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Wanted to wish everyone a happy weekend!

H and I are going to see our daughter this weekend for her 21st birthday in college town. smile

Ya'll hold the fort down!



"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

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Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
Wanted to wish everyone a happy weekend!

H and I are going to see our daughter this weekend for her 21st birthday in college town. smile

Ya'll hold the fort down!
Have fun.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Thanks, Brainy!!!
smile


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

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Well, last night was the anti-versary of the big blow up, my discovery EA was PA as well...and H leaving the house. I triggered kinda bad yesterday afternoon but I handled it well. I let H know (without bringing up past) and he was very sweet and kind last night. One thing that got me through was remembering a song that H sent me a few months ago, from him to me. smile It gives me strength!

Stay With You by the Goo Goo Dolls
These streets
Turn me inside out
Everything shines
But leaves me empty still
And I'll, burn this lonely house down
If you run with me
If you run with me

I'll stay with you
Walls will fall before we do
Take my hand now
We'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
I'll stay with you

Fooled by my own desires
I twist my fate
Just to feel you
But you, you turn me toward the light
And you're one with me
Will you run with me?

I'll stay with you
Walls will fall before we do
Take my hand now
We'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
I'll stay with you

Now come in from this storm
I taste you sweet and warm
Take what you need
Take what you need
From me

Wake up this world
Wake up tonight
And run with me
Run to me now

I'll stay with you
Walls will fall before we do
Take my hand now
We'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
I'll stay with you


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

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Glad to hear you made it through your antiversary SunnyD.

Aren't you from Texas? In that case, Boomer Sooner!!! smile

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Thanks, UW!

I do live in Texas. BUT...I'm FROM Florida. I'm a Gator through and through! smile

SO - I'll join you in the Boomer Sooner because I don't really care about the Longhorns. LOL



"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

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M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
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For those that are interested in the wellness plan I've embarked on, I got lab results back yesterday. I was very low in B12 and a few other things were off. It seems I have a thyroid disorder known as Hashimoto's disease. Your blood work can show normal levels of thyroid hormones but if certain antibodies are elevated (like mine) it means your thyroid is not functioning properly. Regular doctors often don't even look at this!

Low B12 and Hashimotos both have "low and slow" effects on the body: low mood, energy, libido, etc... It's very possible my bouts of depression & fatigue issues throughout the years have coincided with my fluctuating thryoid mechanisms - very interesting!

This "yeast cleanse" diet I am on should help stabilize the good stuff in my body and get rid of the bad stuff, so the thyroid can function better. The doc is upping my B12 intake with daily drops. I've been on the diet a week now and am feeling better already! Occasionally it's difficult but with my supplements I don't get cravings nearly as much as when I've tried to diet in the past. The right supplements really do help, I believe!

I also believe in a strong mind/body connection. I wish it hadn't taken me so long in life to learn about all this. BUT... I can say that about a lot of things. LOL



"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
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Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
Low B12 and Hashimotos both have "low and slow" effects on the body: low mood, energy, libido, etc... It's very possible my bouts of depression & fatigue issues throughout the years have coincided with my fluctuating thryoid mechanisms - very interesting!

..........................
I also believe in a strong mind/body connection. I wish it hadn't taken me so long in life to learn about all this. BUT... I can say that about a lot of things. LOL

I knew of someone back in the 70s 80s who accually treated depression with Vit B, and in my own experience it has done wonders also, diet and vitamin intake with the right amount of excersise = emotional and pyhsical health across the board.

There was an ancient Greek Philospher/doctor who said, "Let food be your drug"

Beats the anti-Ds the drug companies are pushing huh?

"You are what you eat, and become what you think", another light in the darkness too. But I can stand in the garage all day and think I am a car....Lol, you KWIM.


You sound good Sunny

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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
Low B12 and Hashimotos both have "low and slow" effects on the body: low mood, energy, libido, etc... It's very possible my bouts of depression & fatigue issues throughout the years have coincided with my fluctuating thryoid mechanisms - very interesting!

..........................
I also believe in a strong mind/body connection. I wish it hadn't taken me so long in life to learn about all this. BUT... I can say that about a lot of things. LOL

I knew of someone back in the 70s 80s who accually treated depression with Vit B, and in my own experience it has done wonders also, diet and vitamin intake with the right amount of excersise = emotional and pyhsical health across the board.

There was an ancient Greek Philospher/doctor who said, "Let food be your drug"

Beats the anti-Ds the drug companies are pushing huh?

