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No I was just seeing where her head was at because the kids have their own rooms here. Ok, I didn't think you meant that but just wanted to make sure. Carry on, Sir. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Tomorrow when you visit, just envision all the rest of us there with you for support. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I sure will.....I think about you guys every day and try to remember what you've said. I thank you all for your support and am glad that I'm not alone in all of this.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Just letting you know we are all cheering for you GJM!
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Also remember, if it does goto a custody battle. You 2 oldest are at the age that the courts will take there wishes into account. They will allow them to decide who they want to live with full time and who gets visitation.
She will not be able to force them either.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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You are doing great just don't back down and let her back in AS IS I like Mel sail.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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Let her know what her options are to stay in the marriage, you think she doesn't care maybe right now she doesn't think she has a choice, give her something to think about...........
Be loving and firm, be the husband that stands behind his wife and family......
Be strong when she can't be.......she knows she has f**ked up.........
Tell her you will fight for your family and not because you want to break up your family but that you have no choice considering her choices........
good luck and know you are not alone, a little strength now is what is needed.......
It takes time.....
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Thanks. I found out why she wants the cell password. I made a fb comment via iPhone and it said I made it via blackberry. She thinks I added a line. She asked again for the password and I said if she were willing to work on the marriage and move home, she could have all the passwords. She said wow!
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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If she does not pay for the phone bill why would it matter if you added a line? She is trying to control you any way she can and her hold is slipping. She can feel it and is panicking.
On the up side, she is still following you on facebook. Make sure you post a few things that you do with the kids. Make her realize what she is missing out on.
Last edited by LuvsDavid; 11/21/11 11:25 AM.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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I agree she is grasping at straws but you know what no matter how she spins it she had an affair and has moved away from her family.........
She will not find a reason to use as an excuse to leave you ..........just keep saying the words I am doing what I need to do to save my marraige and my family. that you love her and when she decides that the marriage is something she wants and NC for life has been established with the OM, then she is welcome back and the two of you can work together to have a great marriage and family.........
hang in there this time line takes strength and calm........
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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OM had a friend call me to try to convince me to stop getting him in trouble. I said I'm not letting him off the hook. He should have thought about that before he did what he did. I lose my W and he expects me to just walk away? I don't think so.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Good job, GJM. No need to be so polite next time he calls, in my opinion EDIT: Just saw it was OM's friend that you spoke to. Nevermind!
Last edited by Northwood8900; 11/21/11 03:22 PM.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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OM had a friend call me to try to convince me to stop getting him in trouble. I said I'm not letting him off the hook. He should have thought about that before he did what he did. I lose my W and he expects me to just walk away? I don't think so.  His "friend" should encourage him to man up and face up the consequences. This could be a real lesson for the OM and help him become a MAN instead of a weasel who gets it on with someone else's wife.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OM had a friend call me to try to convince me to stop getting him in trouble. I said I'm not letting him off the hook. He should have thought about that before he did what he did. I lose my W and he expects me to just walk away? I don't think so. p.s. I betcha your wife will be working the same angle and will try and manipulate you into dropping the charges against the OM. She might even say something like "if you drop the charges, I will give you another chance." Don't fall for that. If she does something like that, tell her that you are not interested in meeting her conditions, but rather are concerned that she meet your conditions.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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OM had a friend call me to try to convince me to stop getting him in trouble. I said I'm not letting him off the hook. He should have thought about that before he did what he did. I lose my W and he expects me to just walk away? I don't think so. p.s. I betcha your wife will be working the same angle and will try and manipulate you into dropping the charges against the OM. She might even say something like "if you drop the charges, I will give you another chance." Don't fall for that. If she does something like that, tell her that you are not interested in meeting her conditions, but rather are concerned that she meet your conditions.  Right, receiving "another chance" in exchange for AN ACT OF CARE FOR THE POSOM is just about the most degrading thing I can think of. Yuck. Besides, it is the WW who should be wondering what she can to do receive another chance.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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OM had a friend call me to try to convince me to stop getting him in trouble. I said I'm not letting him off the hook. He should have thought about that before he did what he did. I lose my W and he expects me to just walk away? I don't think so. Did you ask OM's friend if he was married? He needs to keep an eye on his 'friend' because his 'friend' isn't afraid to boink another man's wife.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I don't know, mb. Was that a properly written sentence? You might need a gerund in there. We'll wait for NG to check it for us.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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