I told her mom, sister, step sister, BIL and friends. Don't know where FIL is. WW broke contact with him in 2003. MIL wouldn't take my call so I had to message her. She left a voicemail on my son's phone saying to get out of there (thinking its my WW phone) and that I was scary. My son heard the message. MIL was a promiscuous woman as well. Very bad example to WW and her sisters.

WW just came to my house to pick up DS (8) and he didn't want to leave. WW said she was furious because that was her family and why would they help me. She also said that what was my thought process. I said to get some support for her to work on the marriage. She said this is between us not anyone else. She also said to leave her family out of it.

That is great!

Ok, so what is the plan to tell the OMW? Are you doing that today? And what about the boys?

Babble. Disregard this. She wasn't asking questions, expecting to learn anything. She was jumping on you for not keeping her little secret.

Good for your son, for not wanting to go with her! Please tell me you kept him with you. And please tell me you've told him the truth about what is going on with his family.

I'm waiting for the info on the OMW. We had to be secret about it. And I did keep my DS. My other DS and DD will be here in about an hour. WW left here very mad. She looks worn down. She won't show any emotions though (except anger) so I've gotten control over mine as well. When she left I told her I did it for us and I love her. Not in a begging way of course. I said it matter-of-factly.

Good job! Just stay with the mission. Even though her family members don't care about her, you did cause conflict in the affair. Now she won't be able to lie to everyone and blame the affair on you. You put her on the defensive by forcing her to explain herself to others.

Between you and her


and

the OM and his wife and your kids and their kids and so on and so on and so on.

There is a saying that fits so well

"You can choose the actions but you can't choose the consequences".
People can choose to cheat on their spouses but they don't get to choose what the spouse does when they find out about it.

Very true.

What do you and the children plan on doing for Thanksgiving?

We're going to make dinner here and spend the day together.

So I went to my appointment today. Why do therapists condone separations when there is no abuse? I'm sure I don't have to explain how it went.

You don't have to explain. We know....

Sigh. Please tell us you didn't spend too much on that.

Here's what I'd tell him, "You can't fix a marriage while separated. That's like a surgeon trying to fix your heart through telepathy.....in another hospital.....across town."

Good analogy HTLD, I would love to see the reaction to that.

I was actually saying to a friend today how bad some IC's are... the first one I went to after D Day told me I needed to "move on" or I would likely "get sick... maybe cancer". So I had just been stabbed in the back by the person I trusted most, was still lying bleeding on the floor, but my main concern should be about possibly developing cancer

If I ever get a shot at and still want recovery, I will be first on the phone to the Harley's. If I can't afford it, I'd rather go it alone with the Harley books. I just don't think I'd take the chance with some two-bit counsellor that would likely buy into WH's foggy head-up-his-butt comments.

Basically, the therapist validated her infidelity because she was unhappy. Instead of accepting responsibility for her actions, now she feels she was justified in what she did. If it was a homicide, she would have gotten convicted for murder and conspiracy to commit murder.

Anyway, she came to pick up my DS and he was crying so much to stay. He was screaming don't make me leave daddy. I was crushed. I had to let him go and I just told him to be strong because he is a big boy and I would see him tomorrow. I know some of you are saying I should have kept him or not made him go. If I would have made a scene about it, the conflict would have gotten worse and it would have become a tug of war. Of course she texted me later and said I could have done more instead of just standing there. She said that I made her look like the bad guy and so be it then. I asked her if she was blaming me for her being the bad guy and she said nope.

I called my DS and told him that I love him and I was sorry for him having to leave. He then called me before bed and was in a real good mood. She bribed him with something of course. He almost told me, but I didn't want to push. I'll find out later like always.

Luckily the Courts don't tolerate "But I was unhappy" as a line of defence. Imagine that. The serial killer uses the defence "But I was unhappy, and murdering innocents made me feel better".

Please don't pay that therapist any more money.


Grrr, waywards! I really feel for you GJM, and your DS. Adultery really hurts the innocents. I know you are aware she is blameshifting, it is easier for her to make out that you are making it difficult on DS than accept it is her decisions and actions that have caused this. Her waywardness is what is really hurting your DS. Be there for him, be honest and don't let him feel caught in the middle. Sorry, not sure how old he is?

You're still in Plan A right? If so, Plan A your WW and your kids. Showing you are a great father will likely resonate somewhere in WW, under all of that fog.

What are your plans while WW has DS? I hope you are going to do something nice for you.

This is EXACTLY why we do not recommend MC when there is an active affair!!

GJM,

Basically, the therapist validated her infidelity because she was unhappy

They seem very good at throwing drowning people anchors, and then billing them for the service.

God Bless
Gamma