"You are what you eat, and become what you think", another light in the darkness too. But I can stand in the garage all day and think I am a car....Lol, you KWIM.


You sound good Sunny

Sure does beat the drug-pushing!!!

Hmmm.... I need a new car. Maybe if I put one of our pumpkins in the garage and keep thinking IT will turn into a car, maybe it will!!! LOL

smile

Thanks, CP! I AM good. Good to see you!


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
S (18)
S (16)
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Yeah Sunny have been following your thread and all seemed well, you were handleing everything and things sounded good.

Plus others have been here helping and saying prolly the same thing I was thinking closly enough

So I see you every time you post Sunny, and your Hardworking H in my minds eye also, as I picture him sitting at a picnic table talking with you.

Glad you are keeping in touch

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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Yeah Sunny have been following your thread and all seemed well, you were handleing everything and things sounded good.

Plus others have been here helping and saying prolly the same thing I was thinking closly enough

So I see you every time you post Sunny, and your Hardworking H in my minds eye also, as I picture him sitting at a picnic table talking with you.

Glad you are keeping in touch

You know - all things considered, we have walked down the road of recovery fairly smoothly. An occasional curve here and there, but nothing not easily managed. My H IS very hardworking. Despite having a lot of responsibility on his plate with 3 of the 5 of us in college, he is giving and selfless.

We don't have a picnic table but he does do a great job talking to me when I bring anything to his attention. smile Hmmm... maybe we should get one!

Hope things are equally well with you, CP!


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
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S (16)
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My Original Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457141&page=1

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Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
We don't have a picnic table but he does do a great job talking to me when I bring anything to his attention. smile Hmmm... maybe we should get one!

Hope things are equally well with you, CP!

Yes things are looking up and getting better every day Sunny.

Lol musta been thinking about the picnic table at my daughters or sitting at it when I read your posts last year, that made me think of the picnic table.

Now let me see..If I put the pumpkins in the back yard and try to use them as a table......Nah there has to be better things to do than that.

I will be going back to colledge too it seems, after years of being capable, and offers, I am finally disabled so I cant work anymore like I used too.

And to think I had colledge prep in HS, and even had state funding to go to colledge because of problems from accidents with my legs when 12..but lol, figures me, I wanted to work and pay taxes...

Now the Drs told me 25 years later, after three trips to the hospital in three weeks because my problems..(too long to list), that They were not gonna let me go back to work..

Well writing on the wall. Will be funny cause unlike most people who come from rural hardworking professions and are forced to go to colledge and learn, I will enjoy it and have been looking forward to the days when I could teach again, as I have all my life, been a teacher and trainer, in some way in all the fields I have been in.

Its just another move, but really looking forward to it.


Just was funny last week, when I was talking to an employee of the Govt program that is going to find me work..the one that I refused to sponge off of 20 years ago and limped back to work on a bad leg to pay taxes and earn my way...They got snippy and started to tell me off, "Look I TOLD you what you have to do.."lol, and it really surprised me..but then...I imagine what they must deal with most of the day, and I understand.

But things are def looking up Sunny and for you too thats great

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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
We don't have a picnic table but he does do a great job talking to me when I bring anything to his attention. smile Hmmm... maybe we should get one!

Hope things are equally well with you, CP!

Yes things are looking up and getting better every day Sunny.

Lol musta been thinking about the picnic table at my daughters or sitting at it when I read your posts last year, that made me think of the picnic table.

Now let me see..If I put the pumpkins in the back yard and try to use them as a table......Nah there has to be better things to do than that.

I will be going back to colledge too it seems, after years of being capable, and offers, I am finally disabled so I cant work anymore like I used too.

And to think I had colledge prep in HS, and even had state funding to go to colledge because of problems from accidents with my legs when 12..but lol, figures me, I wanted to work and pay taxes...

Now the Drs told me 25 years later, after three trips to the hospital in three weeks because my problems..(too long to list), that They were not gonna let me go back to work..

Well writing on the wall. Will be funny cause unlike most people who come from rural hardworking professions and are forced to go to colledge and learn, I will enjoy it and have been looking forward to the days when I could teach again, as I have all my life, been a teacher and trainer, in some way in all the fields I have been in.

Its just another move, but really looking forward to it.


