Well i'm pretty sure everyone including him would laugh at that... it's just too soon when he hasn't committed to trying to reconcile.

I'm not sure, he hasn't exactly receprecated (sorry can't spell) and provided his passwords.

I could ask my friend who heard the gossip to see what else she could find out?

It's so horrible because i don't want to be accused of snooping when deep down i do trust him... or at least 6 months ago before all of this i did...

Listen to this.
Another excellent radio clip on Dr. Harley explaining forgiveness compared to just compensation.

Radio Clip explaining Just Compensation

MBers don't trust - they verify!

If you 'get accused of snooping' simply say your marriage is everything and you love him and don't want to lose him. Tell him you can always be trusted to watch out for him where vultures are concerned.

Just cause he isn't all in doesn't mean you can't say you are. In fact its vital you do.

Thanks. I will see what i can find out.

any ideas for how to snoop when you don't live together?!?

Well, I'd go back to your friend and try to find the source for this gossip. Where/what/who has been seen - or heard and from whom. She seems to have the inside track. This might give you some tips on where to start.

What do yours and hubbys FB relationship status' say? I take your point about not going OTT with a public declaration of love at this stage, but I would try to find some way of marking your territory. Can you change your profile pic to one of you and him doing something together recently? Then just make a habit of liking stuff he says and then chiming in, using the 'we' word. Stuff like 'remember when we did that hon?' Obviously if you do too much of that it will be OTT, but a sprinkling of it could keep you within the bounds of not scaring him, while sending a clear message to others.

I'd just do some low kew snooping at this stage and ramp it up as and when necessary. I'd start off with checking things add up, for example. These few days away for a start - where is he going? Why? Its fine to show an interest and ask isn�t it? Then verify the truth of what you're being told for yourself.

Mine says 'married'... he has just deleted his... it doesn't say anything :-(

I am def marking my territory, liking everything and commiting as well. I make sure i like everything that this OM likes... pref before her but sometimes i'm not fast enough. GRR.

Have asked my friend for more info so we'll see.

BTW - He knows about this thread (although he doesn't have th elink he will prob remember what my name was from back in Sept) so could easily be reading along - which i'm fine with :-)

Why don't you go on FB and thank your H for 'a fantastic, romantic weekend'? "I loved it - thank you for giving me your 'special gift' (wink wink)"

I think that would just make him angry at this point. I think he's being pretty wary about what he tells his mates about whats happening... and i kinda feel like that would be disrespectful of his not yet deciding that he's giving me another chance.

My plan (the optimistic one) is that when we get back together we will either have a joint FB a/c or not at all. Only way forward i believe.

Read all ur posts my story is so like yours. It was very helpful am much more hopeful now. Going through the same situation but the difference is we still in the same house and share the same room. It's all coming through as he is a very social guy and from the society we come from D is not an option . My daughter has played a very important role in repairing the situation. As when he brings it up and taunts and we don't speak for days she clearly tells him it affects her and she wants her happy home back and he has to stop thinking about the past. He keeps getting bouts but I give him all credit whatever the reason maybe he is trying, so keeping my fingers crossed.

I would highly recommend against tell the (FB) world what it is you are only just working up the courage to tell your BH.

He's going to be as skittish as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, until HE makes up his mind about what he believes is his best path.

You want to "thank" him for the weekend? Do it woman-to-man, okay?

Thats NG... i agree completely. Also H is quite a private person when it comes to things like that so it would put him off.

women-to-man sounds good to me :-)

That's fantastic RH and it would be cool if he was taking an interest.

I think you're hitting the right note with FB. It would be weird and uncaring if you sat back and let her 'like' everything and not say anything yourself. But what you're saying about his not commiting himself publicly yet, makes sense.

BV,

Did you get a chance to listen to this clip yet? If so, what did you think?

hmmm did i miss that when you posted it... mustve, sometimes i can't keep up with the posts on here!

Will listen in about an hour and let you know. thanks for the link :-)

P.s. how do you get all these links? Do you have to pay for it...?

That's my little secret. Just kidding.

Everything is free on the site and I get the articles from the article and Q&A sections.

Did I mention they're all free? Love it.

The radio clips are in the radio archives Radio Program

Um when i clicked on that it takes me through to options... 1 year for $49.95 which i guess is USD. I'm fully keen to pay that though... just can't afford it in this months budget! But... i can listen if someone else posts it up, which is kinda weird...

That is strange. There was another poster that was running into the same problem.

Try this. Radio Archives

Did that help?

Awesome!!!! I can't belive i thought i had to pay for it! That's fantastic, thanks so much BrainHurts!

Huge thanks for the link BH. Have listened to a few in last few days and plan to listen to alot more over the weekend.

Update, I'm flying back a day earlier this week. H is picking me up from airport and we are going to the movies together!

Also... he just emailed me and said he'd call tonight to talk about some stuff. Dun dun... now i'm nervous!

Oh good luck honey.