I think FWH might be reading this thread, therefore I am on my own... Thanks for the support BH, wish me luck & prayers welcomed

How do you know?

I don't know for sure...just a feeling. He was a mess yesterday...passed out all day, obviously after his meeting (ironic) he got stoned & plastered.

My kids are the ones that will suffer the most. 10 & 13, and this is going to completely blindside them. Prayers for my kids, we do have a great support in our church. Will get their youth pastors involved.

Below is a letter to my FWH, who has not strayed again, but feel that he is only a drink or two away from the next "shoe" dropping. Note: 14 mos. sober til around mid Sept 2012.
I will provide more info if asked.
Thank you for any suggestions with letter.

Dearest Husband,
I am writing this letter to you with the heaviest of hearts and soul. I love you more than you can possibly understand. I have loved you from the night we met across that room, you with your oversized jacket and wonderful goatee. I�ve loved you through the first years together as parents, and I love you even now, with all the pain and suffering of the last 2 years.
I fear that our current situation is leading us to a place of irreparable damage, and in order to hold onto the tenuous love I have for you, I feel we must separate in order to maintain that love. I can no longer, without lasting damage to my psyche and heart, continue to aid & abet you in your quest to destroy all that I believe is worth anything in this world. If I truly believed I or the kids could be of any help to you in your quest to find out what you need and want in this life, I would stay. However, I truly believe that we are only enabling you to continue your self destructive behavior.
It is for these reasons that I ask for your cooperation in a complete separation and no contact. I ask that you pass along only pertinent child and financial information through an intermediary that I have asked to assist in this matter. ???? will be that person, and all info should be passed through them to me.
I ask that only in an extreme emergency, involving Son or Daughter should you contact me directly.
I can only hope and dream that what we started building after the debacle of 2011 can be re-started again, once you have worked through your addictions. I promised myself at the beginning of our recovery process that I would not stop trying as long as I believed that I had done everything in MY power to save our lives and love. I believe that I am at that point. I no longer believe there is anything more I can do to save us� it is now in your turn to drive the bus. You can choose to take the wheel or not. I will know through our intermediary when you are ready to fully take on that responsibility, through your actions.
With immense love and hope,
Your Wife

Well I am in plan B, very sad & very disappointed. We told the kids together Monday nite with a church deacon as support. D is filed, he should be served today.
I will admit that I had truly hoped that this would bring him to his knees.....
Guess not. It might at a later date, but I know he's brain is still in the addict mode.
Waywards, addicts, they are all the same. Will keep telling myself:
... I cannot control his actions, only my own
... What he has said is only the addict talking, it is not my fault. I didn't cause it, I can't control it, & I can't cure it.
...let go & let God

I keep repeating these over & over. I am also praying for my H. My attorney said I needed the anger, nope, been there done that & have #30 less pounds to show for it. The prayers for him keep the anger at bay

Well I am in plan B, very sad & very disappointed. We told the kids together Monday nite with a church deacon as support. D is filed, he should be served today.
I will admit that I had truly hoped that this would bring him to his knees.....
Guess not. It might at a later date, but I know he's brain is still in the addict mode.
Waywards, addicts, they are all the same. Will keep telling myself:
... I cannot control his actions, only my own
... What he has said is only the addict talking, it is not my fault. I didn't cause it, I can't control it, & I can't cure it.
...let go & let God

I keep repeating these over & over. I am also praying for my H. My attorney said I needed the anger, nope, been there done that & have #30 less pounds to show for it. The prayers for him keep the anger at bay

[quote=HDW]
Do you attend AlAnon?
If not I strongly encourage you to visit a meeting.
They can teach you how to emotionally detach from your husband. [/

Yes, have since the day he entered treatment 16 mos. ago.
Haven't been lately, though I have talked to sponsor. But attribute the little bit of sanity I have left to AlAnon principles.
Knew you, HDW, would ask me this. I've followed your story. How did you get thru the feelings of inadequacy? That's my challenge today, (warning!! Pity party coming up) feeling like he never loved me, or wouldn't he be on his knees right now?? I now get this is the challenge of Plan B, not knowing what is going on with the other person.

And to answer BH, yes he moved out, I have an IM, and H is following my addendum pretty much to the T, which has oddly hurt more than him trying to break Plan B. make sense ??

I too, believe both AlAnon & MB were a gift from God. I know time will help, but holy bat wings this hurts, almost as much as initial betrayal.
The first time I walked into the room, the slogan "This too shall pass" w in my direct line of sight, my amazing mom used to say that all the time, she had just passed 5 mos. previous to that. It is one of my favorites.