Ok, so I have finished reading Surviving an Affair. What a wonderful book. The problem is, my WW doesn't want to read it. We did discuss and go through the emotional needs questionnaire. She says she will read it if I really want her to, but being less than enthusiastic is not very encouraging. I think she's embarrassed that I read it.

We have been spending a lot of time together the last few days. I haven't brought up the affair. She seems like she wants to be there for me, but with her I feel like she thinks it should just be business as usual. I just don't think she grasps the concept that just because she's two years out of the A doesn't mean that it's not all fresh and new for me because of the trickle truth.

I have been trying to focus on other things when the anger or resentment rears it's ugly head. I certainly don't take it out on her. When those feelings pop up I have used Qoheleth's suggestions and try to focus on the positive and meeting her needs. I guess the hardest thing for me is the indifference with which she looks at it.

As for removing the image of the two of them having sex There is a technique which I read about and it helped me a lot.
Think of something that makes you happy. In my case, it was my daughter on a swing. I can picture her smiling as she swings back and forth.

Then when the terrible images of your wife and POSOM come into your mind you yell STOP. And immediately think of that happy event.

It takes some time but you can stop your mind from entertaining these images.
Prayer also helped me

I would give her His Needs, Her Needs to read instead of SAA.

Lots of UA time = deposits in her love bank
Do not talk about the A. Talk about A = withdrawals for you, withdrawals for her, and OM will be on her mind

Do not be discouraged just because you don't see any outward signs yet. Right now the best she can do is choose to spend time with you at all, even though you know about the A.

My WW is completely indifferent right now as well. I am choosing to focus more on her choices/actions than her emotional state. Her choices/actions have been to inform me of her whereabouts and take other EPs, (which I've confirmed independently), dedicate a great deal of UA time to me, and has started sharing a few things (like music) with me that before were closed off.

I don't see any outward signs of remorse yet. But it's been 5 days since exposure. SAA says it'll take a month.

This may help.
Managing Memories and Dealing with Triggers

Also this.

Radio clip on flashbacks
Segment #2