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Joined: Apr 2011
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I wouldn't be surprised if DS15 has post traumtic stress syndrome. Something that may help him get through this is to possibly try music or art therapy if he is into either one?

Have you noticed a change in your son's music, physical traits, or schoolwork lately? If there was a drastic change in any of those three then he needs to be seen ASAP by a professional.


Joined: Jan 2009
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Have to agree with IITL. The son is being desensitized. The dysfunction he has learned from his parents is going to be a great burden. Considering the fact that boys marry their moms and girls marry their dads. He is being exampled the lifestyle of cuckold enabler. He will find a woman just like his mother because that is what the woodsman has taught him. You are raising a son who will experience a lot of pain because of the two of you. If CPS really saw what was happening in your home for the last two years, they would have jerked him out of your custody.

When I read that you have had an STD test, so everything is OK. While your wife is still screwing the OM. What color is the sky on the planet you live on?

And of course you don't want to rock the boat regarding your grandmas house. Thank goodness its only your family that is being destroyed and not the equity in the house. DO YOU ACTUALLY READ YOUR POSTS?

Joined: Dec 2009
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Your patterns will simply continue to repeat until you do something to stop it. Plan B doesn�t depend on her being employed and should have been implemented long ago.

Here�s what you need to do:

Write a Plan B letter with your conditions for her to return. Your step son is old enough now to handle contact with his mom on his own and doesn�t required intervention on your part to make it happen (as it would with a really young kid).

So the only hope I see for you to end this is to go to a dark and very strict Plan B. Your kids are grown now, so I don�t really see a need for a mediator unless she is sending a message that she agrees 100% to all your conditions in your letter.

I have a feeling your WW will capitulate the moment you finally man up and set boundaries of respect for yourself.

Understand that Plan B is not for her and it�s not for her to be forced to make a decision and return. It is entirely for you. It sets the ultimate boundary of self respect for you. It also puts all of the requirements for ENs on OM, which will put a ton of pressure on the affair. The moment your WW becomes a headache for him will be the moment he drops her like a hot potato.

Now, if it was me and I had no biological children with this woman, I�d drop her and never look back. There�s too many women in the world and you�re too old to be dealing with this crap. There�s nothing you have with this woman that you can�t have with another one without the burden of infidelity to get over. No matter what path you choose, you should do Plan B and be totally dark. That will push her over the edge, in my opinion.

Joined: Mar 2011
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Wow. See my sigline? Listen... there is something going on, whether it be alcoholism, prescription drug abuse, or illegal drugs.

Flip genders and your story resembles mine. A lot. Seriously.

Change the locks, get her out. She's a danger to your DS.

Check your state for some involuntary program to get her into. Here in FL, we have the Baker Act and the Marchman Act.

Do not wait until she's employed again. She won't be anytime soon. It's called rock bottom. My WH is currently there. He's not enjoying it, but his addiction is still stronger than common sense.


Me: BW
WH 41 (practicing alcoholic)
Married 20 yrs
DS20, DD15, DD9
Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit
NC since 03/11, broken 04/11
NC again 07/11 broken 12/11
Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave
WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012
D filed 01/25/2012
D final 05/15/2012
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
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Where is she getting her income now?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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