Below is a letter to my FWH, who has not strayed again, but feel that he is only a drink or two away from the next "shoe" dropping. Note: 14 mos. sober til around mid Sept 2012.
I will provide more info if asked.
Thank you for any suggestions with letter.

Dearest Husband,
I am writing this letter to you with the heaviest of hearts and soul. I love you more than you can possibly understand. I have loved you from the night we met across that room, you with your oversized jacket and wonderful goatee. I�ve loved you through the first years together as parents, and I love you even now, with all the pain and suffering of the last 2 years.
I fear that our current situation is leading us to a place of irreparable damage, and in order to hold onto the tenuous love I have for you, I feel we must separate in order to maintain that love. I can no longer, without lasting damage to my psyche and heart, continue to aid & abet you in your quest to destroy all that I believe is worth anything in this world. If I truly believed I or the kids could be of any help to you in your quest to find out what you need and want in this life, I would stay. However, I truly believe that we are only enabling you to continue your self destructive behavior.
It is for these reasons that I ask for your cooperation in a complete separation and no contact. I ask that you pass along only pertinent child and financial information through an intermediary that I have asked to assist in this matter. ???? will be that person, and all info should be passed through them to me.
I ask that only in an extreme emergency, involving Son or Daughter should you contact me directly.
I can only hope and dream that what we started building after the debacle of 2011 can be re-started again, once you have worked through your addictions. I promised myself at the beginning of our recovery process that I would not stop trying as long as I believed that I had done everything in MY power to save our lives and love. I believe that I am at that point. I no longer believe there is anything more I can do to save us� it is now in your turn to drive the bus. You can choose to take the wheel or not. I will know through our intermediary when you are ready to fully take on that responsibility, through your actions.
With immense love and hope,
Your Wife

Are you going to give conditions to return? Complete a program? Are you in Alanon?

When is he leaving? Do you have an IM?

Yes, in the addendum to the PBL.
Yes in Alanon since July 2011
Have not finished my planning yet, meeting with attorney tomorrow hopefully.
I have several options for an IM, possibly even his sponsor in AA.

I guess, part of my post should've been if a Plan B is even warranted with an addict.
He met with our pastor today, has been to 3 meetings in 2 days.....
But been there, done that .

Have you seen what Dr. H says about alcoholics?
Alcoholic Spouse #1

What does his sponsor say?

Sorry BH, been crazy here. Yes, have read those articles over & over.
I've talked to an attorney, I know I can file within 2-3 days with a phone call.
FWH, when asked about wayward behaviors, deleting texts, hiding & lying, just starts the ever so tiresome gas lighting & defensiveness. Honestly, I'm physically & mentally too darn exhausted to do anything more today.
After last nights gas lighting, he sends me an email that seriously reads like one Kiss might write, just to give u an idea. But added that he was making an appointment with our counselor (MB friendly, since I know you will ask )
Thnx for listening, & a special thanks for all your efforts on this forum Brain Hurts!

You're welcome.

Well it sounds like you're making the right steps to get into Plan B.

Will you be able to get him out? Keep coming to the board and get direction. There is always someone who has been there done that and can give you wonderful direction.

Take a nice bath tonight and get your game plan tomorrow.

So here is my game plan:
FWH has made an appt with counselor for next Tuesday morning. I plan on telling him in the session, that I have started the paperwork and that I will be filing for D on Tuesday, Nov 13. I will only discuss the facts of the preceding 5 weeks, which is sufficient in my mind for filing.
I will then, zip my mouth & listen.
I truly doubt that much can be accomplished in the next 10 days to change my mind, I'm enough of an optimist to have a tiny shred of hope that the reality of me meeting with my attorney MIGHT smack some much needed reality...but like I said,.tiny shred...

My attorneys wise words were to not file in order to "scare" him, that I must really be ready to proceed. She said the D could be final in as little as 3 months.

I do have concerns/questions on how I will know if he has made the changes necessary, while in plan b. I've read everything on this site, ad nauseum, (I don't post much) but I just don't see how I could possibly REALLY know if he has changed if we are not together.

Definitely don't tell him you're going to file. That would enable him to file first.

In plan B your IM will know when he has met your conditions for recovery.

What are your conditions? Post them here first.

I would not tell him before you file. Mean what you say, and do what you say.

Ok, I hear you both, will not tell him first, so question becomes file before counseling session, or wait til after?
Will post my conditions later today.

Okay BH, since you are the keeper of the knowledge... Can u please link me some posts that contain conditions, I will look thru Rocket queens as her sitch is so similar to mine, but would truly appreciate your help.

Wow, right now, all I can say is you impress me!!!!!

ETA: My H has addictions, and I really am so grateful that you posted. I have been dragging my feet in filing for D. Thank you for sharing your story. I will follow it closely.

Here is an excellent one by Herpapabear to get you started and then we will add conditions for his alcoholism program. This is also the one that Rocketqueen used also, FYI.

Extraordinary Precautions

I will also give a shout out to nEsre because his WXW is an alcoholic also.

Hang tight, we will get your conditions together workit.

Don't get too impressed just yet! I doubt myself every 1/2 hour...

Well, that's ironic, since HPB's post was what I sent him 2 months ago to read, & just 2 weeks ago, post relapse & pre more lies, FWH setup those ep's as a
" calendar" item, to help him remember to be conscious of them daily, laughable , huh?!?!

Here's a radio clip I thought of you. Tell us what you think.

Radio clip on Falling off the Wagon

Great affirming info!! Thanks BH

I think FWH might be reading this thread, therefore I am on my own... Thanks for the support BH, wish me luck & prayers welcomed

We are here for you.