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Joined: Jan 2012
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Has anyone every heard of such a thing? What the hell would an OM want to give a ring to a married woman? Even if it's only a little ring with small diamonds? Do these two think they're in high school? She hasn't said straight out it's from him. but she sure is implying it.

So far she hasn't gotten back to me. I'm assuming she doesn't know how to reply or want to.

WW needs to seriously think about the kids.

Where are the letters at? I will need some help modifying them.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
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TW, please don't step away. I needed something like this to wake me up and piss me off. You know how hard this is. I need your help.

I am ready to expose now.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
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Err, get more contacts to expose further that is. I don't want to make it sound like I didn't expose at all.

TT one of my BIL's, he's pissed beyond pissed.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
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Can I get to her Facebook friends to expose if I'm no longer friends with her? I can see her wall through mutual friends.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
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Originally Posted by stillwaiting1963
Can I get to her Facebook friends to expose if I'm no longer friends with her? I can see her wall through mutual friends.

Copy as many friends from her facebook page as possible. GET ALL OF OM'S CONTACTS IF YOU CAN.

NUCLEAR EXPOSURE TONIGHT.

Get MelodyLane's exposure 101 letter for facebook.

Get OM's family if you can on Facebook.

Stay up as long as you have to and send out the letters.

YOU ARE BEING REPLACED AS WE SPEAK. THE RING MEANS NOTHING - YOU ARE BEING REPLACED ... THAT MEANS EVERYTHING!!!!

Expect her to call you everyname in the book
Strut her hickies in front of you
Tell you they have great sex
Yell at you
Not speak to you for days, weeks, months
Threaten you with lawsuits, divorce, lawsuits, divorce
Continue to curse you out
TELL YOU SHE WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER COME BACK TO YOU.

Get to the exposure NOW

Last edited by PrayIncessantly; 02/09/12 10:02 PM.
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OK, take a step back, Still.

Breathe and stay calm. You got some fiesty posts from me, Tiger, The Road, etc. It's because we KNOW what's going on. Absorb those realities and take no action. Take a moment.

OK, now (not much time?) you need to accept that you can adopt MB concepts or not. If you do, you must expose this A for what it is. Expose, hon. Yes, again and in the right way,

Many say it, and as a witness I will tell you that never has one regretted it. Only regretted not doing it sooner.

The only hope for your marriage is that there is no affair in it, and it's your job to excise the affair from your marriage.

Major balls-hugs to you.

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I'm a slow typer! Still - NOW YOU ARE TALKING, MAN!!!

Get pissed and go get your family back! Good man!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very, very proud of you and this attitude. You've got great help with finding OM. I'll read in a sec and see if I can help/add.

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Yes, and cut/copy any Facebook friends lists to a Word doc before you send msgs so you have once you are blocked. Time msgs 30 seconds apart so that you are not blocked as Spam by Facebook.

Still - re-read Praying's message. And again. Nothing could be more urgent.

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Still: has anyone ever heard of such a thing? Yeah. Over and over and over and over.

Right here. That's why we call it the script. (((Still))!

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Originally Posted by Surfer88
Yes, and cut/copy any Facebook friends lists to a Word doc before you send msgs so you have once you are blocked. Time msgs 30 seconds apart so that you are not blocked as Spam by Facebook.

Still - re-read Praying's message. And again. Nothing could be more urgent.


BAD INFO

You must wait 60 seconds or FB will block you out.

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I 'contacted' OM for the first time. I sent a text to him: "Did you give my married wife <first><last> a ring?"

I didn't want to send anything that would land me in legal trouble, or be considered slander. I didn't know what else to say. I mainly did it at this point just to get his attention. To let WW know that I contacted him.

I need to somehow make things uncomfortable for him, to the point where it's not worth it for him to stay with my W.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
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I made some changes to Melody's FB letter:

Dear friends and family,

I am writing this message because you are an important person in the lives of W and I. As some of you may know, W and I are separated. W has been carrying on an affair with OM who lives in <city>, since at least May of last year. The purpose of the separation is so that she can carry on her affair without my interference.

She refuses to end the affair. I want our marriage to recover from this affair. If you have any influence on W, please do what you can to get her to stop this affair. Our kids want us to stay married, I want to stay married, but the affair must end.

As our friends and family, I am asking that you use your influence and talk with W to end her affair and try to work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support DS, DD, and I. Please support our marriage.

I would so appreciate your support and prayers.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
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So glad you are now going to drive the rollercoaster yourself, this is your best shot at coming between the affair partners.........exposure killed my husband's affair, it is hard to carry on when everyone you love now knows what you are doing......
Stay strong SW, do it big and hard, then sit back and watch the affair blow up, your wife will be pissed, so what, just keep saying I did what I had to do to save my marriage and my family........Then you give her your list of requirements in order to stay in the marriage and tell you hope she choses what could be great .......Tell her you are willing when she comes to her senses, if she choses the affair then your relationship will have to end and your family will have to end as well as she knows it now.............
But first the affair has to be blown to hell where it belongs.......
good luck


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 270
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You must expose and do it NOW! Who cares if she gets mad as hell. She's left you any way. You have nothing to lose!

I gave my POSOM a ring because, yes, it made me feel like I was in high school. Affairs are effortless. Your wife's OM feels like it's effortless right now. Wait until you expose and his world is turned upside down. He'll feel she isn't worth it.

Go to plan B after exposure........this will scare the daylights out of your WW.

I've said this many times on here but you cannot allow fear of her reaction to dissuade you. Believe me, she is scared as hell. She just isn't showing it.

Good Luck!
CT


Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
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Posts: 380
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I need advice or help on this - is there anything that I can text the OM that will get him thinking. Anything that anyone has successfully tried? I do not want to keep pestering OM and come across as desperate, because I'm not. I would like to take small, well defined and strategically targeting messages to him.


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
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Posts: 1,820
Just focus on exposing to eveyone else for now, I would forget about the OM, do you think he cares or feels guilty, he isn't like you he doesn't have that in him....
He will just look at it like you are a nut case and it will just reaffirm to him why it's right for your wife to have the affair with him......
Exposure will get him thinking......


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 270
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Posts: 270
Melody Lane can tell you exactly what to do. She's a pro!

You need to understand something. Affairs aren't real. Your wife is attempting to live out a fantasy; however, once reality settles in......she'll be regretful.

I have an ex-friend who left her family and married OM all within a span of a year and a half. She ended up telling me that she regrets marrying him and she proceeded to have an EA with an old boyfriend.

Your wife is on drugs right now and will not listen to reason. You need fear to shock her out of her fog.

Shout out to Melody Lane. You can't sit on this! This POSOM is tearing your family apart!
CT


Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,057
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If it was me, I would text him that you're not going to give up on your marriage and you'll do what you have to in order to protect your family and he needs to move on.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



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GJM,
I agree and he needs to be made aware of the pain he's causing your children!
CT


Me: WW41
Hubby: BH40...My Amazing forgiving man (CharpyTest)
DD: 8 DS: 8 DD: 6
EA/PA: 3 years
May 25, 2011 (Formal NC letter sent)
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 380
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GJM & CT, thanks so much. This is what I am looking for. I don't want to keep texting him, just a couple well targeted texts to make him think.

GJM, I think I will use your suggestion. Well put.

CT, how can I word it about the kids?


Me: 49
WW: 45
Married almost 23 years
Together 26+ years
DS18
DD15
D-Day: 7/28/11
Separated: 11/18/11
WW filed for D on 2/14/12 (3 days after near full exposure)
D final: 9/17/12
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