Just was funny last week, when I was talking to an employee of the Govt program that is going to find me work..the one that I refused to sponge off of 20 years ago and limped back to work on a bad leg to pay taxes and earn my way...They got snippy and started to tell me off, "Look I TOLD you what you have to do.."lol, and it really surprised me..but then...I imagine what they must deal with most of the day, and I understand.

But things are def looking up Sunny and for you too thats great

Well, you know - govt agencies are just so used to people that want to take the easy way. The easy way is for wimps! lol

I think you will have a blast going back to school! Sorry about the health issues though that are causing you to do so. I find it very stimulating to be in a classroom at my age. You really are much more interested in what's being taught than when you're 18 and just out of high school.

It's really good that you are doing planning on doing something though, rather than just resigning yourself to stay at home. My mom has done that these past years and seems to degenerate more and more each year - and she's not even that old! She's 9 years younger than my dad and he still works and can run circles around her. He's 82.

In fact, there's a man who works at my grocery store bagging groceries that just turned 91. I had a nice chat with him a few weeks ago because I am in there all the time. (With 2 teenage boys at home we go through a lot of groceries! LOL) He always seems so happy and he is so energetic - works faster than the teens. He told me that he didn't have to work - that after he first retired years ago he took some time off and stayed home. His doctor, he said, told him to get his booty back to work because he hadn't seem him that miserable in years - not even when he'd gotten divorced. He said he got the grocery job and has been doing it every day since.

Doesn't mean that everyone needs to have a job outside the home until they die - but I really do believe people need a reason to get out of bed in the morning and to feel like they are contributing and accomplishing things - at any age. There are different ways to accomplish that but it goes back to that mind/body connection. As my mom has let her mental health slip, there goes her physical health - and then her mental health - and then her physical health, etc... It's not pretty to watch. Sure wish she'd listen, but she doesn't.


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
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S (16)
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Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
Well, you know - govt agencies are just so used to people that want to take the easy way. The easy way is for wimps! lol

I think you will have a blast going back to school! Sorry about the health issues though that are causing you to do so. I find it very stimulating to be in a classroom at my age. You really are much more interested in what's being taught than when you're 18 and just out of high school.

It's really good that you are doing planning on doing something though, rather than just resigning yourself to stay at home. My mom has done that these past years and seems to degenerate more and more each year - and she's not even that old! She's 9 years younger than my dad and he still works and can run circles around her. He's 82.

In fact, there's a man who works at my grocery store bagging groceries that just turned 91. I had a nice chat with him a few weeks ago because I am in there all the time. (With 2 teenage boys at home we go through a lot of groceries! LOL) He always seems so happy and he is so energetic - works faster than the teens. He told me that he didn't have to work - that after he first retired years ago he took some time off and stayed home. His doctor, he said, told him to get his booty back to work because he hadn't seem him that miserable in years - not even when he'd gotten divorced. He said he got the grocery job and has been doing it every day since.

Doesn't mean that everyone needs to have a job outside the home until they die - but I really do believe people need a reason to get out of bed in the morning and to feel like they are contributing and accomplishing things - at any age. There are different ways to accomplish that but it goes back to that mind/body connection. As my mom has let her mental health slip, there goes her physical health - and then her mental health - and then her physical health, etc... It's not pretty to watch. Sure wish she'd listen, but she doesn't.

I with you on that easy way is for wimps lol

My Mom is 84 and lives by herself,still drives, and recently fell and broke her shoulder while she went out to bingo..Her energy level is incredable, and her attitude is also...just all around plesant and helpful and cheerful and worked all her life.

Yes staying connected to people is vital to how we stay functional and emotionally and mentally healthy. I need people, and if I did not have people to talk to, or at, I doubt I would last long, or at least I wouldn't want to be around anyways. We are social animals, and the more we socialize, the better off we are, and the longer we live.

Yeah looking forward to being that old guy on Campus and listening to my younger classmates make really stupid and funny asumptions and try to pry some opinions out of thier little minds...lol..just so I can paoint my finger at them as they start to mature, and I can call them opinionated too. Should be a blast.

Save the world? Nah grew up as a child in the 60s, watched them land on the moon, and was allways one of those technical guys who enjoyed science and the space program..Loved the social conscience of the 60s, while I worked for right wing farming folk /family very hard, studied very hard, and now lol,the state of this country..Well I guess we will see what I will do when I get there. Whatever it is, I hope its a busy job full of stress that I have deep breathing exercises and a flyrod and a good lake to de-stress in the afternoon..Im not giving up changing the world yet. Would be nice to see a ban on nuclear weapons huh?

maybe thats too high? No its not

Oh yeah staying at home is gonna drive me crazy if I dont get outta here soon...


