No. When my ex husband cheated on me, I didn't feel the need to fabricate details for dramatic effect.

Why do you keep posting your creative writing on this message board? I suspect the reason you have completely ignored everyone's advice is because very little of your story is actually true. You are just playing games with us.

Your statement, "I know no one can tell anyone the right thing to do in any situation because every situation is unique" proves you haven't even bothered to familiarize yourself with the MB principles. If you had, you'd understand that every infidelity situation is not unique; certain problems are common to all infidelity situations; and this website provides a logical, step-by-step action plan for solving those problems. If you would simply be honest--rather than continuing to post self-indulgent melodrama--you could get excellent advice from the vets on this message board.

JC,

The thought that this was a sick joke also crossed my mind. If the story is true however, both TP and his wife need MB and this site more than ever. If TP is just trying to get famous and get us to read his "dark" link then he is pathetic and needs to find something else to do with his time.

I really hope it that is not the case. Either way TP, if you are going to ask for help....then use it!!

Really ... I come here and now I'm being called the liar. Sorry my words dont sound right and maybe it's just because I'm new at posting on message boards like this. It is a sad tale in my mind ..

Anyways .. Feel free to attack me .. I can tAke it.

My wife has read this post as I am open with her and even mentioned it may be good for her to post here too. The thing is ... Arent we all here just grasping at straws a bit ...

I'll mention it to her again ...

Fifteenyears .. Looking at my life right now does feel like a sick joke sometimes. I never came here asking for help ... I have been here lots and because of all the valuable information I have found here that helped me through the last year ... When this last freight train (sorry foe the analogies) hit me I guess I just needed to tell my story somehow ... Probably just feeling sorry for myself.

No not at all. Most of us are following a plan.

This site is very solution-orientated. While I wouldnt call you a liar, I would say most spouses in your shoes want to find a solution. Are desperate for one in fact. So it comes across very strangely that you don't.

I never came here asking for help ... I have been here lots and because of all the valuable information I have found here that helped me through the last year

TP, the entire statement above seems like a contradiction to me. You have more than the right to tell your story but also listen to the wise people on this site who can help you deal with the freight train. This forum is made not just for people to tell their story but also to use MB principals to make their marriages stronger.

You have the right to feel sorry for yourself. I feel horrible for you, it kept me up last night. But at the same time I feel like if you really read the information applied it to your marriage, that changes would have started...maybe I am grasping at straws and I am sorry if I am doing so.

I myself have been on here a year as well and know that if you are reading and using the material the way is should be used that your marriage should start to recover and you and your wife should know each others EN's, she should be showing you Just Compensation.

I do see that she has used trickle truth and every time you learned more, it set you back to square one. You however, now have should have the information from this site and forum to change and or help the situation that you are in.

Punisher, are you taking anger management classes? Have you been to a dr for anti-depressants?

Here is a letter she wrote me the other day ...

Dear Marty,
Jan. 1, 2013

I've thought long and hard about how to start and write this letter, and
what specifically was most important for me to share with you. �There are so
many things I need to say.

I understand. �Although it has taken much time, and selfishly this process
has been a lengthy and horrific path for you, and our kids, I finally
understand the deep, dark, insidious depths of my choices in life, and their
ever lasting consequences. ����I truly understand that there are no excuses;
no reasons, no marital or life problems that can or should ever be expected
to justify my actions. �After years of lies on top of lies, I understand
that my actions and my lies have caused you the most unbearable pain, fear
and physical and emotional destruction. �I understand that I have tragically
hurt and scarred our innocent children. �I understand that trickling the
lies has completely destroyed your ability to trust me. �I understand that
every day you are here beside me, fighting for us, our love and our future,
that I do not deserve it. �For what I have done, I do not deserve you. �I
understand all of this now, now that I am not living life hiding behind a
curtain of lies, and a mask of deception and untruths. �I understand that
through the course of our life together, I can no longer call my past, my
actions merely 'mistakes'. �I understand that I made a series of very, very
regrettable choices and I take full responsibility for the tragedy of our
life today. �I understand that some truths are too painful, to be forgiven.

I am thankful. �Plain and simple, I am thankful for you and everything that
you are and value in life. �You are a good person Marty; you are true to
your heart and you know what matters the most in life. �You have always been
committed to our family, you never strayed, you never lost focus, and you
always worked hard. �You are a good husband and a good father. �Thank you.
You have deserved so much more love in life, and I want to give that to you.
I am so thankful and most grateful that you have never given up on me, on
us, now and in the past, during the good times and the bad, you never gave
up. �You have taken the hard path, thank you. �I am thankful that every day
you find new ways to keep moving forward, with me. �Thank you for being you.

I am sorry. �I am sorry that I betrayed you. �I am sorry that I cheated on
you multiple times, and that I have lied all these years to hide the truth,
only to protect myself and the other guilty cheaters. �I regret that I lied
about my lies. �Instead of living my wedding vows to you faithfully, I
completely disrespected you. �Instead of nurturing you and your love, I
treated you like [censored] and I gave my love away. �I took you, your love and
the family that you gave me, all for granted. �I am so sorry and remorseful
for this. �I am sorry for kicking you when you were down, then kicking you
again. �I am sorry that when you gave your trust and love to me, that I
chose to hurt you. �I have been selfish and pathetic, and I regret to have
been this person that I so dislike. �I am ashamed of my past, and my
actions. �Marty, I know your pain runs deep, deeper than I can even
understand and I am so sorry for being the cause. �I know that everything
around you is a potential trigger, and that the movies play nonstop on some
sort of sick, constant playback scramble. �I am so sorry for placing this
inside your brain, and that it consumes your every thought. ��I desperately
want to remove it, to make all your pain go away and I would give anything
to do that.

