She is FOGGY, she is still under the influence. You are taking her words as if she were a sane person, but she is not. She is very much a wayward and her whole mindset is influenced by this.

Now - have you told your daughter about this? What her mommy's been up to? Read the exposue 101 thread and there is also a section on how to tell children.

Just so you know, you may feel these to be facts, but they are none-the-less disrespectful judgements. You seem to be on the brink of a big decision to check out of the marriage; these statements are your justification for doing so. That's what DJ's do, they help us rationalize our negative behavior. I should know, I did the same thing. In retrospect I wish I hadn't. They weren't necessary. My wife was literally driving the marriage over a cliff and there wasn't much I could have done about it. I could have maintained my own integrity by standing up for myself and my family (through continued exposure, continued not tolerating her infidelity, continued eliminating my own LB's) and I would STILL have wound up divorced; which is probably what I wanted deep down. I could have tried to lead by example, and she still would have "followed her heart" and divorced me; like your wife, she had made up her mind and was not about to be drawn off track by me or some hokey internet website philosophy (she even was in cahoots with our Marriage counsellor who compared MB to Dionetics, without reading one word of what MB had to offer).

Recon is so right, though. You are listening to an insane person. Take it for what it is. The more you try to argue with her backwards logic, the more you will make yourself crazy. Stick with the facts and the information you have here.
Fight for you marriage and your baby girl. Continue to give the good fight and maintain your own upright posture. I wish I had done more of that; various things wouldn't haunt me so much now. Be honest about your feelings on divorce and that you want to have a great marriage and that you believe it is possible with her if she would join you in your efforts with marriage builders. in the meantime you will not entertain any fantasy divorce plans she might have, nor will you tolerate further abuse in the form of disgusting behaviors like adultery. You made a commitment when you said your vows and nothing in that commitment said you would tolerate her degrading your and undermining your worth in this world. If she wants to behave like a scumbucket, it will have to be on her time AFTER she has pursued and acquired the divorce. Until then, you're standing for your marriage.

opt

Don't be so sure. People risk life and limb literally for their affairs. They are just as dishonest as your wife is right now. They are truly the lowest form of human life on the planet.
All I hear in the above is "I have to get this guy off my trail so I can keep banging his wife"

Yes I have told her, i'll keep waiting for the fog to clear.

RCX,

you can help your wife to defog. For starters look at this section of Dr Harley's materials: Steps to Recover from an affair

Order the book "Surviving an Affair" by Dr Harley immediately.

Please read the extraordinary precautions' thread I posted you couple of posts ago and press on category 1 items. She needs to go NC with this man + this bunch of friends and plug the holes that led her to have an affair.

She is not that unique of a wayward, all waywards ARE childish, immature, waiting for some sort of epiphany, very egoistic, etc. The rules how to deal with them are also quite the same.