I remember the other day what my 8th grade teacher taught us years ago about how the Russians would never bomb us because they needed our wheat and we had what they called, "Black earth", which would be destroyed in nuclear war...Yes the world would starve, and in her opinion, they wanted our wealth, and that was very much a part of it...

Funny LBJ was president then, the world has changed, but then again it hasn't people are still basically the same sheep looking for an angle, someway to outdo the joneses, to build a better mousetrap. The next big great amazing invention we wouldn't know what we would do without it...

We live in priveledged times, and not many of us see the priveledges we have, in the simple things.

Looking forward to that fly fishing in the afternoon and laughing about what my young schoolmates might have said that day as I go to sleep that night.

It sure is a good life

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A lot of deep and thoughtful insight there, CP. You're absolutely right: a lot of us forget just how many things we take for granted are privileges - not needs! I have to remind myself of that sometimes. We don't do any favors for our kids either, when we get them used to having a bunch of stuff without working for it.

That's really interesting about your 8th grade teacher! (And I'm impressed that you remember it. I can't remember a thing from 8th grade, lol.)

As for school - you know, at first I felt kinda self-conscious about being in classes with a bunch of 20 year olds. But, I've found that they really like me! lol. There's not a class that I've been in that some 20 year old has decided to befriend me in some way. When I've had to partner up in labs or for class projects or whatever, I always figured I'd end up with another older student in the class (there are a few of us) but that hasn't been the case. My lab partner in Biology I even pleaded with me to take Bio II with her so we could be lab partners again. (I did.) But you know, I am typically upbeat and friendly, without trying to act like I'm 20. I think that positivity draws people of any age.

Of course, I have kids their age so I can relate to them too.

You're right: it IS a good life!


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

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hi sunny. i've been thinking about you, especially knowing you were going towards that neighbourhood (do i have that right?) to visit with DD, combined with the AV. am very glad to hear all went fine, and that your H is such a star!

are you back at school now? i can't believe it's nearly november and xmas is right around the corner!

it was very interesting to read about your holistic doc. over here hoslitic medicine is very common. it's very hard to get a prescription for anything! even for yeast infections, you are likely to be told to get some all-natural yogurt and, um, put it there, lol!

i am trying the ground flax...so far, so good. i also take a multi & b complex & ...something else i can't think of right now, that the ground here lacks, so it's very low in our food. m... m... erm. i'm too lazy now to go upstairs and see what it is!

glad things are going well - hey, what happened with your speech?


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Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
That's really interesting about your 8th grade teacher! (And I'm impressed that you remember it. I can't remember a thing from 8th grade, lol.)

Oh yeah, I always tell my kids, "I have a mind like a steel trap, rusted shut", but they still laugh at that joke, even though Ive told it soo,,,many,,times,,lol

Yeah I remember her name too, the books i read at that age, and my friend says its wierd how I remember so many things from so long ago..the color of my friends clothes and events that many just don't remember. Everybody watching the TV when we walked on the moon. Heck I remember being 5 years old and taking my tricycle to my aunts, and getting my butt kicked by my Mom too. I can still picture it.

Yeah it will be great at school, after years of learning how smart I really am, and always assuming I knew nothing lol, and I was just a dumb loser lol, Yeah, thats a joke now.


Just yesterday I was explaining how I didn't want to be attractive anymore, because of all of the women it attracted, and how that went bad for me when I was younger. (Not tooting any horn but I used to be very attractive, and still am I guess to some, to me its just a measure of health, and thats not mental health, which to me means more).

He went on to tell me because I was attractive,(Yeah he did), The world would be open to me in so many ways....He said there would be plaenty of women, looking for a daddy...yeah I said I knew that, and remembered that too, from when I was in my 20s..Thats not news..thats olds.. been around since the beginning of time itself..

Heck I think that was my first wife...Even my first son knows that is true, he witnessed it first hand.

Think I will dress like a frumpy old guy, not work out and make sure my hair stays grey..so I can enjoy school, and learn something.

Then the mental patients will stay away from me at least.

I don't know, we shall see, its gonna be interesting to say the least...

"Older man on campus" Lol yeah " Old man looking to learn something" I like that better, than Older man who thinks pretends he knows it all...

