Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 37 of 107 1 2 35 36 37 38 39 106 107
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
GJM--repeat this to yourself.

Your marriage can survive her anger.

Things will get CRAZY for her because she is living as if you are the enemy and she must get away from you or hurt you, or what-have-you.

You ARE doing the right thing.

If the kids have passports, pull those too.

Also, I agree with mb, good for OMW!


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Originally Posted by GJM
The OMW went to her work as well.

With a car chase to boot, this OMW sounds like a cool cat indeed!

You're doing great, GJM. You might want to print out that sample script that was posted...keep it handy for when you have to talk to WW on the phone as she'll be in batshart la-la-land for sure. You'll need to have good responses in hand so that you don't end up defending your actions or get drawn into an argument.

And the kids know about OM, right? Make sure they know that he's a bad man and that they should tell you if they ever see him.



Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Originally Posted by karmasrose
Your marriage can survive her anger.

So true.

You may not believe it, GJM, but everything you're reporting about your WW has been said by other waywards as well. She's just following the script, that's all.


Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Ok....I believe you. It just feels like I'm alone outside of this forum. I'm scared that she's going to pull some maneuver to try to get the kids away from me.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
Which is why you need to document absolutely everything and keep a VAR on your person if it's legal in your state.

Lots of WWs who go batshirt insane like to claim the BH is or was abusing them.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Luckily I wasn't alone today. I had someone on the phone with me and two people over me came from work to make sure everything was civil.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,686
That's good. The VAR or making sure you're never alone with her will work wonders in stopping any wild stories she might want to say.


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
GJM,

Good for you, I know you are scared and you think this is ruined at this point, it is normal after exposure, she is mad her world is out in the open now for all to see and hear about, that is exactly what you want, it usually doesn't take long for the waywards to come around, sit back quietly. Have your requirements ready and you answers ready for when she does call....
She isn't going anywhere, she just needs time to settle down and really think what her next move is going to be....reality is hitting hard right now, she knows it's not just you now that is watching her and the OM.
If she didn't want to play with fire she should have thought about that...make sure your kids are alright, if they are with her stay in touch, offer to take them to give her time.........
You should feel in control now you have put a huge wedge between the affair and there is going to be some consequences for both of them....
Just keep telling her you love her and did what you needed to do to save your marriage and your family, over and over agin if need be......don't apologize for the exposure.....
Don't panic this might take some time, stay on the site and vent and get your support here, we are all here for you.......you are not alone.......
Try to get some sleep tonight and remember to eat.........you are no good if you aren't well rested and have the energy it's going to take the next few days.....
good for you and the OMW.......you are taking over the control.........


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
I ate dinner. I don't even want to try and contact her....she thinks I stalk her as it is.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
I would say don't contact her tonight...

This OMW is awesome.

My sisters and I chased my younger sister's WH's OW down in the car and confronted her too. Jerry Springer like.

Oh, and my BIL defriended all of us on FB after that episode as well... dramaqueen (BTW, yes, my sister busted up that affair!)

This is all very good. Even this ends in Plan D, you don't want this creep around your children, GJM.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
True, but I'm sure some other creep will come around. Apparently she needs some type of man in her life that isn't me. She says she don't have time for a man and she just wants to be left alone. Apparently she is trying to find something on me to use against me. The story they made up was that he was bringing her text messages from me to his wife. And?

The whole apt complex heard her make a fool out of herself too. I stood about 15 feet away from the door. I still have to write a statement....oops


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
DS11 just told me that WW tried to take his phone and ipod away from him. He doesn't know why, but I'm sure WW wants to see what we're texting. He said she's crying on the couch on her phone.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,653
Originally Posted by GJM
He said she's crying on the couch on her phone.

That she's turning into an emotional basketcase will be good for you. Just remain cool and detached especially in public...you never know when someone might see a reaction from you that can be used against you should legal complications arise.

Be careful what you text. Assume that whatever you write may one day be read by a judge.


Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
I covered my bases. She had nerve to say we might have had something if I would have left her alone.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Originally Posted by GJM
I covered my bases. She had nerve to say we might have had something if I would have left her alone.


Wayward script.
She is right on target.

(amazing how the same people tend to be)

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Well I guess it's good to know that she's following the script. Let's see if she goes all the way to the point where she wants to earn my forgiveness.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Quote
My sisters and I chased my younger sister's WH's OW down in the car and confronted her too. Jerry Springer like.
I just LOVE this! [Linked Image from pic4ever.com]


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Originally Posted by GJM
I ate dinner. I don't even want to try and contact her....she thinks I stalk her as it is.
Don't call her. She's busy imploding. [Linked Image from pic4ever.com] When she's done depleting all of her high anxiety and calms down a little she'll call you. That's when you come in as her lighthouse and start to guide her home.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,921
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,921
WW implosion. This is good.

Do you know if there are alienation of affection laws in your state?

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
In CA there Is no law for that anymore. The courts now only want equality and the best interest of the children.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Page 37 of 107 1 2 35 36 37 38 39 106 107

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (1 invisible), 372 guests, and 79 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5