt know how to pull himself back out. He was underwater with his hand out and you took hold and pulled.

Foggy = still trying to condone what he is doing, still trying to find ways around your stipulations, telling you it is all your fault.

Not Foggy = repentant, working to restore your trust, sees your pain for what it is and that he did that to you. Doing what you ask to save the marriage.

Sounds like HR is concerned and they are on your side at his work.(Maybe they are aware of the OWs prowling? Who knows)

The assumptions that affairs won't happen, is exactly why they do. So hold his feet to the fire when he goes back. It will be an enviroment where he could slip back into his old habits and persona, and he will probably be tempted to.

Its a war out there protecting your marriage, and each other are the spoils.

Have you gotten the books yet, "Lovebusters" and "His needs, Her needs"? The package has a workbook also. They will be helpful in your recovery to say the least, and will simplify the healing process, although simple does not allways mean easy. You will fight for what is valuable to you, and protect it with your life.

We are in need of instruction in different times of our lives, and you have reached out and taken it in humility to stop the affair, which would have lead to disaster for your marraige. Now continue on with the teaching Dr H has to affair proof your marrige, and make it the number one place of rest and encougagement in your life.

As God has designed it to be.

Oh ok. Thanks. I'd like to hear other weigh ins to.

Wen he came to me to tell me he had feelings for her he said he wanted to go to therapy to find out why he is doing what hesndoing....he seems to know it's wrong but was just lost or confused I guess?

He does seem to be doing what I ask. He's starting dinner right now at home and called to let me know...

He's never said it was my fault except day 1 I said I thought we where ok and he got snotty and said well it wasn't I didn't feel loved. I said how could I know that if he told me we where ok and he had said "well I shouldn't have to tell you I don't feel loved".

Other than that now he just says he's sorry a lot, what can I do for you, hugs me and says don't worry it'll be ok even if I don't work at xxx etc

You bet I will hold his feet to the fire. I will also continue checking everything as well as his work email. I just hope this is all the right decision. I hope we find out something soon

He just sent me a photo of lowes "I'm getting ac filters" lol

LOL! Send him back a pic of yourself, saying "I'm missing you! Can't wait to see you!"

Now he sent me a pic of him holding a Costco cart

Send one of you holding some random object. Like a hairbrush, or a can of peas, or something.

Ok, I think he might be doing this sarcastically.

If he is, just keep up what MB said. Send him one back saying missing you and love you. It will work both ways.

If he is doing it to help you trust, it will reward that.
If he is doing it to try to prove a wayward point, it will take the wind out if his sails becuase you are not buying it.

Thats great!! He needs to get into the habit of accounting for his time to you. That makes you feel SAFE and that is the goal here. It is not too much FOR YOU. You deserve it!

Go in the bathroom and take a picture of your cleavage and send it back to him!!