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Couldn't find him on there:( You have his phone number correct?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jun 2008
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Trying to be her friend and leaving your house are bad moves. WW will run you over and you are making it easy for her to do that. Be her husband and get back into your house.
What are your children confused about? I understand they may not want to talk about it, but do they know specifically that she is having an affair with this guy? That she is having sex with him? Has this been made clear by you or not?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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She is reading His Needs Her Needs right now and it describes us to a tee. Should I let her finish before I go after her to end it? She'll be done in about a week Do you really want to wait until this gets more entrenched and more physical? I'm sure when her parents are gone for two weeks she plans all sort of "plans" with him. Why are you sitting back and not fighting for your bride? Carrot and Stick of Plan A
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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They know but are confused my 15 year old son knows but doesn't want to talk about it. My 12 year old daughter has seen them together and wasn't happy. Her mom said they were just friends. She's confused but knows the truth I believe I am not clear how her mom believes they are just friends if you have exposed to her. Did you tell her mom they were having an affair? Did you really expose the affair? And have you been to his parents and exposed the affair to his family? Does the OM have a facebook page?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
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She is reading His Needs Her Needs right now and it describes us to a tee. Should I let her finish before I go after her to end it? She'll be done in about a week Can you hide the book from her? That is the wrong book for her to be reading. She should be reading Surviving an Affair. And reading the books won't motivate her to end her affair anyway. What will motivate her - if anything - is a real exposure. This affair is so entrenched and has been so ENABLED that it will be tough to kill.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
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She won't bring him to our home because he lives too far away from us. She is fine with going up there. I left because I can't sleep at night there! I also can't stand to see how pretty she looks when she gets ready to go up there for the weekend! It would be better to go home and get her legally removed. Go home and change the locks. Make her move out.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2010
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They know but are confused my 15 year old son knows but doesn't want to talk about it. My 12 year old daughter has seen them together and wasn't happy. Her mom said they were just friends. She's confused but knows the truth I believe I am not clear how her mom believes they are just friends if you have exposed to her. Did you tell her mom they were having an affair? Did you really expose the affair? And have you been to his parents and exposed the affair to his family? Does the OM have a facebook page? Mel, He means the mother of his DD12 (his WW). He has told her parents, whom live next door to OM, and they are upset, but are leaving for 2 weeks. He said he can't find OM on facebook and hasn't contacted his family. We've been giving him other ideas to track OM's family down.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 387
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She is reading His Needs Her Needs right now and it describes us to a tee. Should I let her finish before I go after her to end it? She'll be done in about a week  Tell her how much this is hurting her family. Do what you can do to find other man. Do you know where he works? Expose... And read SAA.
Me (BH): 42
Her (WS): 39
Married 19 yrs
DD: 16, DD: 11, DD: 7
D-Day: 7-5-2011, Caught searching 10-15-2012
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ahhhh, so the WW was ALLOWED to lie to the kids about the affair? Nice!
tdf, you have done alot of enabling here, my friend. It doesn't sound like you are too serious about saving your marriage to me. You abandon your home and allow your wife to lie to your kids about her affair? That does not help anything.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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She is reading His Needs Her Needs right now and it describes us to a tee. Should I let her finish before I go after her to end it? She'll be done in about a week Tell her how much this is hurting her family. Do what you can do to find other man. Do you know where he works? Expose... And read SAA. The OM lives next door to WW's parents. WW travels every weekend to stay with parents. Trying to get him to find OM's parents so he can expose.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Does that piece of crap, OM have a facebook page?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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ahhhh, so the WW was ALLOWED to lie to the kids about the affair? Nice!
tdf, you have done alot of enabling here, my friend. It doesn't sound like you are too serious about saving your marriage to me. You abandon your home and allow your wife to lie to your kids about her affair? That does not help anything. Thanks Mel we needed your big guns here. Trying to get him to find OM's parents/family to expose to. 
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 387
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Listen to Mel and BH.... They know what they are talking about.
Me (BH): 42
Her (WS): 39
Married 19 yrs
DD: 16, DD: 11, DD: 7
D-Day: 7-5-2011, Caught searching 10-15-2012
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If it were me I would be getting my [censored] in my car right now and driving to this POS's house and get in his FACE! It's not like you don't know where this POS lives.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Does that piece of crap, OM have a facebook page? Said he can't find him there.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108 |
If D has been filed, have you responded and cited her A in your Answer? You did not answer this question. Have you responded and if so, did you cite her adultery?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Posts: 5,860
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You need to spell it out in black and white to your kids that your wife their mom is having an affair with the OM. Tell them who the OM is and their mom is dating and having sex with the OM.
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 42 |
It's a no fault state and they don't ask or care
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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It's a no fault state and they don't ask or care tdf, this affair has gone very far but you do have a chance of saving this if you can follow a plan. Can you follow a plan? So far, you have contributed to the destruction of your marriage by enabling your wife. Your complacence and lack of fight has given her the impression that you don't care very much. In many states, judges frown on husbands who abandon their families. I understand how traumatic this is, but I just want you to understand that you have made some strategic mistakes that have made the situation worse. We can help you turn this around if you are willing to follow a plan. There are no guarantees but you are guaranteed to lose if you don't try to turn this around. Would you follow a plan if we took the time to give it to you?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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