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DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE, NEVER MOVE OUT!
This is one piece of advice that works for both plan MB's and plan divorce. Leave the house and she has the upper hand in keeping it when it comes before a judge.
Use every bit of persuasion that you can to have her move out, if it comes to that.
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Im on track im not going anywhere yet.u now me mr.curious. but what is the benefit of staying in the house?will have to leave anyway after divorce is final right? So why not just go?move on?
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Because it will look like you have abandoned your family. Any sway that you might have had with custody, child support or alimony would be lost. Your WW will be the angelic housefrau who stayed busy polishing her halo and holding down the fort while you, for some strange reason your honor, left in the middle of the night and [sobbing] abandoned me and the kids  Too, she's liable to move OM in to replace you. Why make her affair easier? It's obvious she's having trouble keeping a love nest open on her own, so your staying home will throw a wrench into her plan of easing you out and easing OM right in. Don't make it easy on her. Stay in your home. You're paying for it, I presume. Worry about post-divorce living arrangements if you're divorced. You're not divorced.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Refresh my memory-- do you have any children by your wife?
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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A little update.WW contacted via text.noticed car gone and few belongings.asked if I was moving and when also asked about the lawyer I saw yesterday.told her I wasn't leaving anytime soon and lawyer went good.she then texted me again asking if I can leave and stay somewhere else.as her funds are running out and she can't keep up.I told her to bring the kids home and she can stay but she is not to have OM near or in house.I haven't heard a reply. So..I ask u guys were is OM? Can't she stay with him? Can't he help her with funds? Why has she not stayed with him? Don't leave!! Make her leave. Don't make it easy on her to move the OM into your bed.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Tell her the kids can stay with you, and she can live with the OM. There's no eating cake for her in this situation. Continue with the divorce.
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she then texted me again asking if I can leave and stay somewhere else. The audacity of these waywards, eh?
ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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Im on track im not going anywhere yet.u now me mr.curious. but what is the benefit of staying in the house?will have to leave anyway after divorce is final right? So why not just go?move on? Stop with the quitter's attitude, Ed! That house is your marital home! It's not just where you stayed until your WW decided to screw around with some jerk! It's YOUR HOME. You don't leave YOUR HOME.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Added second VAR in house.I' have it running in kitchen first then ill mover it around.time to have a little fun.
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The audacity of these waywards, eh? I think I saw that one...The Audacity of a Dope
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Friend called WW still is over at his house.has not left nor om has been by.told me she is very distraut.very confused. WW told his wife that she was involved. Feels she needs to go back to WA and do some thinking.friend feels she will leave and stay there.looks like trouble in paradise? Second thoughts on what she has done?
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It doesn't matter what the source of the chaos is - knowing there is chaos gives you the chance to be the peaceful, comforting option. Great Plan A potential.
Make home the better choice.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I like creating chaos. Now its my turn to play the game.I hate to think it but its good to have a little bit of power.Im at work and I have thought about how this whole story of mine unfolded.I am lucky that I have some very close friends both male and female who have stood by me.even x-girlfriends from the past, talking to them as close friends i've come to realize they know me better than myself even better than my wife.it was a wake up call snapping me out of my rut.
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Let your wife stew in the juices of reality. Looks like since you moved your car, she doesn't have the carrot around her neck anymore. I wonder if mr. perfect is getting cold feet.
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I like creating chaos. Now its my turn to play the game.I hate to think it but its good to have a little bit of power.Im at work and I have thought about how this whole story of mine unfolded.I am lucky that I have some very close friends both male and female who have stood by me.even x-girlfriends from the past, talking to them as close friends i've come to realize they know me better than myself even better than my wife.it was a wake up call snapping me out of my rut. You seem to be creeping into Plan F/U here. Also, you shouldn't be speaking to women at all, especially x-girlfriends. You will quickly turn into an entitled wayward. Be very careful here Ed.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I think you have done great. You have respected yourself and the kids. When you speak to her again. I hope you will remind her (and the kids for that matter). That you were their father, that you loved and provided for them since they were babies. That you were always true to them and their mother. That none of this is your fault or choice. Then let them call you. Do you think kids moving into their teens are gonna have smooth sailing with mom? Especially now that she doesn't have your money to spoil them with. In a way, you are the cat bird seat with the kids. Trust me, eventually they will give their mom hell about this. And you just have to be there for them.
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even x-girlfriends from the past, talking to them as close friends i've come to realize they know me better than myself even better than my wife  Do not go down this road. I don't care if you have 100% decided you never, under any circumstances want WW back again. DO NOT join the army of pulverized-brain zombies. You are not immune.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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even x-girlfriends from the past, talking to them as close friends i've come to realize they know me better than myself even better than my wife Do not go down this road. I don't care if you have 100% decided you never, under any circumstances want WW back again. DO NOT join the army of pulverized-brain zombies. You are not immune. You are allowing these women to meet your emotional needs. You might as well allow them to pump heroin into your brain. It might make you feel good, but it will not help you. Even if your marriage is over, it will not help you.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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even x-girlfriends from the past, talking to them as close friends i've come to realize they know me better than myself even better than my wife. Totally crap! I call bullcrap!
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