Practice RH. Hiding AMA hormone therapy is pretty whack.

Stupid, even.

Wow, demanding much?

You're writing style is really ***really*** annoying, and hopefully looking at the length of time you've been here others have already told you that. But experience tells me that you may be totally different in person...

Yes matter of fact, I thought of this after I posted... not everyone was in their *late* teens. My 2 youngest were *young* teens or "tweens". Sorry for not being 100% on target with that CWMI. My bad.

Most of the more serious problems were being generated by kids in their late teens, from the time we dated, to the time we married, most of the way until today. If that clarifies for you.

So anyway here's the ages:

His
41
38
36
32
30
26

Mine
28
26
21
20

Well I'm brand new here, but this sounds a bit like a disrespectful judgment. Am I right - is that what this is? Thanks for the illustration.

Partners4life

What do you mean about this? Was there infidelity in his past?

Yes.

It seems you may have never recovered from his affair?

MB has a plan for that.

Read this How to Survive An Affair

A few more questions.

When was his affair?
Was the OW married?

Does he live his life with complete transparency?

I'm sorry for your pain. You also might want to notify the MODs and have this moved to the SAA board.

Your.

Lol.

Your lack of grammar is etc.

Good luck!

CWMI, I don't know what your problem is, but I'd appreciate it if you'd just discontinue commenting after any of my posts, as well as don't PM me, or have any contact whatsoever with me in any form. Of course I also will not be commenting after your posts, nor contacting you in any way.

Hopefully I don't have to get the Mods involved to make that happen.

When was his affair? Exactly when our problems (hormonal, medical) started, one year ago. Also my son moving in coincided with the ending of the affair, and he was rather eager to do anything to make me happy. Like I said earlier, I cashed in some negotiating "chips"

Was the OW married? No

Does he live his life with complete transparency? Yes

I don't suppose there's any way we can quit talking about this huh... I'm guessing that this is why we're having issues, I'm not over it. I am still so pissed off. You guys have no idea... all the chances I've had to cheat and never once have I acted on it. Never once.

Of course you aren't over it but Dr. Harley has a very successful plan for this. If it's followed.

First his affair needs to be exposed to your children and family.
He needs to write a NC letter for your approval and to send.
He needs to answer ALL your questions about the affair.

You need to build an affair proof marriage using EP's, complete transparency, NC with OW for life. He needs to have boundaries and you need 20 hrs of UA time a week filling each others top EN.

Read these.
Exposure 101

There are reasons for affairs but never excuses.
Carrot and Stick of Plan A

Are you and your WH up for this?

I know I'm giving you a lot to read but all of it will help you.
Thread to Newly Betrayed Spouse

We won't be exposing it to family, our relationships with our kids are tentative as it is. The affair is over, period. I don't need anyone to pressure him. We both understand what happened, I just can't let go of my anger. My anger is actually harming my physical body at this point. His guilt is harming his physical body.

Other than the exposure, yes we are up for it.

Thank you for the links BrainHurts, and thank you for not being judgmental.

Has he answered all your questions about the affair?

How much UA time are you getting?

Read this Requirements for Recovery for an Affair

Dr. Harley also recommends AD's and or Anxiety meds. Can you do this with your current med issues.

We've been where you're at.

Listen to this radio clip of Dr. Harley telling a WH what he needs to do to

recover. Radio Clip on a WH on what to do to get back with his wife 3:50 mark

Yes, and I thought that the initial crying and devastation was all there was... I didn't realize the anger stays and stays.


Well if you don't count watching TV together... let's see I guess 12 - 15


I do take an rx sleep aid as well as anti anxiety that work fine with the hormones. Dr. wants me in therapy as well, which I just found out today, and that is fine I'll do that via insurance and then hubby and I can do MB program via the site here, and coaching.

No TV doesn't count.
Policy of Undivided Attention

Are you still talking about the affair?

What did you think about that radio clip I posted?

Is this his only affair? How long did it last? Who was OW? How did they start their affair? How did you find out?

The anger is very normal. It will get better and your M will be better if you follow MB.

No, I was not suggesting you were lying, I apologize that this is how it seemed. I am sorry about your medical problems also.

I understand exactly what you are saying about the anger and resentment that lingers and even builds over time after an A. My H had an A several years back, and I went through that as well. Eventually I went into full withdrawal. My anger and distance went on for many years.

I can only imagine how hard a blended family situation would be even without the issues you are dealing with. My H and I don't always agree when it comes to our own children.

Have you thought of contacting Steve Harley for marriage coaching, or perhaps you could send an email to Dr. Harley, to be answered on his radio program?

I am sorry if you have felt attacked here, or maybe you feel some responses are going off track, but everyone that has responded to you IS trying to help you.

Hi Partners4life, welcome to Marriage Builders. I have been reading through your thread and wondered if you could answer a few questions to help me understand.

1. has your son actually been diagnosed by a professional? OCD is typically not a crippling mental illness that would require one to drop out of life

2. why can't you have sex with your husband? I am unclear on this

3. what was done after your husbands affair to repair the damage in your marriage? Does he ever see the OW in any capacity? Does she live close by? How long was the affair and how did you find out?

It's very difficult; I burst into tears just reading your posts on this thread, same exact thing happens whenever he and I talk about the affair. We avoid talking about it now. In fact, I'm extremely uncomfortable talking about it to you even. I plan to address it, details etc in therapy. I can cry in there.



I agree with what Dr. H says on it, and most of everything he mentions we've already done. There are no addiction issues, to porn or anything else. I snoop on him regularly, with his knowledge and consent, and encouragement. I'm just stuck with not being able to let go of my anger.



It's his only affair, and I don't want to go into any more details about it, other than it's over and we're repairing things now. Sorry.