ROFL


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Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
That's really interesting about your 8th grade teacher! (And I'm impressed that you remember it. I can't remember a thing from 8th grade, lol.)

Oh yeah, I always tell my kids, "I have a mind like a steel trap, rusted shut", but they still laugh at that joke, even though Ive told it soo,,,many,,times,,lol

Yeah I remember her name too, the books i read at that age, and my friend says its wierd how I remember so many things from so long ago..the color of my friends clothes and events that many just don't remember. Everybody watching the TV when we walked on the moon. Heck I remember being 5 years old and taking my tricycle to my aunts, and getting my butt kicked by my Mom too. I can still picture it.

Yeah it will be great at school, after years of learning how smart I really am, and always assuming I knew nothing lol, and I was just a dumb loser lol, Yeah, thats a joke now.


Just yesterday I was explaining how I didn't want to be attractive anymore, because of all of the women it attracted, and how that went bad for me when I was younger. (Not tooting any horn but I used to be very attractive, and still am I guess to some, to me its just a measure of health, and thats not mental health, which to me means more).

He went on to tell me because I was attractive,(Yeah he did), The world would be open to me in so many ways....He said there would be plaenty of women, looking for a daddy...yeah I said I knew that, and remembered that too, from when I was in my 20s..Thats not news..thats olds.. been around since the beginning of time itself..

Heck I think that was my first wife...Even my first son knows that is true, he witnessed it first hand.

Think I will dress like a frumpy old guy, not work out and make sure my hair stays grey..so I can enjoy school, and learn something.

Then the mental patients will stay away from me at least.

I don't know, we shall see, its gonna be interesting to say the least...

"Older man on campus" Lol yeah " Old man looking to learn something" I like that better, than Older man who thinks pretends he knows it all...

ROFL

You crack me up!

Nothing wrong with being attractive - it doesn't have to always attract loonies ya know!

As for thinking or pretending you know it all - I vacillate greatly at times between thinking I know everything to thinking I know nothing!


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

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And to transition from my last post into this one... right about now I feel I know nothing.

I'm really heartbroken. My daughter and her boyfriend broke up and I really thought they were meant to be. They seem so perfect for each other, even according to all the compatibility stuff I've read from Dr. H. I'm sad for her - and I'm even sad for him. Yes, they were young, but I thought they'd make it. She's only 21 and he's 25... but my DD has always been incredibly mature for her age.

The reason they broke up? Well, the short of it is that he has decided to extend his contract another year working over in Afghanistan where he's banking some major coin. DD did not want him to do so and said she couldn't do another year long distance. Then, to make matters worse, he said he was going to have to move back to his hometown when it was all said and done - and not return to college town, where she is. Initially she broke up with him over this Thursday night, even though she did not want to. She couldn't see how it would work.

H and I talked to her and H said it would not be a bad thing for her to focus on school and not worry about the dating thing - and why break up? Why not just take it a step at a time and see how it goes? She agreed to that and she and BF decided to take a few days and talk again. They did so last night. She and I had even talked about POJA and negotiating... I'd even sent her articles off the site here. Apparently, none of it mattered - they broke up anyway.

I'm really sad about this. Maybe I shouldn't be - but I am. I've been up all night concerned about it! We didn't like the idea of the age difference in the first place. He's a man, she's a college student. Now she's not going to want to go back to dating college boys.

Neither one of them had wanted to break up over this - felt they had a future together and all that. Yet, I can't help but think about this: if the two of them were in love, wild horses wouldn't keep them apart. They'd be too doped up to care too much about a year from now. Right??? And with that, I have to conclude that at least one of them is no longer in love. That's what long distance will do. Although, I have to say - timing is awfully weird on that. They just spent 3 incredible weeks together when he was home - did all kinds of romantic stuff... It's only been 2 weeks since he left for Afghanistan. We went to college town to see her and they were great together!

I don't know. I'm just really bummed about it. It sucks being a parent and caring so much sometimes. frown


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
S (18)
S (16)
Surviving and Thriving since November 2010 thanks to MB!
My Recovery Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538986#Post2538986
My Original Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457141&page=1

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For what it's worth, I think your daughter may have been pretty wise to break it off with him. Another year long distance would have been hard to sustain, and who knows how independent he might become being away for another year? There's a good chance that during that year, she might be able to build a relationship with someone closer that is even better for her.

As for the age difference -- Prisca and I are also four years apart. smile A lot of the good marriages that I have known have had a four year difference, actually.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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