Google translate will get you the basic gest of what is being said, but that also requires that you know both languages to understand what is being translated wrong.

Find a friend or coworker who speaks that language and have them translate.

But I can't stress enough to you how important it is that you get all your ducks in a row first.

There is an interrogation technique that is VERY effective.

You expose little lies and make the person being interrogated believe that there is nothing that they can hide from you because you have a pile of evidence.

So, let me give you a few small examples. Let's say that you get a VAR recording of her talking to "Steve." Lets say Steve is the hypothetical OM. Now lets say you have other evidence, such as her pics, and some emails and texts.

An interrogation would go like this:

You: "How was your day?"
Her: "Great."

You: "Anything interesting happen? Talk to anyone interesting?"
Her: "No. Just the girlfriends."

You: "Do you want to tell me about Steve?"
Her: "I don't know a Steve. Why do you ask?"

You: "Seriously? Steve, from X State. You don't know him?"
Her: "Uh. Oh, him. Ummm. He's just a friend I talk to once in a while."

You: "Really? Just a friend? Ever send this friend any emails? Perhaps some pictures?"
Her: "Uh. Um. Are you spying on me? Are you being irrational and jealous? Am I not allowed to have friends?"

You: "Look. I know about Steve. I know what you've sent him. Do you need me to drag it out of you or will you admit to it?"
Her: "What do you think you know?"

You: (Pulling out pics) These look familiar to you?
Her: How did you get these?!

And so on. Don't spill it all right away. Challenge her. Let her lie. Then present the evidence to show the lie. You'll likely catch more lies on the VAR. So once you expose one lie, you expose another one. You then make her believe she can't lie about anything since you seem to already know more than you actually do. This is how you get a confession.

Expect her deflect, yell, try to change the subject, etc.

She'll lie like crazy. Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.

I also suspect that she may have had some sort of meeting on her trip with these younger women. She may have had a one nighter or a flirtateous encounter.

But a keylogger will reveal any exchanges with this OM.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It sucks. But gather your evidence and play things smart. Don't let your emotions guide you.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all of the advice.

I just installed a keylogger on her computer this evening (eblaster�thanks Melody), but I think if any continuing communication is occurring, it is probably via her phone. Thanks NG, for the survival kit list. I�ll get a few VARS and put them in her car, and in a couple of rooms that she is usually in, hopefully tomorrow. She listens to the radio loud, so I might have to pull the fuse on that for a while.

My wife speaks Filipino (Tagalog), but also her home dialect with family. I�m guessing the person would probably speak Tagalog also�she mostly communicates with other Filipinos (family, old friends, classmates, etc).

For translation, I trust her cousin, but I probably wouldn�t tell him who the conversations were from. I have a dozen Filipino friends who could translate as well that aren�t family nor as close to her, so I may reconsider as suggested; that shouldn�t be a problem. Google translate is a good idea, but I�m guessing the abbreviated language of texting may not translate well. I don�t text and can�t understand half of it in English.

There is a guy she occasionally communicates with in NY; she�s known him for some years but they�ve never met (she says). In fact, he texted her today on her phone. I did casually ask about this guy when he texted, and she said they never met and probably never will because his wife is jealous. I know that sounds bad. However, she isn�t secretive with her phone nor their occasional texting; I picked up her phone and read the brief message (I couldn�t understand it) when it came in, she had no problem with it� so I don�t know.

She did say I was acting strange when I came home. Can�t deny, I am stressed out, I said work was bad. I did ask her about her phone model, computer, etc., so I could be sure the software I was buying would work. I looked through her pictures on her phone (not in front of her face, but she knew I had her phone; she immediately gave me the password when I asked for it), but didn�t find anything incriminating. She then asked why are you �policing� me? First she asked that defensively, but then later approached me and asked the same thing calmly, then again in a laughing way. I thought it odd.

I�ll stop all of the obvious snooping and get the info directly from the keylogger and VARS, as she is apparently now suspicious of me. I never cared at all about who she talked to before, nor showed any interest in phones, etc., so maybe that set it off.

Thanks for the warnings and information, I won�t reveal anything until I can confirm something.

Sorry for the long post.

I really appreciate everyone�s help.

She is showing some suspicious behaviour. Trust your gut that something is going on, but you need to get evidence first.

She wasn't worried about you looking at her phone, because she KNEW you wouldn't understand it anyways.

This man with the "jealous wife" is a good place to start. What would his wife have to be jealous about? An inappropriate relationship, that's what.

Because I received the alert letter from NY, I�m assuming she was contacting someone in NY electronically. So, this guy is on my radar. But, she communicates with many people; she has hundreds of facebook friends. I�m fairly certain she would give me his name and contact info if I asked. However, at this point I don�t want to ask her additional questions about him to tip her off more.

My plan is to wait for info from the keylogger and/or VARs (still need to get VARs today). However, I�m concerned that if the contact is primarily texting, and I suspect that it is, I won�t be able to pick that up at all with the tools that I have. Maybe I can convince her to jailbreak her phone and put something on there. I�ll wait on that one for a week. I�m not sure what else I can do.

You should check to see if your cell provider can give you logs of text messages sent/received at her number (if the account is in your name). Not all provide this info easily, but they have the data. Depends on the company as to how you go about getting it.

If you get this, it might just give numbers that were used and not the content of the texts, but you could find out the numbers used most and compare this to numbers called....see if you can find any patterns.

