Thanks for taking the time to share your ideas.

para-sailing, kayaking, boating, fishing

I think I'll go with mini golf.

I liked that idea as soon as you mentioned it. It's something you may have good memories with, and can be A LOT of fun. Especially when your 6 YO gets 2 hole in ones(oh wait, that's what happened to MEEEEEE).

Don't worry too much about OMW. She is an aside.

Remember, when you are on the high of Plan A, then you do all that you can, so when you are at a low, and can only manage a small thing, it will balance out. Keep it up.

So I figured out the password to WWs other email. There are two other guys she's talking to right now. I think I'm going to skip Plan B. This isn't healthy for me or my kids. I need to take the remnants of myself and move on. I can't handle this any longer. I know I've said this before, but I don't deserve this abuse nor do I want to be subjected to it any longer. I'm going through with the divorce. It's funny because an hour after I found the password, she changed it again.

I'm tired of this. I'll find someone who will appreciate me.

i agree. go with mini-golf. Just don't bring my kids...

My best mini golf memory involved my wife taking a full golf swing at the ball... Hitting me in the mouth with the club and splitting my lip... Good stuff! Fun and pain all in one night... Don't stand to close when the swings come!

CV

Very sorry to hear she is in this pattern. I have been there, she is getting a high from the attention. Facebook was my crackpipe. It is a disgusting and difficult habit to break. My husband chose to have an affair to deal with his desperation of losing his marriage. Thank God you are HERE. Hang in there, the vets will be along shortly!

I don't want to waste the vets time any more than I already have. It's obvious my WW is too far gone to bring back around. She must think me and the kids aren't worth her time because she's so focused on her own selfish fantasy world. She told me today that she applied for a job at Hooters. I guess all the other jobs were taken (SMH). The MB approach hasn't worked for my situation in any way I can think of. At least I know I tried everything. That has to count for something.

The good news is, I had a friend ask for my help today. I sent her the link to this web site (SAA, Exposure 101, BC, POJA, LB, HNHN) and within a few hours she had exposed her H affair. Hopefully she will be along soon to post her story for the vets to help her.

Given the right conditions, even concrete will break if subjected to ongoing cycles of freezing and thawing.

Do yourself a favor, GJM, and write down or otherwise record exactly how you felt with this new discovery - the pain, the disgust, the disappointment.

Because the next time WW throws you a bone - a "really good" hug, or a request for a "sleepover" - it would be useful to understand that THAT is just a performance she's staging to diddle you along. The REAL Mrs. GJM is the skank who screwed a married man, and, with his possible absence, is eagerly lining up her next stud.

And to the expected, "But that's not the woman I married...." protest, the response would be, "Interesting, but irrelevent - that is the woman she is today, which is all that matters."

I'm sorry she pulled you into this infidelity dung-pit, GJM. Since she seems to enjoy it, you'll have to climb out alone.

AARRGGHH! This broad has NO idea how many people have been trying to save her!!

G, if you feel it's time to go to Plan D, I suspect no one here will argue with you.

Thank God your children have one sane parent.

GJM - I am in the same situation as you except opposite genders.

My WH was dumped, but still refuses to come home and work the marriage. He is caught up in partying, clubing, and acting 19.

I spoke at length with Dr. Harley about this and his take is my WH's extreme selfish nature will doom him in all relationships.

It was hard for me to hear Dr. Harley describe him, and it has taken me some time to accept the man he is today.

I am working on me today and being the greatest parent to my children. It is hard to have this alien as a WH, and so today I accept.

MB will work for your personal recovery. I read HNHN and lovebusters so I can improve myself and improve all relationships I have. One day I hope to apply it to love.

GJM stick with us. There are many military families on here, and Dr. Harley is working diligently to get Adultery addressed in the military.

Dang. Sorry about this. Please tell me you copied everything out of there?

Remember, MB is about healing you, even if your M fails.

You're right, she has no idea. I think she doesn't see herself as needing help.

I'll try to stick around, but every time I read these boards, I get depressed. I need to heal and recover and I have no idea how.

I did copy the emails, but I don't know what to do with them.

I wouldn't argue, either.

GJM- are you still doing the thing this weekend? In light of the new information, you might cancel and tell her to see what her other two boyfriends are doing if she gets bored. That, of course, is more akin to Plan D/FU than anything else, but kind of serves to let her know that her little gig is up and that you're on to her game.

Sorry to hear the development.

Hang on to them for now. Toss them in the trash when you don't care anymore.

Plan A can be for you.
You do it though you have this new info.

It is a way to ride the ride for YOU.

You can even file for D while in Plan A. "I need a totally monogamous relationship in marriage and you don't seem to." Nice and clear and not lovebusting.

You can Plan A her. Plan B her (if your Taker can't bear to be around her or see her). Plan D her (either with Plan B in conjunction or not).

The plans are for YOU. To not be in the drama and not to feed her misadventures in infedelity.

You still have to meet with the board, right?

Hang onto them to give account for why you contacted OMW. That you suspected something was still up despite her claim to want to reconcile and that you were correct in that, but wrong in with whom.

I know it's hard reading on these boards. Read over in recovery a bit. There are folks making progress there. It can be encouraging. Also read in some other areas as well. You've hard a hard road here and you are doing a great job with what you have to work with.

CV

Yes. You are doing a great job.
It is not something pleasant. It is hurtful, offensive, gut wrenching stuff.
It just is. Few betrayed people have a quick or easy outcome. Few are not surprised by the level of how troubled their spouses really are.

Definitely not an experience to recommend to people nor a club anyone asked to be in.