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Joined: Apr 2010
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this is difficult. The only person behind me, ironically, is my husband.
I exposed to OW workplace and her boss was very happy to get the news.I prepared the letter from here with a few additions of information I knew when they were putting their firms names in jeopardy AND using company time and resources to be together.
He appreciated knowing and said it would be dealt with.
I also exposed to OW mother and brother, in addition to the night we told her husband. I asked for their help in saving 2 marriages and 7 children. Could they encourage their daughter/sister to never contact my husband again. They were astonished, said they would, and said it would be more than encouragement.
1 hour later I received a call from her irate husband saying I had no right to do that and that I was playing God. I said as soon as she decided to enter into a relationship with my husband she lost her choices and that those choices have consequences. Obviously, I have made her life very uncomfortable. I think they hate us, which is good! The thing is, he threatened a restraining order against me. For what? Telling the truth? do they have any grounds?
I also exposed to our family and his job. They are fully supportive of us.
However, lots of people said I had no right to contact her employer or her Mom. I think I did...
thoughts?

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Originally Posted by kstockett
... lots of people said I had no right to contact her employer or her Mom. I think I did...
thoughts?
Lots of people learned their ethics from Hollywood, too. All you have to do is channel-surf for one evening to see that lots of people are dumber than a tree stump.

When they say that 'you had no right', you can say, "She gave me that right when she tried to destroy my family, and I'm sorry that you don't realize that."

And if those "lots" of people then continue to give you a hard time, then you don't need to spend any more of your time on them. No need to cast your pearls before swine.


Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
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Truth is the best defense.

You had every right to tell the truth.

If they cannot handle it, I have a Jack Nicholson movie for them to watch.

You did the right thing. I would love to see them attempt to get a restraining order. That would be just precious. I wonder what they say on the complaint? BW told people the truth?

Yeah. They'll get laughed out of the room.


Thanks for all the support along the way.
I wish you all well. I'm outta here.
Peace.
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I know...
I told her boss she was essentially stealing from the company and he was happy to hear it.... how does that deserve a restraining order?

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From what I have learned on here, the more criticism and hostility you receive, the better it worked.

You have embarrassed her, and her husband, looks like greatly. His wife is a skank and he is a chump.

It worked perfectly.

The restraining order is a joke. You're done with them anyway, what's to restrain?

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Originally Posted by kstockett
this is difficult. The only person behind me, ironically, is my husband.

Seems to me you have many , if not all, the critical people behind you.

You said "our family." Does that mean children, too? They should be included if age allows.

Just don't stop. Make sure of NC, and all the other necessary things.

Last edited by mmmherb; 01/14/12 07:59 AM.
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The thing is, he threatened a restraining order against me. rotflmao

The predictable recourse of the gutless BS, at the instigation of a domineering witch-skank!

So, her workplace is okay with what you did, your husband is on-board, and your family is rallying behind you? You're batting .750 and you're worried?

No, you're not; you're celebrating - or SHOULD be!

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Don't worry about a restraining order.

Most people are really clueless about restraining orders. They are just not that easy to get. You can easily get a temporary RO if you have been married to the person or in a live-in relationship with them. But then you have to prove in court that they have threatened to harm you, or it will be dismissed.

I know someone who has been stalked by her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. She attempted multiple times to get a restraining order, but couldn't until she could prove there were hundreds of harassing phone calls and attempts to cause problems with my friend's employer.

If the BS tries to get a restraining order he will be laughed at or slapped down for wasting the court's time.


Me: BS 51
Himself: WH 53, EA/PA w/ RunnerSlut his "running buddy."
Buncha' kids. The two youngest are still minors.
Separated: 08/13/09 after 25 years of marriage
Plan D: Filed 11/13/09 Final 3/30/11
MC told me that he probably has a personality disorder
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Awesome job!

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Sounds like a very successful exposure to me! You got the OWs head spinning!

Originally Posted by kstockett
1 hour later I received a call from her irate husband saying I had no right to do that and that I was playing God


Wow. Sounds like irate husband is more concerned with his wife's paycheck than with his marriage. I would categorise his opinion under BS (not betrayed spouse). Playing god? How does telling the truth about an awful attack on your life in a bid to get it to stop qualify as playing god!!! It sounds like he is working plan doormat and is in line for a miserable time.

Originally Posted by kstockett
However, lots of people said I had no right to contact her employer or her Mom. I think I did...
thoughts?


Let me tell you my most horrible conversation with someone who I thought was a friend following exposure.

My exposure happened at 3am on facebook after finding texts on WH's phone. This led me to leave the house with his phone where I logged on to facebook at my mums house and stayed the night there.

