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My wife and I have been together 22 years and have 3 kids, 23, 15, 12 we have what seemed to me to be a good marriage and we always trusted each other. Early this summer we found out my wifes father had colon cancer and later liver cancer. My wife was devastated and began spending every weekends at her folks house, which is about 75 miles away. After a month or two she started to seem distant from me and by last September she told me she doesn't love me anymore like she should love her husband! She then cuts off all personal contact with me and starts talking less and less to me. A couple of weeks later I discover she has started an affair with a guy she grew up with that is living next to her parents. A couple of months have gone by now and she seems totally in love with him. She constantly texts him and talks to him on the phone and goes to see him every weekend leaving the kids and I at home. She also filed for divorce and is moving into an apartment in January. I bought the book His Needs Her Needs and it describes our problems to a tee and I know she is also reading it.
The problem I face now is she is building a bond with him and avoiding me. She tells me she is confused and needs space ! I tell her I love her and what to talk etc... But she shuts me out! What can I do to get her back and stop her affair?
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My wife and I have been together 22 years and have 3 kids, 23, 15, 12 we have what seemed to me to be a good marriage and we always trusted each other. Early this summer we found out my wifes father had colon cancer and later liver cancer. My wife was devastated and began spending every weekends at her folks house, which is about 75 miles away. After a month or two she started to seem distant from me and by last September she told me she doesn't love me anymore like she should love her husband! She then cuts off all personal contact with me and starts talking less and less to me. A couple of weeks later I discover she has started an affair with a guy she grew up with that is living next to her parents. A couple of months have gone by now and she seems totally in love with him. She constantly texts him and talks to him on the phone and goes to see him every weekend leaving the kids and I at home. She also filed for divorce and is moving into an apartment in January. I bought the book His Needs Her Needs and it describes our problems to a tee and I know she is also reading it.
The problem I face now is she is building a bond with him and avoiding me. She tells me she is confused and needs space ! I tell her I love her and what to talk etc... But she shuts me out! What can I do to get her back and stop her affair? Welcome to MB and sorry for what has brought you here. Is this OM married? Read this Exposure 101 You need to fight for your marriage and kill the affair? Does she work? Who pays for her cell bill?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Dec 2012
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The other guy is single he's been divorced 3 times. He is living in his parents lake house and is about to go on disibility from the Post Office with back problems.
My wife is a special Ed teacher and loves her job that is what's keeping her here.
We have separated our money and split all bills at the house. I'm staying with my parents for niw
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Have you exposed the A?
If D has been filed, have you responded and cited her A in your Answer?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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And move back to your house.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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The other guy is single he's been divorced 3 times. He is living in his parents lake house and is about to go on disibility from the Post Office with back problems.
My wife is a special Ed teacher and loves her job that is what's keeping her here.
We have separated our money and split all bills at the house. I'm staying with my parents for niw Get your exposure list together. Did you read the exposure thread? And move back home. Read this. Men Do Not Leave your Home
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I've exposed her affair! Her famy knows and are furious and devastated she feels guilt and ashamed but they continue see each other and talk and text. They wouldn't let him come to their Thanksgiving but she saw him later that evening!
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Joined: Jun 2008
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BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 42
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She won't bring him to our home because he lives too far away from us. She is fine with going up there. I left because I can't sleep at night there! I also can't stand to see how pretty she looks when she gets ready to go up there for the weekend!
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They know but are confused my 15 year old son knows but doesn't want to talk about it. My 12 year old daughter has seen them together and wasn't happy. Her mom said they were just friends. She's confused but knows the truth I believe
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My approach right now is trying to get her to be my friend again and open up to me via texts and talking. I'm trying to gain more of her time and emotions.
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I've exposed her affair! Her famy knows and are furious and devastated she feels guilt and ashamed but they continue see each other and talk and text. They wouldn't let him come to their Thanksgiving but she saw him later that evening! Whom did you expose to on OM's side? You need to get to his parents. Have you asked her family to put pressure on her to stop the affair? Have they told her to her face how disappointed they are? You need to get this OM away from her. Can you go to her folks with her?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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My approach right now is trying to get her to be my friend again and open up to me via texts and talking. I'm trying to gain more of her time and emotions. If she has you and OM meeting her needs why would she want to quit that? An understanding Husband and a boyfriend? You must demand she end her affair. Do you live in a fault state? Fight sir, fight for your marriage.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Get the book Surviving an Affair. Read it and follow it. Listen to the vets here, they can give you great advice on saving your marriage.
Your WW is in a foggy fanatasy land, bring the light of truth to pull her out of it.
I'm a BH as well, and know how you feel.
Me (BH): 42
Her (WS): 39
Married 19 yrs
DD: 16, DD: 11, DD: 7
D-Day: 7-5-2011, Caught searching 10-15-2012
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No fault state. They don't care about affairs
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I don't really know the guy and dont know how to reach his parents they are in Florida for the winter
Her parents are telling her no but she carries on inspite of their efforts. They are leaving for Florida in 2 weeks they want to get away the cancer is enough for them to deal with
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I don't really know the guy and dont know how to reach his parents they are in Florida for the winter
Her parents are telling her no but she carries on inspite of their efforts. They are leaving for Florida in 2 weeks they want to get away the cancer is enough for them to deal with Does OM have a facebook? Can you look him on intellus.com or peoplefinder.com?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 42
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She is reading His Needs Her Needs right now and it describes us to a tee. Should I let her finish before I go after her to end it? She'll be done in about a week
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Couldn't find him on there:(
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Here's another good site. Findoutthetruth.com
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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