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Sbt - I understand how you feel very much. I lived with my WXW while she was going out and sleeping with whatever guy she could get her hands on. It was emotionally crippling and I understand just wanting to get away from that. Seeing and talking to her every day was awful. Your case is significantly worse.
Try to hang in there as best you can and live for getting to those court dates. Don't capitulate to the point where you lose your children just to escape your STBXW. That temporary relief is not worth the years you will punish yourself for giving up on the custody you and they deserve. Money is just a thing but your kiddos are infinitely more important. Hang in there buddy and keep posting.
Travis
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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You should get yourself a good physical hobby to deal with it, I think. It would help.
Running, or boxing, or something like that.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Well, I'm now only a couple weeks from trial. Papers and evidence are being traded and tension is high between us. I find myself second guessing everything. Every time I'm forced to comply with the divorce process she gets angry and I'm sure somehow blames me. Even though she filed and I'm forced to do this. I love my wife and hate this and find it difficult to sleep. I can't even tell you why I still feel this way. I have no reason to.
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SBT! thanks for checking in and updating. I've been wondering about you!
It's going to be a long couple of weeks. I hope you can take care of yourself; better days are ahead.
There is strength in the truth and doing what's right, even if it takes time for it to reveal itself. You will come out the stronger for all of this if you remain true to your principles.
I wish you well, sbt.
opt
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
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Sbt - I understand how you feel very much. I lived with my WXW while she was going out and sleeping with whatever guy she could get her hands on. It was emotionally crippling and I understand just wanting to get away from that. Seeing and talking to her every day was awful. Your case is significantly worse.
Try to hang in there as best you can and live for getting to those court dates. Don't capitulate to the point where you lose your children just to escape your STBXW. That temporary relief is not worth the years you will punish yourself for giving up on the custody you and they deserve. Money is just a thing but your kiddos are infinitely more important. Hang in there buddy and keep posting.
Travis I went through this too. Hang in there. Do not trust your wife. She is the enemy in divorce. Trust your attorney. During this time work out, improve yourself. Be relentless, like a shark in divorce. It's the fight of your life
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Well it's over. 6 day trial. Ugly. I was portrayed as a controlling, abusive, absent father. Now it all comes down to what one person, the judge, believes.
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Well it's over. 6 day trial. Ugly. I was portrayed as a controlling, abusive, absent father. Now it all comes down to what one person, the judge, believes. Pulling for you. Let us know what the outcome was.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I hope that you didn't allow yourself to be punching bag in the interests of Plan A.
Are you still living with the evil woman?
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Yes. We are still living together. I won't leave our kids. Either will she. Therefor we wait for the judges ruling so we have a custody determination and schedule.
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Any idea on when that ruling will take place?
Age - 35
Divorce Final - 3/5/12
S - 13
S - 10
D - 8
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30-90 days. Sad part is I still don't want this.
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30-90 days. Sad part is I still don't want this. 30-90 days. There is a lot that can happen in 30 days, whether it be for the good or for the further deterioration of the situation. What are your thoughts on giving the Marriage Builders program another try? opt
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
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30-90 days. Sad part is I still don't want this. 30-90 days. There is a lot that can happen in 30 days, whether it be for the good or for the further deterioration of the situation. What are your thoughts on giving the Marriage Builders program another try? opt I don't know how to do that. I believe she has a least a drinking problem and possibly and drug problem on top of that. I can't plan B because we don't have a custody arrangement. I have been in and out of plan A for three years, while she has has multiple boyfriends in addition the the possible drugs and alcohol. Not to mention the divorce trial.
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What was the outcome?
Who has custody?
Did you expose her drug and alcohol addictions?
Did te children have a Guardian ad litem?
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If she's an addict the best thing you could do for yourself is visit a local AlAnon meeting
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What was the outcome?
Who has custody?
Did you expose her drug and alcohol addictions?
Did te children have a Guardian ad litem? Yes. We are still living together. I won't leave our kids. Either will she. Therefor we wait for the judges ruling so we have a custody determination and schedule. He said it will be 30-90 before they get a ruling.
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What was the outcome?
Who has custody?
Did you expose her drug and alcohol addictions?
Did te children have a Guardian ad litem? 30-90 days before we know anything. There is no temporary custody arrangement. We still all live in the same house. I exposed the drugs and alcohol as best as I could. They tried to discredit everything. "You poured out the vodka before taking pictures", "You were invading her privacy" (a shot at investigating As by the way), "She couldn't drink that much and still function", "You can't prove those liquor store purchases were hers" and on and on and on.
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If she's an addict the best thing you could do for yourself is visit a local AlAnon meeting I've been to alanon and will go back.
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Alcoholism is a progressive disease.
She WILL get worse.
So keep that in mind. No matter what happens this round,
She WILL get worse.
You just need to ensure you are always there for your kids
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What was the outcome?
Who has custody?
Did you expose her drug and alcohol addictions?
Did te children have a Guardian ad litem? 3 posts up from yours he said this. 30-90 days. Sad part is I still don't want this.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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