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Radio clip on a wife and husband both having affairs
Segment #2
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TY brainhurts. I listened to all the clips. My H is finally starting to open up and talk to me. He's seen this website but he has not committed to doing this program. He told me today that he would fill out emotional needs. He believes we are getting help bc we are seeing a therapist, but I of course want more. As of tomorrow it will b 3 weeks since I found out that they were seeing each other w/o me knowing. She btw is 26 and is beautiful. I dont believe I ever mentioned that. I did tell him this a.m. that he and OW were living in a fantasy world, that when they were together they had no worries and when he comes home he has responsibilties and chores. Alot of info on here is helping me to help him understand the reality of whats really going on.

HELP! The H and OW are still in contact. I have told my Daughter and she agreed to expose A to Fiance, in-laws, my parents, OW parents but not facebook, she believes exposing on FB will push my WS further away. Do you think I should expose on FB, How can I convince my Daugh, Has anyone done this, did your marriage survive this action?

Me/F 45
WS?M 43
BD 18
DD 11/9/12

Don't try to "educate" him. If he had a brain right now, he wouldn't be in such a silly situation. He's not thinking straight. Exposure brings reality crashing in and THEN a wayward spouse can start to see things for what they are.

Why are you asking your 18 year old daughter to do all this? This is your responsibility. She should be made aware of course, but you are the one who needs to tell the fianc� and family/friends/other people who can support.

People who do NOT expose do not succeed here, they end up in false recovery. Exposure is not negotiable.

IDK ALIS, because I dont want to lose him forever. My D thinks exposing on fbook is inappropriate. I'm scared and confused and pissed as he** at the same time!

I did not ask her to do this, i'm doing it, she just doesnt want me to post on fbook. She knows her Dad and thinks he may leave me if I do that.

An 18 year old girl does not know better than Dr. Harley on how to save marriages.

You're already losing him. How proud do you think he will be to divorce and remarry HER if everyone knew that she slept with him the same night that she fooled around with another man while she was engaged to another man?

She will run for the hills.

TY Alis what your saying makes sense. Also wondering if I should call a lawyer B4 I expose, will it make a difference? He could try to hide assets.

Yes, i am committed to no contact, BH is not tho, he is still calling OW. EX BF is engaged. I've put my exposure plan into action already. waiting for call backs.

I meant my H not BH

Feeling much better after my exposure today. Last night I found out he had purchased a tracphone, found the phone (which was in a chair next to where he was sleeping) and saw that he had still been calling her at work and her cell and she was calling him too. I went to his mom's told her and she was extremely upset. Her fiance called me (after I txt him to call me) and the OW had lied to the Fiance and told him about having one 3some but nothing about having an A w/ my H. I asked the fiance if he wanted me to expose this to her parents and he volunteered to call them. I then went to my parents and told my dad. My H s/w his mom and called me. I told him I knew about the tracphone and he said "there's nothing going on we were just talking" He's devastated that I told his Mom and he wasnt there to "defend himself" I dont believe it for a minute. He's still blaming me for everything thats happened, including that I'm an alcoholic and if I wasnt one nothing would have happened (he was sober) I believe this exposure has ended his little secret and now he's looking to blame me. What do u all think? Do you believe him? Thanks again, I feel like a 1,000 pnd weight has been lifted off of me. I dont know if he's going to stay w/ me at this point, so now I'll post in the prayer forum!

Me 45 F Betrayer and betrayed
Him 43 M WH
BD 18
DD 11/9/12

Of course I don't believe him. He's very upset that you shined the light on his crack addiction, and took away the secrecy of his crack.

You should feel good.

I call bullsnippy on his "If you weren't an alcoholic" story.

Of course he's devastated. He didn't want his dear old mum knowing what a terrible cad he's been.

My WH still is not opening up to me, he seems angry and irritable all the time. Has been spending all his free time working on projects. Since his last contact w/ the OW was 1 and 1/2 wks ago, perhaps I'm rushing reconciliation. A few things I've been thinking about (among many) I would like to know how many times he and OW were together. WH does not want me to ask him anymore questions, states, do u have to know everything to me? But I think I have a right to know this. Also at one BH said to me: I've never felt this way before about OW. What does that mean? that he loves her more than he ever loved me?

Don't even bother trying to figure out what's going on his head.

You should stick to Plan A for 3 weeks and then move to Plan B.

It's fog. Don't listen to it.