Yes, but with REPENTENCE. With true repentence, God does forgive. Repentence does not involve lying to your victims, though. That is not true repentence, that is an attempt to sweep your deed under the rug.

Yea he does, more than you or I could ever understand. It's not just that tho. in my belief it is that we have to disclose to the other person we have offended, our offenses, no matter they they are, then simply yes in the terms of how I believe.

YES

John 8:1-11 NIV

but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Emphasis on "leave your life of sin."

I posted from my phone and couldn't get to the PC quick enough to edit/add. You beat me too it. Thank you Melody.

The Apostle Paul had a lot of friends in Corinth that he had to write a letter of chastisement to. I hurt him and them, but just for a while:

2 Corinthians 7:8-10

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

8 Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it�I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while� 9 yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

Although the anonymity of the internet makes it easier to do, most people do not enjoy having to correct anyone. But, if hearing the correction causes you to have godly sorrow, then you are not hurt but helped by it.

The key is godly sorrow. Sorry to God for what you did because it was wrong before him. Not because you got caught, not because you have lost anything, not even because you hurt another. That type of worldly sorrow leaves us in the same state with God as we started, which is dead in sin. Godly sorrow is because you know you sinned before God. That sorrow leads to a changed relationship with God, brings life in forgiveness.

By you coming here, I suspect you were feeling this and maybe didn't know it. Remember this, just as you corrected your children because you loved them, God will correct you if you listen. To not correct us would mean he didn't love us.

His forgiveness is there for all, if they have godly sorrow that leads to repentance.

A lot of what happens now depends on how you accept this.

Yes goldilocks, He does. He even forgives people like **ME**. But here's the thing... Forgiveness requires a certain response on your part... To live openly and honestly before God and your husband. Grace is undeserved and free to us, but it's not cheap. It cost Christ his life.

I was just thinking about 2 verses this morning that apply to your situation...

1 john 1:9, the apostle tells us that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness,



and in James 5 James tells us that we are to confess our sins to one another and pray for one another so that we can be healed...

In marriage builders terms, what this means is exposure... Confessing your fault fully to your husband. All the gory difficult details... Being completely open and honest.

If you have come clean already, you know right now that he is crushed, right? It will take your husband a while to forgive you once you've confessed to him. That's good and natural. He shouldn't forgive you right away. You will have to demonstrate that you are truly repentant and lay down a solid track record of humility and honesty before him.

Likely, you will also have to work to provide just compensation to him for what you've done.

But before that, you need to examine the conditions that led to your affair, eliminate them, put in place extraordinary precautions, and make sure that you have exposed this to friends and family so they can help you recover by holding you accountable.

CV

Goldilocks, did you email Dr. Harley and Joyce, yet?

I'm glad you got this question answered, Goldi, since you don't appear to know about the basic tenets of the Bible.

So now that you've confirmed that God does, indeed, forgive sin, can you tell us what happened when you disclosed your affair to your husband?

Yes, in regards to sharing the gospel. Scripture also says that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly.

I know I will hang here a little longer and see what happens.

Just to piggy back off of MMMherbs post here:


2Co 7:7-8 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more. (8) For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it--though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. (9) As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.



As Paul begins his discourse, it is clear that his attitude was that of bringing the offending party or parties to a state of repentance, and though he was grieved over the need to speak to them in harsh words, he is glad for the benefits it produced. The letter, though not written in the tone and spirit Paul may have desired, nonetheless produced profitable results for its readers. In essence, Paul is saying that even though he is saddened that he had to write in the manner he did, he rejoices over the fruit that it has borne and this in itself is cause for rejoicing.

It is clear that Paul has discipline in mind as he speaks to the Corinthians. Though he was saddened by the fact he had to admonish and rebuke, he saw the necessity of it as well as the subsequent fruit. Paul�s admonition brought what he describes as, a godly grief and as such says they suffered no loss. That is, no damage was done to their souls as a result of the rebukes. What Paul is rejoicing in then is what the puritans refer to as a �true evangelical repentance�, that is a lasting repentance which is for the right reasons, the nature of which he goes on to describe in subsequent verses.

2Co 7:10-11 for godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. (11) For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter.


Paul now, after having established what true repentance is, grief borne from God, he now proceeds to describe what the nature of true repentance looks like. The apostle tells us that godly grief produces in the broader sense, repentance, or turning from sin, that leads to salvation. This contrast of true and false repentance is first put in the context of salvation versus death, speaking of our eternal state. It is in this context that true Christian repentance is explained. True Christian repentance is repentance without regret as the ESV states. Perhaps a better rendering of verse 10 might be this:

�For sorrow according to God accomplishes a reformation (or repentance) that saves and is irrevocable (without regret), but the grief of the world fashions (or brings) death.�

The true work of God, Paul says is one that does not bring regret, because it is not a false repentance. The apostle describes a repentance that is irrevocable because it is a God-given repentance and thus, we do not have to despair over it. The contrast with a worldly grief, that is a temporary turning from the sin, is in Paul�s understanding a matter of life and death. So true repentance then produces a desire, which may be evidenced visibly in the repentant believer. So as Paul begins his discourse in verse 11, we see the product, or fruit, of what God-given repentance brings.