This sounds like backcovering for a sequence of events that went like this:

OM: My wife is suspicious/has found out about you.
WW: What if she gets in touch with my H!
OM: Tell him she's a jealous nut. Its just her word.

My bet is that the 'jealous nut' OMW decided to send you evidence. If so, what a shame she did not get in touch in person.

Another possibility is that she simply knows about your wifes affair/seen some strange behaviour and so doesnt want her H talking to her.

It would be a good idea to see if you can make contact with this wife. Can you reach her on FB or some other way? Once you are in a position to after some more snooping, it could be very valuable to reach out to her and ask her what she knows.

You sound strong, in good shape and are doing all the right things.

That is unusual and very impressive. Keep it up! Come on here if you want to vent...

Couldn't the reason that she was not upset when you read her message be that she knows you couldn't understand it? That sounds like a likely target.

Do not have the cousin translate.
He may be your friend but you do not want to reveal to him you are keylogging for future reference.

Find someone else, not so close to the family that can translate.

You could even find someone online to do it if google translate isn't clear enough.

Bricks,

Be VERY careful with the info you will be getting.

When you have enough info to confront, you are under NO obligation to reveal HOW you got it,,nor should you reveal. In some states (depending on where you live) some suggestions are not legal. I am NOT suggesting you not do this. DO IT! I did and had to do so to get the truth and save my sanity. I didn't care if it could be used in court nor did I care if it could be considered "stalking". I needed to know FOR ME!

I never did tell him exactly HOW I knew. I insinuated I had a PI and that many of his so-called "friends" didn't really aprrove of his actions & told me.

Check out the Operation Investigation Forum for lots of suggestions and advice. Do what you've got to do & be careful!

indie--

I really wish the person who sent the warning told me who my wife sent the picture to, or something more about what happened, but I guess I�m grateful that I got what I did.

Good idea, maybe I can try to contact her through FB somehow. My wife said that this guy and his wife are friends with her on FB. I�m not exactly sure what to say, however, I�ll have to think about that... if she is not the right person, I don�t want to say something that would get back to my wife and let her know what I know.

high road�

Good idea, I will try to get in touch with the phone co. for phone logs. My wife handles all of the bills, however, so I may need some info from her to access the account. I�ll be careful with that.

Melody�

I agree with you, it could be that she isn�t afraid because she could tell me the text said anything. If I could capture the texts somehow, I could have them translated. I�ll see if I can get them from the phone co. I�m still thinking of a back-up plan if I cannot.

reading, Nerlycrzy--

I will be careful about my wife�s cousin as well as not revealing info sources, thanks for the reminders. I still have some time to think about those things.


This whole thing is really pissing me off more than anything else right now. I couldn�t sleep at all last night. And so much of my time and some $ is wasted on this already, and this is only a day into it (I�m mad at my wife, not you all!)... Whine over.

Thanks again to all of you.

I wouldn't say anything to them until you are certain what is going on. But I would copy and paste all this guys and his wife's contacts into a WORD doc and save it.


You might be able to sign on online and get the phone log.

Just say: Did you send me a package in the mail?

If she says no, tell her ok thanks you already saw who it was from.

CV

Does she always log out of Facebook on her computer?

Can you get her FB password?

Can you get onto her FB from her phone?

Can you get her email passwords?

Sorry, you're here. I know spending the money on keyloggers and stuff sucks, but hiring lawyers and getting a divorce is way, way more expensive.

Call logs are readily available online, but text logs usually take a special request through customer service or other department.

I wouldn't say anything to them until you are certain what is going on. But I would copy and paste all this guys and his wife's contacts into a WORD doc and save it.

[quote]—

I agree you need to get all the info you can from your end before finding out what she knows.

You will need to contact OMW (when you are sure who she is/there is one) any way as part of your exposure plan.

Just the same as this person who sent the pic should have got in touch properly.

But I know what your saying about being grateful for what you got. TONNES of people knew my H was having an A and just sat on their hands.

Their is also the possibility she was told lies about you (if it is OMW) You heard she was jealous, she heard you were controlling/abusive/whatever-crap-waywards-say-so-often-its-practically-obligatory.

Dont be dishearteartened. Although betrayal is massively painful you are doing brilliantly and I am sure will come through this holding all the cards.

From what I understand, you can download iphone text messages through the iTunes backup.

From a quick search, here are some links with some options:

http://www.ehow.com/how_7767959_save-sms-messages-iphones.html

http://www.brighthub.com/mobile/iphone/articles/82519.aspx

http://osxdaily.com/2010/07/08/read-iphone-sms-backup/

Bricks, sorry you are here but welcome. You are in good hands, you have many good posters helping you

I haven't read all the way through the thread yet but someone asked me to stop by because I have family members that are Filipino. If you need something translated, LMK and we can set something up through the moderator.

Hang in there!

Bricks this is expensive and underhanded, but this is your life we are talking about here.

I suggest the iphone could have an "accident". If you dumped your beer on it, it would force her to use the pc, and the keylogger would be more effective for a few days.

Knowledge is power..

Our Canadian neighbor does have a point. Full beer bottles can be quite destructive to glass-faced iphones...especially when you drop them onto phones from a height of a foot or so above.

I know the accidental toilet drop or full sink of dishes nudge have been bantered about around these boards before as well. Just a thought.