I love you. �What is love? �This is a deep question with many
interpretations and answers. �Who knows what is the true answer is? �In our
world together, no one knows, but us. �Here's what I know. �I know that when
given the numerous chances in life to walk away, to start over, and to leave
the past, present and future, we never did. ��Neither of us did, not 15
years ago, not 3 years ago and not now. �Why? Was this stupidity, or
confusion, or fear of change? �Did we stay because of the kids? �Are we
still here because it was easier financially? �Did we never give up because
we are too afraid to start over, alone? �I don't think so. �Not any of these
reasons. �We are here today because we feel love for each other, and it's
the kind of love you only feel once in life and is a love that lasts a
lifetime. �We are here together today because we are hanging on to that
love, like a thin thread, we hang on. �But my love...the strength of our
thread is greater than the strongest wire. �This love is only what matters,
and we feel it, and we won't let go. �Marty, I love you sincerely from every
core of my being; I love you with my heart and soul. �I want to share my
love with you and only you every day from this day forward. �I do not want
to lose another day to lies and deception. �I will never cheat on you again,
and I promise that as we face new challenges in our marriage and life, I
will come talk to you and share my feelings and help find constructive
solutions together, because I understand now that there is no way possible
this could hurt any more than the pain I have already caused you through
infidelity. �I desperately want to be your best friend. �I want you to me
mine. �I want to laugh with you, play games with you, and I want to cry with
you and hold you when you need me. �I want to grow old together, and watch
our babies grow and our family grow. �I want to earn your trust back. �I
want to make you happy.

I have found new meaning in my life. ��These are new goals for me; they are
simple and if I can achieve them, they will be most rewarding for everyone
that I love. �Marty, I have looked into the eye of this island and what I
found...is beautiful. �My love, you are my island. �You are the center of my
universe, one I want to explore deeply, together. �

I understand. �I am thankful. �I am sorry. �I love you.

Together, or apart, you will always be my true love.

Forever yours,

Kim

TP,

I did not think you were lying btw, so that is not a shared view by everyone on this website.

Your writings were a bit wacky at times, but that is entirely consistent with someone who just found out their life is a fake and needs to be rebuilt.

God Bless
Gamma

Rocketqueen ... I'm not angry anymore ... As I say anger is counterproductive and leads nowhere. I'm just a bit depressed a bit.

Feeling a bit better today though.

This letter of hers is just words. Read the plan ML posted to you!!!!!! You will see there is no mention of listening to the wayward drone on in a letter in the SAA plan.

Listening to what she says is not any plan at all. You will see that some of our veteran posters who offer the best advice have disappeared from your thread.

That is because you are seemingly not interested in it.

That letter is beautiful and seems very sincere. I really hope she means every word in the letter. I wrote a very similar letter to my H right after my A.

I will share with you the same thing that was shared with me by my H and a number of people on here...actions speak louder than words. So if she is proving to you that she is committed and using MB principals to help you and your marriage than I am proud of both of you and can only encourage you to keep going and keep with the program.

Her words in that letter however and what you have written on here do not prove to me that you are practicing the concepts.

Both my H and I went for months half a$$ing it and we nearly fell apart. It was not until we were both truly committed to applying the principals to our marriage before it ever had a fighting chance. I year later, we still have an extremely long way to go.

I am on your side! I want to see you guys get through this. What I am trying to show you is that your wife can be so very sorry and can say that she is remorseful...but is she showing you this? Do you have your Just Compensation?

Dear Members,

If you are having difficulty "believing" a story or frustrated with the inability of a member to take action, PLEASE do not make accusations on their thread.

PLEASE notify a moderator & move on to another thread!

***edit***

**Please read above post****

Deleting after JustUss' post.

Since specific incidents were referenced regarding one of the personas (i.e. "Banner"), I assumed the stories were intended to be read literally. That's why I asked about treatment for anger management. I suppose I didn't get an answer to that question because I should have known that the incidents were merely figurative. I apologize for misunderstanding.

I deleted my post within seconds, therefore you shouldn't be addressing it any more. It doesn't matter.

Glad to hear it. I re-read your first post and was concerned about your "banner" moments. There is counseling available to help you manage it if it is something you have trouble with.
As for the depression, there is no shame in taking anti-depressants. You, as well as all of us BS', were dealt a terrible blow when we found out about our spouse's infidelity. The AD's help with the sleeping, eating and thinking more clearly.

Punished,

You can carry on feeling sorry for yourself and be miserable or you can do something constructive to help yourself, your marriage and the kids stuck in this unpleasant situation.

I am the type of person who subscribes to helping people who want to help themselves. You seam stuck in wanting to be miserable but for the sake of the kids and everyones sanity I would suggest listening to the beneficial advice your getting and get yourself out of this misery. The people here want to help you and want you to be in a strong loving marriage.

Your wife may well still be lying and it is in your interest to find out how and when and with whom she betrayed you by going through with the lie detector test so you can make an informed decision about how to protect your marriage from further betrayals and rebuild it or if you feel it is the right for you divorce.

I can relate with the insanity that we betrayed spouses can go though when we find out about an affair but this insanity has to end at some point. This is that point for you, grab the lifeline you have been given here and pull yourself out of this misery.

I really hope things get better for you soon.