Thank you so much Tom, I really appreciate your encouragement. I'm runnning a marathon here with no sure result so I need all the support i can get. ***EDIT***

I am going to be very blunt with you.

I am very very wary of F?WSs who don't back up the talk with action. These are very basic precautions that should have been implemented without us having to nag you or your H having to ask you.

Additionally, you were not being straightforward in answering Mrs Recon's question regarding EPs. It actually set off a red flag for me the way that you answered... I'm not impressed, BV. Not at all.

BV,

Why have you taken so long to write the NC letter?

Why haven't you changed all your contact information closed FB?

You're being called to the carpet.

Words do not equal actions.

ITA. The ink's not dry on the divorce decree, Aphelion. Why are you hastening the death of a marriage that a wayward is desperately trying to save? Are you saying Dr. Harley's methods for recovering marriages are tricks? Manipulations? HUH. And yet, there is no divorce action initiated....

Yes, please do so in case I've missed something. The wayward wants to recover the marriage. The betrayed spouse says he doesn't. And yet he does nothing to end the relationship. He doesn't sound committed to ending the marriage. Please quote Dr. H on this.

Apologies SusieQ & others who have pulled me up on this. I'm pretty ashamed of my inaction here.

I've been sitting here thinking of how to respond, and my excuses. But there's really not excuse. They are pretty simple actions and i need to just get them done, regardless of whether there's a perceived threat from OM or not.

Do you think I should shut my FB even though it's one of the ways my H and I interact atm?

I will be buying a new sim card(new #) on the way home tonight and when i get home i will open a new gmail account.

I will report in tomorrow as to whether i've done these or not.

Thanks for the kick up the bum

The NC letter... I guess because it's been 6 months since the seperation from my H and a couple of months since of seen the OM i didn't want to do this because I think my H's response will be 'i don't really care anymore'. And for me, the thought of actually having to send something to OM (pause for vomit face) feels like that breaks the NC time i've already racked up here!!!

But i will do it. I will print and send to my H today in the post with an envelope for him to send on if he wishes.

Actually i'm so p**sed off at myself for not doing it earlier i'm just going to take a break from work now and go get a new phone number! GRRR.

To save the BH more agony. This thread has no compassion for him in it at all. It�s all about the adulteress. Obvious. Yes, this is her thread. But it talks and talks and talks about the BH as if he is a mere lab rat for the adulteress to experiment some more upon. This BH should be left alone, for his own future happiness.

No. You are not nearly as good at magnification and reductio ad absurdum as you think you are.

Actually, he has already done as much as he can to divorce. He left the marital home with his daughter, and he has stated more than once he wants one. He has told the adulteress they are �separated,� which is as much as he can legally do now. See below.

You haven�t read this thread, or my specific post, very closely have you? The only reason given for no quick divorce is, and I quote for you, so you cannot continue to ignore the facts, �This BH not only has the right to D he has stated his strong desire to do so. He is only forced, trapped actually, into waiting 18 months by some medieval socialistic D law.� Let me know if you need this explained. I have a good friend who is an NZ solicitor.

Where in MB theory is ok to advise a WS to essentially stalk a BS? In particular, a BS who has fully left, separated and clearly stated he does not want to recover.

Since i'm the one in the situation here I thought I might just chip in with what's ACTUALLY happened. My BS has never used the word divorce NOR has he displayed a strong desire to.

With all the delays and equivocations and backtracking demonstrated over quite a while now by this adulteress, I don�t think she is serious about her BH. Maybe she is just playing some sort of a game for eventual child custody. Adulterers in general do this sort of thing all the time. Including mine.

***EDIT***

Thanks for your support MaritalBliss. I was just deciding whether or not to reply to this this post, but honestly my time/effort is not going to go into 'fighting' with someone like this. At least we know the source of the bitterness.

Rightho, off to purchase new Simcard!

If you ever had any contact with OM on FB, shut down your Facebook account and tell your husband to contact you through email.

Oh, baloney. Totally wrong, and glaringly exposes your bias. Read the whole thread for complete context, Aphelion. Sheesh. They are not divorced, Aphelion. They are married. Hope remains from a very committed poster who wants to recover her marriage. That should be our goal for her. What is your goal for her? Her husband has not filed for divorce and has made no indication that he plans to do so.

Have you read something from this poster to acknowledge that her H ready to divorce? Until you have, you are OUT OF LINE and are not contributing to the recovery of this marriage.

Thanks Maritalbliss. FB is such a timewaster anyway.

I'm quite excited! Just figured out how to change my cell number online... all done!

Drafting a new letter to my H now that stipulates my EP's and will have the NC letter/envelope enclosed.

Re-posting this for Aphelion.

***EDIT***

***EDIT**

BV, reposting this to your consideration. Could you just please use a different colour and put a yes/no behind my questions.

What makes me worried is that you don't see that threats are all around you and you don't see yourself as a threat to other people. Do you really think that this particular OM is now a non-threat? Or that since you've decided to fight for your marriage you are also a non-threat to other married people?

Let me explain.

1. this particular OM is connected to other people you know and information can easily go back and forth and without you knowing it you already think about him. It is not physical contact, which would be a dealbreaker here, but you have to realise that there is a mental contact as well, and THAT doesn't help you a bit but causes you to drag your feet, like you've done so far. It boils down to the fact that you have to stop socialising with people who might have a slightest connection to him. You have to plug those holes from where you might get a tiniest bit of information about him. When you communicated with him through FB and are using it still (it doesn't matter that your reason is to use it only to communicate with your H), you need to shut it down for life.

2. being in the situation you are right now, you are vulnerable to yet another affairs. You are also a remaining threat to other married women and their families. Only your taken actions - extraordinary precautions will make you safe. So, EPs are important and the sequence of steps is also important.