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He left bed last night and I said "don't do naughty things" and he said ok. I asked him today if he left bed and he said he did but I asked him not to be naughty so he didn't. Then he said I told him not to touch himself so he didn't but it's hurting him and makes his stomach hurt and he doesn't know what to do. I told him I didn't ask him not to mastrubate I asked him not to watch porn. I said I think the porn is just more sexual stimulation and furthering the problem he has with controlling himself or viewing women ...but if he wants to mastrubate I just ask he not be so obvious. I think mastrubtion is normal and fine and healthy. I also think it's private and that making me aware he's going to mastrubate feels degrading, uncomfortable and like a guilt trip.
I just don't want him lying. I know he went to that site last night
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I'm mad. I want to call him out on this. But will that blow everything? Why lie?!
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Don't call him out, but do talk about it. Keep your cool.
Me BW (37)
WH (37)
DD1 6 yrs DD2 2 yr
A man who abandons his wife and children because of his infidelity is no price. I can do better then that, I deserve better then that.
The difficulties and struggles of today are but the price we must pay for the accomplishments and victories of tomorrow
Men must be honest with themselves before they can be honest with others. A man who is not honest with himself presents a hopeless case
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How without blowing my spyware cover?
It doesn't make sense. How can this sweet man lie to my face all the time :*(
Have I been so cast under his sweetness that I'm a fool? I have such a hard time accepting that the man I thought was the god of men deceives me so.
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Actually, Dr. Harley highly discourages masturbation and any kind of sexual experience outside the marital union. Both porn and masturbation have a contrast effect, plus masturbation often causes a man to be a not-so-great lover, since the time from beginning to ejac is much decreased. It also causes the spouse to lose an opportunity to deposit love units.
But that's for another time. Now you're busy with trying to find out what he's doing. I like the idea of putting on parental controls, secretly, of course.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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How about keeping your cool and bringing it to his attention?
He still isn't controlling his urges and this sexual activity with imaginary porn queens on the web is destructive and misleading his desire for you.
"An object in motion tends to stay in motion", so he continues with this bad habit, his thoughts of sex, whether he masturbates or not in private, should be focused on you. His imagination should be occupied with picturing you.
As far as masturbation is concerned, it does speak of an imbalance of control of his emotions, and that he has given into them. I am not an expert on this, but doesn't it become more sweeter when you wait for the appropiate time and place with your wife?
He will have to get control of this, his body, and his emotions also, and if he doesn't, he will be like every other addict.
Thats my Opinion
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I thought it was clear to him that you were going to spy and hold him accountable?
Doesn't he know yet that being jealous of your time together is part of being in love?
Thats in the books too
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I think it is clear but he doesn't know about the spyware. Maybe o should just text him and say "knock it off with xnxx.com" arg.
I don't know if i care if he mastrubtes sometimes. He acts like he NEEDS sex more than daily, and I cannot keep up with that. I can meet a certain quota, but I have no interest in doing so when I'm being lied to still.
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I just want to cry and give up. He can't do a simple thing like stop looking at nasty nasty online?
Maybe he will never respect me
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I just got a call from an anonymous person saying the ow is claiming to be 4 weeks pregnant
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chin up you are doing great.
Just put a block on all sites that are x rated. and say "honey i put a block on the x rated sites they just kept poping up when i am online and it make me feel unconfortable, ok, why would that happen , do we have a virus?" bat your eyelashes
solves the porn.
now on to the masturbation issue, i had the same isssue, vet chimed in and i asked him to stop. its really not good, he should want you not his hand, sorry - but i get this one i think itt was one of my last issues.
Me 44- yes ugggh
WH 47
together 26 years M 19
serial cheater big time
DD1 2.24.11
NC letter sent 3/7/11
NC letter to OW2 april
final truths 5/8-- all of them poly confirmed 5/18
working the plan
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Dont panic yet, it is not his untill she can prove it with a DNA test.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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On your cell phone? Was it a vmail or did you speak live?
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I just got a call from an anonymous person saying the ow is claiming to be 4 weeks pregnant Call your H. Tell him about the anonymous call. Then, listen quietly and take measure of his reaction. Some desperate OW fake a pregnancy in order to get the BW so fed up that she divorces her H. Wouldn't be the first time.
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I just got a call from an anonymous person saying the ow is claiming to be 4 weeks pregnant The "four weeks" makes me highly suspicious that this is a fake out.
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Some desperate OW fake a pregnancy in order to get the BW so fed up that she divorces her H.
Wouldn't be the first time. Wasn't this immortalized in video? Seventeen-tuplets!
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Ok. Anonymous call said she's a friend of a friebd and thought it was wrong and wanted to say ow is claiming she's pg and not gonna tell until the baby's born or to late for abortion. And that she thinks ow is about 4 weeks in.
Wh says last sex was 10/4 and *gag* they had to do it in the shower bc she was on her period.
I confronted him...less than calmly...he doesn't seem very worried...
I know they didn't use protection. She was on bc supposedly.
What do I do.
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Calm down, at least your husband is telling everything when you ask. He could have made you drag out that info even if it was too much.
She is trying to get him back and make you mad. Dont fall for it.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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So what do I do? Do I message her? Pretend I dont know? Wait?
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