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ok, sorry it's been a while. Thanks for all your advice! Not sure if I should post here or start a new thread. I wasn't able to get into the cell phone but I did do the var and found EVIDENCE! I am freaking out and don't know what to do... Let us know what you found.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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conversation with HER! They were in his car apparently going to lunch. She sounds so disgustingly bubbly! He let her read a text that i sent him and she is reinforcing to him that I'm horrible. The text that she read out loud was something to the effect of "I'm sorry for what I've done wrong in our marriage, can you say the same?" How does that make me horrible? She's a little homewrecker! She telling him "why cant she just apologize, why does she have to ask for your apology? You never did anything wrong to her." Man is she in the dark!
Anyway, didn't get a name but did hear that she has one, possibly 2 kids. And I may have heard her say something about her HUSBAND but not sure because I was almost hyperventilating.
I got the impression that she wants more from him but he told her to just appreciate what they have right now. He said that he's putting everything on the line for her. He also mentioned to her how sad it was that he gets along better with our kids since we're fighting. And she told him "see, so if you leave her, it'll be better for your kids".
He HAS been paying more attention to our kids lately, he normally doesn't. THIS was part of my ongoing problem with him for years, that he never spends quality time with our kids! So NOW he decides to do it? I am sickened!
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Who is she? Do you know her identity?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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no I do not know who it is.
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no I do not know who it is. ok, you need to KEEP QUIET and find out who it is. Can you hire a PI?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I can not use money without his knowledge, he will see it
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I am very nervous to see him when he gets home. I am so absolutely disgusted! How can I let on that I don't know anything?
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Daisy, be like James Bond. Calm, cool and collected. You've gotten some info.
Take a deep breath. Get more.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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oh, and is there a way to tell if he's spying on what I do on our computer? I've been too afraid to visit this site in case he finds out.
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Before I forget, thanks Melodylane and also thanks TryingEverything.
I'm just afraid that it will be obvious that I know something. I literally feel sick to my stomach. I don't even want to see him or talk with him.
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If he asks what is wrong,tell him you must have "ate something bad" or "something that did not agree with you".
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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I can not use money without his knowledge, he will see it Do you have a credit card? If so, you could hire a PI and charge it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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how much do pi's cost?
what about a gps device? something affordable, and small with no fees.
I'm sorry, this is a far stretch for me. I am not used to be deceiptful (sp). I feel awful having to do this. It took me a long time to even buy the var and then even longer to actually put it to use.
Then actually hearing them have a conversation? I'm panic stricken!
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Remember Daisy that Plan A is done TO him. Not with him.
When you are able throw so many goodies and needs and enticements his way it'll blow little Bubblehead (good OW nickname?)right out of the water.
You arent doing it to impress him - but because Art of War teaches us that the enemy must be lured out into the open with enticements.
Remember that they are desperate to paint you as some sort of fire-breathing demon, so Plan A like a rockstar.
Wear something devastating, like just his shirt, or some cute nightwear and say to yourself 'I wonder if she will get to hear about this!'
Which of course she wont, becuase she would be jealous.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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But maybe wait until your stomach feels better!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I'm sorry, this is a far stretch for me. I am not used to be deceiptful (sp). I feel awful having to do this. It took me a long time to even buy the var and then even longer to actually put it to use. Daisy, it is wrong to lie and cheat, it is not wrong to CATCH someone lying and cheating. You have an inappropriate negative attitude about snooping. Investigating to find out if your husband is doing something wrong is a VIRTUE, not a bad thing. You can save your marriage doing this. Do you think the feds are being bad and "deceitful" when they spy on drug dealers and bust them? You need to find a good PI and hire him to follow your husband at the most likely times. OR you can follow your husband on your own.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm sorry, this is a far stretch for me. I am not used to be deceiptful (sp). I feel awful having to do this. It took me a long time to even buy the var and then even longer to actually put it to use. de�ceit: concealment or distortion of the truth for the purpose of misleading; duplicity; fraud; cheating... Sweetie, your WH is being deceitful, misleading you with his lies. You are trying to discover what's actually true about your marriage. That is being smart, not deceitful. Your WH's deceit is leading him (and you) down a path of misery. Your investigating is not. It's the AFFAIR that is wrong, not your investigation of it.
Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010
Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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how much do pi's cost?
what about a gps device? something affordable, and small with no fees.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Great post, Longway!!
Daisy, no one has the right to the privacy to destroy you behind your back.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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oh, and is there a way to tell if he's spying on what I do on our computer? I've been too afraid to visit this site in case he finds out. here's a good link to find out if a keylogger is installed: http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070928020553AASra1LYou are plan a-ing him, right? In addition to what the others have said, I also would recommend that if he has a facebook, you start posting stuff on his facebook page. Stuff you know she will see. Like "had a great night with you hun. You were so sexy".
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