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Dinner is nice. But she is trying to set you up to get you to give her the cell phone password so she can alert her OM to your calls. Just a question, but what about if he uses an old WS trick and purchase a cheap PAYG cell phone for communication with the OMW and anyone else about the A? If he is then manipulated into giving his cellphone password to the WW, he still has that alternate (and hidden) means to keep the lines of communication open.
ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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Good man!
Have a great night, and don't get sucked in to the, er, nook arena.
Classic strategy from WWs, so just be on guard. This WW strategy is as predictable as the grieving stages of death. Trust us, and be on guard. She wants passwords and control.
You will do GREAT!!
(P.S. Yum! Chicken Tacos plus laundry?! Heaven. LOL! Enjoy!)
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Not getting you MiM. Am I being dense?
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Wait, I think I've got it.
But, why??? Why give passwords to a WW?
He KNOWS she is in an A. No further proof needed.
?
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Dinner is nice. But she is trying to set you up to get you to give her the cell phone password so she can alert her OM to your calls. Just a question, but what about if he uses an old WS trick and purchase a cheap PAYG cell phone for communication with the OMW and anyone else about the A? If he is then manipulated into giving his cellphone password to the WW, he still has that alternate (and hidden) means to keep the lines of communication open. But if he gives her the passwords, he will be rewarding her for being manipulative. He needs to stop doing that. He has absolutely no reason to give his wife those passwords and if he can't withstand the pressure, then he should just give up and let her roll over him.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I agree with MelodyLane.
Play no games if you don't need to. Be kind. Be matter of fact. Be firm.
I don't see the need for a second phone here.
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Dinner was good. Now she's talking to the kids. I haven't brought up anything other than asking how work is. I'm not giving any passwords. Don't worry about that.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Forgive my little updates. I just want to stay on track. I just cleaned the kitchen. Now I don't know what to do. Make cookies?
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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WW left and didn't ask for anything. She thanked me for dinner and spent time with the kids. No relationship talk.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Why do you think she wanted this family dinner? I have my suspicions, but I'd like to hear yours.
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To see the kids. To see if I am keeping the house clean. To see if everyone is happy. It was obvious that she feels left out and probably wishes she was here.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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To see the kids. No!
To see if I am keeping the house clean. Nope!
To see if everyone is happy. Uh-uh!
...she feels left out and probably wishes she was here. BINGO!
If she were concerned about ANY of the first three, the best way to satisfy those worries would be to be home! You are crediting WW with MUCH too much humanity, and charity.
Until she de-fogs, this is ALL about her - her desires, her wants, her purported "needs"!
Plan A works because most waywards still have some ENs that can best be satisfied by family/spouse/home. Your job is to maximise the attractiveness of ALL those elements of your/her life.
House should be sparkly-neat when she comes by. Kids should be clean/dressed/content. You should be gym-fit (Okay, you're a Marine, but don't slide!), busy/content, and confident.
Her thoughts on returning to her 1-bedroom hermitage should be "WTF am I doing HERE, when GJM is living a dream life?"
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Also check the house for planted VARS. Just a thought.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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Brother, I hope you understand that we see your WW for what she is, which is a WW. We don't know your wife. We do know your WW. They're all the same. They only vary in degrees of insanity, but the insanity is there. The words are all the same. The thinking is all the same.
So be very suspicious. Nothing she does is selfless.
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Then I succeeded because the house was spotless, boys had fresh haircuts, dinner was good. I was content and singing as I cleaned up. She never left my sight so the VAR and key logger didn't happen.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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 Then very good plan A. Let her know what she is missing and what she will be missing out on then tell her what it will take to get back in that fun. She must agree to your boundries first.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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Thanksgiving will be a long day and will definitely be a test to see how strong I will be. I don't anticipate much talking so I'll need to keep busy some how. I know one thing, I will not be talking passwords, divorce or relationship talk.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Thanksgiving will be a long day and will definitely be a test to see how strong I will be. I don't anticipate much talking so I'll need to keep busy some how. I know one thing, I will not be talking passwords, divorce or relationship talk. What are your plans for Thanksgiving?
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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