Paul in verse eleven gives us seven marks of true repentance. Let�s consider each one in order:

1. Earnestness: Firstly and most generally, there is an earnest desire that becomes a Christian who is truly repentant. This (spoude) signifies haste, or a speed that accompanies repentance. I believe that what Paul is trying to get across to his readers is that when the offending party encounters God-given repentance there is a haste or speedy desire to make things right. It is recognition that the offending party desire to make things right before God and his fellow man. Calvin notes in his commentary that this earnest desire �we may understand from what is opposed to it; for so long as there is no apprehension of sin, we lie drowsy and inactive. Hence drowsiness or carelessness, or unconcern, stands opposed to that earnest desire� � This earnestness then is tied to the desire to speedily remedy the wrong done by the sinner.

2. Eagerness: Secondly, there is an eagerness to clear yourself. Literally, to give an apology or defense. Calvin notes that rather than give a defense or excuse for the sin, the word (apologion) is used in the sense of asking pardon. The plea, or apology, then is not to excuse the sin, but rather to seek mercy and forgiveness from the one who has been offended . The idea is akin to coming and throwing yourself at the mercy of the court rather than giving a defense of your case to prove your innocence in the particular matter. This signifies a differentiation in attitudes. The person who has not truly been apprehended by God with true repentance seeks to justify or give reason for the sin committed, but the person truly gripped by a godly sorrow has a humble and contrite attitude. They do not seek to give an explanation for why they sinned so much as they seek mercy for their sin, recognizing that they are without excuse.


3. Indignation: This is indignation towards their sin and even against themselves. This is a righteous, godly indignation, which accompanied with the other evidences, does not lead to a morbid introspection, but rather an outcry against the sin committed. The sinner then seems angry at the sin and even at themselves for having engaged in it, knowing that there is only himself to blame for having engaged in that sin. This is more intense than sorrow Calvin says, because it has become the first step towards hating evil . Thomas Watson comments in his treatise on true repentance that our indignation and sorrow for our sin should be of the same measure as the sin committed . He notes that the failure to weep over our sin is directly connected to our view of the riches of Christ�s mercy and grace poured out upon us !

4. Fear: What alarm or terror Paul says was produced as a result of repentance. This alarm, this phobos), derives from a sense of divine judgment. This stems from the knowledge that at the last day, every man must give account for his own actions. Proverbs tells us that fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.


5. Vehement desire: Paul accompanies fear with vehement desire, or longing. Whereas fear may stem from a natural inclination, according to Calvin, this longing is a more conscious desire rooted in the desire to not commit the sin anymore and thus risk God�s condemnation .

6. Zeal: Paul builds to a climax his exposition of the fruits of repentance. Building off the previous two fruits, fear and longing, Paul adds zeal which is a more intense form in this context of longing. This zeal stems from a desire to make things right as the offender desires to give evidence of his repentance.


7.Revenge: Paul finishes out his discourse on true repentance with revenge. ἐκδίκησις (ekdikesis) means vindication or retribution. True repentance then, also bears the mark of one who wants to vindicate themselves through the demonstration of their repentance. It may be that Paul here has in mind I Corinthians 11:31, where he tells them that if they would judge themselves, they would not be judged by the Lord. Paul here is telling us that if we would judge ourselves, then there would be no need to be chastened by the Lord. Private offenses, says Calvin, need not be handled publicly, but as in the case of the man who was openly sinning by sleeping with his father�s wife, there needed to be a public chastening and also a public repentance on the part of the Corinthians for their tolerance of such a sin .


In some instances, as evidenced in Paul�s description of our 7th point (Revenge), restitution may be in mind. For instance, if a man has taken the goods of another, he may seek to offer repayment for it. This must be a heartfelt restitution. In Luke 19:8, Zacchaeus offers to restore what he stole four-fold. This is a principle which was derived from Numbers 5:7. Important also to note is the fact that this idea was not limited to physical goods (land, money, goods), but extended to false accusations as well. Some sins though, may be so grievous that restitution may never be able to be provided. This must be kept in mind as we cannot separate the doctrine of repentance from Christ our great high priest. It is not possible for us to recompense God for sin against His Holy nature. So how is such a thing accomplished? It is only accomplished in the person and work of our savior, Jesus Christ. Christ has made restitution on our behalf before the Father. He has paid what no man can and has satisfied the righteous requirements of God�s law. Likewise, there may be instances where sin against our brother or sister is so great that restitution may not be possible. It is here also that the grace of God must cover our infirmities. Truthfully, the burden of this rests upon the offended party rather than the offender since it is the offended party who has to provide grace and mercy. Thomas Watson notes that the true child of God seeks the most to be revenged of the sins which have offended God the most . It may be that one of the best ways to avenge the sin is recompensing the one offended.