The next day he got a message of support on his phone from someone I thought was my friend.

This person, lets call him saddo, sent my WH a message which said: 'You ok, WH? Just seen FB and Indie has reavealed all.'

This astonished me because 'revealed all' held no sense of shock. It clearly indicated that saddo already knew.

I called him up and he denied it. He then attacked me for exposure. Said it 'was no one else's business'. I said our marriage had been his business when he supported us at our wedding.

Then he criticised me for the day I chose. The anniversary of the death of OWs husband.

I replied that SHE chose the date. She was texting a married man on that date.

In short, anything that happens on MY husbands phone, on MY husbands body and which rips the heart of of MY life - is MY business and I can tell whoever I like. Particularly the peope who can get it to stop.

But saddo had chosen to keep his mouth shut out of warped morals, or fear. And he couldnt understand the thinking of someone who could speak the truth openly. He attacked me because he was ashamed of himself.

Oh and my OW threatened legal action too. They all do. Check out p33 of my thread if you want a laugh.

I hope one of them goes through with it one day. That will be a humiliating day in court for someone if they ever get that far.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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You did a great job, ks! Her H is irate because he has been publicly outed as a cuckold. His ego has taken a huge hit. This little restraining order thing is something he's doing to distract himself from the real, embarrassing problem: his little woman has been doing another man, and now everyone knows about it. Nice job! hurray

You're not harassing him. He can only pursue an RO against you if you continue to contact him, and you're not going to do that, right? There's no need; you've delivered the bomb. Your work there is done.



D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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My WH threatened with legal action too after my exposure of his affair at his work. Nothing ever came of it.
Empty words, said in anger born out of humiliation and shame. It will pass.


Me, BS, 35
J, WS, 33
12 years together, married 2.
No kids, just cats
D-day 06/30/11
In Plan B

"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
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Originally Posted by kstockett
However, lots of people said I had no right to contact her employer or her Mom. I think I did...
thoughts? .

Of course you did! You have a "right" to tell the truth in America. You did great, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You are not the one who did anything wrong, after all. It is wrong to have an affair, it is not wrong to expose the truth.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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well, I just got a call from the police. OW filed a no contact order never to contact her, her family, or place of employment.
does this sound right? I accomplished what I set out to do - kill the affair.
Can I get a no contact order against her?

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Originally Posted by kstockett
well, I just got a call from the police. OW filed a no contact order never to contact her, her family, or place of employment.
does this sound right? I accomplished what I set out to do - kill the affair.
Can I get a no contact order against her?

kstockett, you did a great job and have accomplished what you set out to do. I don't think you can file a nc order against her, though. Nor do you need to.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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LMAO! Uh, it's just tad bit LATE for a no contact order, huh? rotflmao Talk about closing the barn door after the horse has left!

And yes, it would appear you have struck a MASSIVE blow to their little fantasy world.

Nicely done!!

hurray



Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Good job K. Stay strong.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Originally Posted by kstockett
well, I just got a call from the police. OW filed a no contact order never to contact her, her family, or place of employment.
does this sound right? I accomplished what I set out to do - kill the affair.
Can I get a no contact order against her?


This is just typical wayward paranoia. She doesnt realise exposure is a one hit deal. She thinks you are going to expose to EVERYONE in the world - follow her wherever she goes forever.

I was described as a 'stalker' by my OW for simply telling her family and friends in one single FB message. Thats how attacked they feel. Too bad for them.

Filing stupid orders also gives them the illusion of control.

For ages they held the strings of so many peoples lives in their hands - and it gave the A spice, and peverse enjoyment in the secrecy of not giving a damn about anyone.

They liked having that control and they want it back. Well you arent going to need to contact her ever again so she can make as many silly pieces of paper as she likes.



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Well done, KS. It's not about vindication, but a good exposure sure can be comforting when the people who matter most support you and, more importantly, your marriage. Dr. Harley says exposure doesn't just shine light on the darkness of the affair, but it also offers comfort and support for the betrayed spouse. That support helped me get through the first few months after d-day.

As far the resistors go, don't sweat the small stuff. You did well.

Stay strong and hang in there.

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Originally Posted by kstockett
well, I just got a call from the police. OW filed a no contact order never to contact her, her family, or place of employment.
does this sound right? I accomplished what I set out to do - kill the affair.
Can I get a no contact order against her?

You don't get served a NC order via a Phone Call from the "police". Do you have caller ID? Who really called? This is not legal serving of an order. IANAL, but I would lmao at any "order" sent in this manner.


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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