It's flat out hilarious that she expects anything from me right now. I'm just her husband, though. I have a recorder also. She will tell me she doesn't want to talk about it (that's what she's always done), then start screaming at me (because she is riddled with shame and guilt), then start throwing things (just a hunch), then start throwing up (because of all the shame and guilt), and then finally she will leave (because she can't cope)
If my wife knew me half as much as i knew her, this isn't what would be happening

She'll yell and throw things until she throws up???

I thought people stopped doing that when they were four.

Boy she sure is in full "get him to stop questioning!!!" mode.

Yeeeppp. She just told me via text that she's filing papers this week. I called her and told her to call me when she has a minute. She called and oh boy, she's pissed.

She is angry because "you called all my friends and all my family and *$&% talked me all over. I'm done! I'm not talking to you about anything but the bills and our stuff, thats it!"

I told her that guilt hurts and she says she has absolutely nothing to be guilty about. You know what.......I quit. It's just not worth it to me right now. I lost her a long time ago. She lost herself, really.
Too bad, 'cause she's gonna miss me when i'm gone.

That is typical babble about exposure. Don't chat about your exposing, just offer a potato chip and say something along the lines of "I am willing to do whatever it takes to recover our marriage"

Are you quite sure that you are ready to quit?

Right now, your feelings are going to be all over the board. One moment, you will want to work it out at all costs, and the next, you'll regret even marrying her. That's why you should plug along with MB plans until your emotions are more level. This way, you will KNOW that you did all that you could, and you can move on without any regrets.

Spun,

Commit to not making any life changing decisions for 4 weeks. This will give you time to sort through your thoughts and time for her rage to die down. Keep on exposing, it's like water on a flame.... It will kill it eventually.

Stay strong. Prayers for you and yours.

Yeah, and moving on is gonna be hard too. But you owe it to yourself..

Stick with it here, because you are not alone, in this crazy crap that you are experiencing..

Be very careful, and make sure everything is recorded and documented, because it will be nessesary for your protection..

I quit because she's irrational. I quit because she "doesn't care". I quit because the only thing i care about right now is me. I need to be away from her for awhile. I'm flat wore out on getting a finger poked in my chest by my wife of all people. And she is bat *$%& crazy, that's how things are the way they are now. I'm done blaming myself for anything.

I did laugh at her reaction, because it's laughable. I can play dirtier than you, wife. One thing i won't take is dishonesty. Everybody acts so shocked when i tell them about a posOM being allowed in my marriage. WAKE UP EVERYBODY, WIFE HAS ISSUES AND NOBODY CARES. So at least now when i feel alone, I can BE alone. I feel better right now than I have in 2 weeks. I'm not making any effort to contact my wife whatsoever at this point. When she wants to talk, I'll listen and hear nothing. When she wants to listen, things will change.

Tomorrow I'm seeing a psychologist that my doc referred me to. A woman pshychologist no less. Probably a good thing. I have a lot of buried ^&%$ to get out of me and I hope this helps.
My support system is strong, i'm really lucky. Love my people. Everybody here has given me good advice, and i greatly appreciate it. You all know how I'm feeling, it ain't good and I wish nobody to feel what I feel. Straight kicked in the gut. Seems like all I hanging onto right now is my pride and I'm losing my grip.

I will dig up my thread after I have contact with my wife. She's a full blown mess right now and there's no way in he11 I can get through to her in any way right now. So I'm checkin' out. The road to nowhere is better left untraveled for me right now. That's the way I see it.

MB not only helps betrayed spouses recover their marriage, it also helps them recover personally. I would know.

I understand your pain, and your reaction. This is a real blow. Before you leave MB, why don't you take a look around at other people's stories, GJM, Marksay, etc. Men whose marriages ended in a divorce, but they tried MB full on, and can move forward without an ounce of regret, and have learned how to be better husbands to their future wives.

And even if you do decide to quit, you can get lots of helpful advice here on lawyers and such. Deciding to divorce doesn't mean we can't help.

I encourage you to stick with either plan a or plan b.
You can leave in plan b and never talk to her.

In business we have to have plans for everything in order to survive.
The same applies in this situation

Thank you Scotland. That is my life goal right now. I want me back, and while i'm getting me back i will improve myself in the process. I am at a point where I feel as if i've never had a chance with my wife. The first negative thing that went down in our relationship lit a fire that i still can't extinguish. Fight or Flight? You see here who the fighter is. It's sad. She's a good woman when she chooses to be, she's far from it right now. She can't be talked to. when she's confronted, she leaves. I'm not going to chase her. I'm at my breaking point, I need to rest my thoughts, regroup, and focus on myself for a bit. I haven't had a chance to do that in a long, long time. I need it, i deserve it and I want it. I have lost a large bit of myself that I need back and i'm goin' to get it.

lol i am definately on to plan B!

If you're going to enter Plan B, do it right.

The first vital step is the writing of a Plan B Letter, or PBL. Think of it as a love-letter to the darling your wife formerly was, while simultaneously a goodbye to the wretch your wife currently is.

I am not an expert at Plan B, never having had to go into one. There are experts here, and examples of PBL's on this site, or readily provideable by colleagues.

MB is the site to help married folks recover from the damages of infidelity. The best "recovery" could be Plan B morphing into Plan D for you. Stay here with us to ease your path.

There was a caller very similar to you on today's Radio Show. Minus his kids.

His wife had depression and Dr Harley explained the challenges that poses in a marriage. He said both partners must be mentally and physically healthy for the marriage to thrive.
He explained chronically depressed people will often self medicate with alcohol, drugs or affairs to get a quick feeling of good.

I went back and couldn't find this and so if I missed it I apologize.

Whom did you expose to on OM's side?

I watched my wife go through hell with the self medication. It DAMAGED me as far as our relationship went. Adivan + a bottle of red = (fill in the blank). I was coming home to a comotose wife. I tried so hard to get through to her in the nicest ways possible. Having to talk to a grown adult like they're a child is not right. I have never felt so alone in my life. It was an extremely difficult situation for me to handle. I couldn't handle it, really. She has been diagnosed as suffering from depression/anxiety, but i believe there is alot more to it then that. She responds very poorly to every medication she has been prescribed......here i go again
I want you all to know that i'm not leaving the site. I have found you all to be good hearted and helpful. I hate that i'm here, but at the same time i'm very happy to have found you.
I had dinner with my folks. They helped remind me that i'm a good man with a big heart and that i deserve the best that life has to offer. They are proud of who i am. They remind me of all of these things that my wife has been sucking out of me. I love my wife with all i have, and i don't like saying isn't much right now. She is going to a place that i don't choose to go right now and i will worry about her always. I honestly don't see her squashing her demons without help from the people that love her, which in my view means me. Scares me that she's running from the sole person in her life that has genuinely cared for her

Just remember, that it is not selfish to pursue this, and is the purpose of every marriage, with guidance..

Us men are challenged all the time, and sometimes we are suckers that try to be the Knight in Shining armor..

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders..Stick around and be improved.

"Guard your heart, out of it come the issues of life."

This crap strikes at our very core..

Spun, Plan B will be good for you as it removes you from the drama and allows you to focus on your personal recovery.