This may seem like a hard view of repentance, especially in light of the modern evangelical view of sin where grace is cheapened by a �soft repenting�. That is, a repenting that does little introspection does not search the heart and has a view that �God will just forgive whatever I do if I just ask�. Yet, we see David�s words in Psalm 51 regarding how we should view our own sin, where in verse 3, David says �my sin is ever before me�. David�s intent here is not that the threat of God�s judgment is ever before his eyes; rather it is the idea that our hearts should break because our own sin has grieved our comforter. David is saying �my sin is my own fault, and my own sin is before my face� In the Old Testament evidence of true repentance was shown outwardly through various means (shaving one�s head, weeping, sitting in ashes, and clothing one�s self in sackcloth), but in the New Testament Paul shows us a better way. Paul tells us in this passage 1) Our repentance must me God-inspired in order to be genuine repentance 2) Genuine repentance has genuine fruits 3) real repentance is not short-lived (as evidenced in the nature of the fruits it bears), hence the irrevocable nature of the salvation which leads to repentance.


It is important to note that these outward manifestations are evidences of an inward work of the Holy Spirit, for without the Holy Spirit, no true repentance could take place. Paul saw the evidence of true repentance. Paul�s concluding remarks is that they �proved themselves innocent at every point�. This means that he was able to see the evidences of a true repentance in them as they were spurred on by their zeal to prove it. We see that such repentance is also profitable in that comfort is provided to the truly repentant. This is seen in Paul�s general manner towards the Corinthians as he seeks to encourage them as well as the tone of Paul�s words that Christ provides comfort to those who mourn, and even though their sin has caused them sorrow, their repentance if followed by encouragement from the comforter who brings peace in the midst of our turning.

There also appears to be a difference in humility versus humiliation in this passage. Paul sees their repentance and says in essence �it is enough�. He is not requiring them to go beyond the bounds of what Scripture requires. Paul�s primary concern is that their earnestness, their genuineness is seen by God. This is displayed in verse 12 where he says that he desires that they see their care for them is evident in the sight of God. One of the great treasures of the Gospel is that God grants pardon to us in Christ if we truly seek him in repentance. As the great work of the Holy Spirit grips us and takes hold, peace begins to reign in our life knowing, trusting, and resting in the knowledge that not only has Christ defeated death, but He has also defeated sin. It is a living in the midst of the already/not yet. Knowing that God has already justified us, he has already given His Son, our redemption has already been accomplished, His Words of Promise have already been written for our instruction, and yet, we still see through a glass darkly. We have not yet seen the fulfillment of the sanctifying work of the Spirit, Christ�s Kingdom has not yet been finally established; death while defeated has not yet been eradicated. It is the knowledge that we are living in the midst of redemptive history and God�s plans are being worked out in and through us, yes even in the midst of our sin, and His glory is displayed in our repentance.

I need to get ready for work now, but I just wanted to say now that I'm actually thinking a little more rationally, I can't even believe some of the things I have said here. To say I'm completely ashamed of myself would put it lightly. I think that is why I have been so ridiculously defensive is because what I did went against what I believe 100%. I really had to do a LOT of justifying of my actions the last few months just to live with myself. Not to mention the steps I took to meet him. I want to throw up. That's what I meant by saying there was nothing I could do to make things better, I can't take away what I did. The last few months were bad enough. I can't believe myself. I apologize to everyone here. Give me some time to clear my head, please!

How is your husband doing?

Please do not go back and edit out even dumb comments. You have no idea how seeing your journey will help others who read here in the future.

Is your BH willing to post here?

In most ways, your affair is just like every other affair; most here already have a very thorough understanding of what you've been through, what you're going through, and what you will go through.

Likewise, in most ways, your husband's reaction will be like every other BS who's had to live with such a betrayal.

We're looking for some feedback on your husband's reaction that will indicate that you've truly confessed.

My concern is toward your victims, especially your husband. What you've done will change his life completely, and he will need strong support. I urge you to confess if you haven't, then steer your husband here for the support and education he'll need to cope.

Please, let us know how your husband is doing.

I strongly encourage practicing admitting fault readily and frequently. It is painful but will become less painful with time.

I had to do this here in order to become a better spouse.

Also, practice answering each and every question asked of you. Some of them will be extremely painful and trigger that defensive justification. Practice answering anyway, without defending, without trying to cast yourself into any good light at all. The questions have a point.


If you have read what Dr. Harley says about affairs, then you will understand that you have been in a fog. We can help you by leading you out of the fog.

Can you get your husband posting here? If you do, we will direct him to stay on his own thread and not post on yours, and we can begin helping both of you.

HAVE YOU EMAILED DR. HARLEY? You can get some very good professional help, the absolute best, FREE. I strongly encourage you to do so.

This is going to be extremely painful, but healthy, for you to hear.

The being that tempted you into this affair would like you to think that it was something special and wonderful.

Please instead listen to those who know otherwise, from deep experience. Goldilocks, you would be amazed how many times we have seen you here before. While that may be uncomfortable for you to hear, it does mean that we know how to help you.

Please let us know how your husband is doing, and ask him to post here. Please also email Dr. Harley.

Does he even know yet?