There is no evidence. Because nothing has ever happened.
I have a different question today. I checked our cell phone bill and she is texting a new guy in the middle of the night. Do I expose/confront or just move on with D and forget about it?
That all depends on what you are trying to accomplish.
I'll admit I have been hopeful that somehow, with a separation and some time and perhaps your ww would hit rock bottom and then pull her head out and seek treatment and maybe someday realize the grass is not greener on the other side of the text message.
But in the meantime you have a very real divorce to deal with and a custody battle to win. So far and at this point, your ww seems to have literally managed to commandier "all the cards." It's like you're playing poker with 1 card against 5.
It's confusing to answer a question like that for you because you haven't given us a lot of details about what you are after, just tending to give updates about your ww's latest diabolical action. As far as I know you're still sleeping in the same bed.
It seems to me that you have a classic situation where your lawyers are both taking advantage of your wife's vitriol and your being overwhelmed/incapacitated by your wife's very successful intimidation of you and domination of the situation. To me, they are the only ones who are going to win.
If this helps - "exposure" (not the best name in my view) is used to request assistance from friends and loved ones in your life who may be able to use their influence to get the WS to end their affair. It also serves to shed light onto a clandestine activity where darkness tends to be part of the allure.
Not saying anything about something you're aware of is, in my view, tacitly agreeing to the activity and essentially makes you an accomplis in the crime. This would be unacceptable in a MB marriage. However, you don't have a MB marriage; you're in an wayward/divorce situation. Legally, you may have to treat the information differently in interest of your self and your children.
As a 43 year old divorced male, I will admit I think it's best for the kids to try to restore/repair/rebuild a broken marriage. Ultimately, divorce is not desirable compared with loving marriage. I think you have a tremendous amount of work to do to restore your marriage, and unfortunately most of that work seems to lie in the court of your wife in terms of recovering from substance abuse and everything that comes along with an unhealthy lifestyle. Which leaves you with the unenviable task of being colosally patient (something I did not have), if you have any hopes of recovering the marriage.
Or their could be some miracle.
Your situation, because of the prodigious debt you seem to be racking up is untenable: work incessantly at recovering a shattered marriage with someone who is by all accounts insane (whether naturally or due to chemicals...or both), with only slim odds of success.
Or fight for a decent divorce settlement with money you don't have, building debt you probably will never recover from.
This is why I believe the only thing you have left is to live your life everyday striving for truth and integrity.
opt