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No but why does he get to stay in bed and sit home with a tummy ache while I have to man up and go to work and take kids and stuff?! He did this. Not me.
He should be bending over backwards trying to make me feel better.
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His work called and says he can resign or report to work.
He is deciding what to do.
I am so worn down. I can't even think to say or do anything. I just don't even care right now about his job. I don't even care right now.
I'm so sad.
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Dear HR,
I have been physically threatened by another employee's family member. A police report has been filed. Until this matter is resolved, I feel this is a hostile work environment...
Sincerely,
WH
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Think of a way to *nicely* ask him to help out with the chores and the kids. I know where you're coming from but he'll just shut down or get defensive and you'll get nowhere. It's one of those cases where you're right but have to swallow your anger to get something done.
As for the job, if his going in to work will allow him to run into the skank, then he doesn't need to go in. It'll be rough financially, but won't you feel better knowing that this chapter is resolved and you won't have to worry about it any longer?
There may be no easy way out, in other words. But peace of mind is certainly worth it, in my opinion.
My wife quit her job because OM was still there. It was a financial nightmare but we made it through and it was worth it. It's just hard to see it when you're in the middle of the crap-storm.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Dear HR,
I have been physically threatened by another employee's family member. A police report has been filed. Until this matter is resolved, I feel this is a hostile work environment...
Sincerely,
WH BINGO! Great suggestion!
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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I like that hr suggestion.
I just don't have any fight left to fight about the job.
There is always the possibility the could run into each other. He says he'll change his hours so they aren't coming and going at different time, I have his work email pw to check it, and a ton of people there are in contact w me and pretty much everyone knows.and he says hell come to my office for lunch.
My mom is installing gps on his car. She says she's hiring a pi, but I don't know that is money well spent.
I know his returning is not going to help. I was dreaming all night about secret email accounts.
I just...I feel so beaten down after yesterday. I want to crawl into a hole
Between finding his job news, the ow dad, the threats, my mom finding out, how upset my brother is. I'm tired.
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And I already know this is wrong. And I already know I'm going to be told I'm giving into divorce, and everything. And that I'm wasting mb time. And I'm not. I really need you guys. I need to be able to turn here.
H wasn't goig to go back and then his dad called saying he's being considered for the Torrance job but that if he leaves his current place he loses all shot
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The police said that I can file a restraining order for the dads threat....but his Wh wouldn't be covered. *sigh*
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but his Wh wouldn't be covered. *sigh* Do you mean 'your' WH wouldn't be covered? confused, I would file it anyway. That would serve notice to her father that you will act on threats. I still say he was just venting, and doesn't expect you to actually respond.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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They said I can file harassment but that it'd be me against the dad....if I file restraining order it could be for both of us.
I'm asking how long i have to file bc I can't leave work today
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A RO sounds like a better option than pursuing harassment. You aren't really trying to punish him; you just want him to leave you alone.
As to the job thing, I don't have anything to add to what I've already said.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I know. Thanks.
They said they can give us a temporary 30day order. Well have to go to a court downtown. Maybe we can go tomorrow or friday
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Is is what he says:
"Im trying.... Your, upset set and hate, me and, think im, a, lazy [censored] idiot...so what do I say when I, get off, the phone...im dieing inside and I know u r too.... I am, trying.... I am.... Look im not very smart so its going, to, take me a while to learn the right things, to, say, and do.... When I, think I should say or do something I freeze up and nothing happens..."
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My brother just sent him paragraphs of texts cursing him out.
My mom says she's going over there to talk to him...she says she's going to talk to him like a mom (she seems calm). He doesn't know she knows. Do I just let her get him unannounced?
Apparently his tire is flat (he just called me). I said how and he said "probably someone you know"
Fml.
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I am not into childish [censored] like that. Wtf
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My brother just sent him paragraphs of texts cursing him out.
My mom says she's going over there to talk to him...she says she's going to talk to him like a mom (she seems calm). He doesn't know she knows. Do I just let her get him unannounced?
Apparently his tire is flat (he just called me). I said how and he said "probably someone you know"
Fml. If you are going to stay married to this man, then I would give him a head's up on the mother-in-law visit. Better yet, you go, too. Tell your brother you appreciate his concern and his sticking up for you, but to please not send emails/texts like that. Tell him to vent to you instead. Eventually, you'll have to stick up for him though I understand that's hard to do right now.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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I did tell my brother that wasn't helping and to knock it off. I'm not defending him (Wh) but that doesn't help.
You know. He's all moopey. Stayed in bed because his tummy hurt. Blaming his flat tire on me...saying "well you wouldn't get threatening messages if you didn't post your number on fb"
WTF
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Blaming his flat tire on me...saying "well you wouldn't get threatening messages if you didn't post your number on fb"  Wayward-speak. Did you remind him that you wouldn't have put your phone number on FB if you hadn't had to expose his affair? 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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You know. He's all moopey. Stayed in bed because his tummy hurt. Blaming his flat tire on me...saying "well you wouldn't get threatening messages if you didn't post your number on fb"
WTF A possible response to that... "Knock it off, WH. These messages are a direct result of your affair and you know it. Blaming me for it is insulting and not making me want to stay married to you."Enough of that crap. I hope you threw that drivel right back at him. And if you want him up in the morning (or whenever) just be sort-of cheerful and tell him "Get up, hiding from your troubles isn't going to make them go away. C'mon, let's get the kids ready and have some breakfast/coffee/whatever." Saying it in a quasi-nice way would get more done than going in raising hell about his being moody over a stomach ache and loss of a skank. But if he persists in having a pity party, then I would have no qualms in telling him to knock it off and get with the program. Try nice first and see how that goes. You know what I mean?
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Ok I'll try.
I just find it unacceptable to blame me. He can hold himself accountable,
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