Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 48 1 2 7 8 9 10 11 47 48
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
Her reply: "Ummm thanks for the offer...but I'm uncomfortable...sorry..."


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Originally Posted by stillwaiting1963
Let's see what she replies. I sent off what you suggested GJM - it sounded perfect.

Yeah, G's better at that than me

MrRollieEyes


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
TW - I hope I didn't offend you. Didn't mean to.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Originally Posted by stillwaiting1963
Her reply: "Ummm thanks for the offer...but I'm uncomfortable...sorry..."

Remember..

Plan A = No Expectations


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
Now she replied: "Go n do something fun <SW>...u deserve it..."


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
I'm debating whether to ask her what her plans are, you know, to be cordial. I almost have a gut instinct she's not doing anything. She apparently didn't do anything the first playoff game, and that was a big shock!


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Originally Posted by stillwaiting1963
I'm debating whether to ask her what her plans are, you know, to be cordial. I almost have a gut instinct she's not doing anything. She apparently didn't do anything the first playoff game, and that was a big shock!
Why not plan to take the kids out to eat for the game at a sports bar/restaurant or something like that. Then re-invite her tomorrow. If you get off of your turf, she may be more susceptible to accepting your invite. Could be the source of her discomfort.

Just a thought

Last edited by TigerWes; 02/03/12 07:55 PM.

Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
TW - that's a very good point. I'll kick that idea around.

Should I ask her what her plans are? Since she did ask me?

Isn't this incredible? 26 years with the woman and I have to ask someone else how to speak with her. crazy


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
Guess I could reply back "I understand....what are your plans for the game?"


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
I would have asked her why she feels uncomfortable.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Originally Posted by stillwaiting1963
TW - that's a very good point. I'll kick that idea around.

Should I ask her what her plans are? Since she did ask me?

Isn't this incredible? 26 years with the woman and I have to ask someone else how to speak with her. crazy
Not incredible at all. This is not the woman you've been with for 26 years. She's an alien wrapped in your wife's body. Right now, you're dealing with someone you really don't know at all. She may look and sound like someone you once knew, but that's it.

I wouldn't ask what her plans are. What's the likelihood she would tell you the truth?


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,156
Originally Posted by stillwaiting1963
TW - I hope I didn't offend you. Didn't mean to.

LOL..oh Good Lord no. I can't be offended. My 2 exes sapped that right out of me! smile


Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
You know GJM, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I feel scared to ask her such a question. Probably cause she'll come back with something like "Duh....figure it out." She's said stuff like that in the past. Just gets me discouraged.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
You've had A LOT more conversation with your WW since she moved out than I have with mine.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
Originally Posted by stillwaiting1963
You've had A LOT more conversation with your WW since she moved out than I have with mine.


Persistance my friend...she said a lot of hateful things to me, but I kept on going.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 146
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 146
U
Originally Posted by stillwaiting1963
Isn't this incredible? 26 years with the woman and I have to ask someone else how to speak with her. crazy

I totally know what you mean. I had WW over for supper tonight with the kids and I actually wrote a list ahead of time of benign conversation starters for those periods of uncomfortable silence. Sad thing is that I had to refer to it.


me BS 38
WS 36
DS 5
DD 3
D-day 8/16/11
Begin plan A 9/22/11
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
I am on the other side - I have Plan A with WH happening. Perseverance is key. He wished I was dead last October. IKEA on Saturday and dinner on Sunday. We have come a long way!

Perseverance is key!

My motto today is if this man does divorce me, then he is by far the biggest fool on the planet.

Eye on the Prize boys!!!

Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
G
GJM Offline
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
I also kept the invites out there too. I give compliments when I see her. It wears me down at times because the giver is always at work and the taker is throwing tantrums. How bad do you want this?


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
Very bad. I see no other woman in my future besides her. Plan A for 6 more months - not a problem.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
Interesting. Just got off the phone with one of my BILs. He said that my wife had texted his wife (her SIL) this past Tuesday to inform her that she was doing fine, sees the kids almost every day, blah, blah. He said that she texted them out of the blue and offered up how she's been doing. Had been close to a month since she was last in contact with them.

Now this past Tuesday is the day that WW texted me and jacked me a new one for me posting a picture on Facebook of the ice fishing fun I had with her brother the prior Saturday. So she yells at me, then turns around and texts them out of the blue to kiss up and say everything's fine. My BIL can't believe her, says she's way out there and she just expects everyone to think that what she's doing is fine.

Kind of irks me that she told them she sees the kids almost everyday. She hasn't been over to the house since Thursday last week. Hasn't seen DS since then. She did see DD on Wednesday when DD stayed over at her place. She does text the kids most days, but doesn't visit very often.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Page 9 of 48 1 2 7 8 9 10 11 47 48

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 473 guests, and 79 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,839 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5