Here you go.

Extraordinary Precautions

BrainHurts is amazing. She has every reference at the tip of her fingers.

AM

The MB librarian!

The MB librarian!

I shoulda copyrighted that title!

I thought you already did?

This was money and time wasted.

This was not an acceptable valid test when you insist on questions that the expert did not want to use.

Then to ask did WW have sex that night, vs did WW ever have sex with the OM.

You have not gotten the truth. You made the margin of error to wide to render this test to have any worth.

LFTS,

BTW, just the fact that your WW was willing to do the test goes a long way to making her a FWW.

God Bless
Gamma

AM, this the point where I have been hitting a wall. I think the MB plan is great (it took a while), but if I was going to do it I was going to do it. For myself, I would not begin some dog-and-pony show, which is what it would be without all truth revealed. We would get to this point and I just knew there was more. She thought if she told me I would tell her to leave, but wouldn�t face the fact that the deception I correctly felt was killing me and driving me further away every day.

I have more faith in her honesty this morning than I�ve had in some time. I believe it is warranted and I think she knows that if she deceives me now, that�s it.

Now it�s time to get to work (not that this hell hasn�t been work).

Trueform admitted to kissing the OM that night, but the polygraph examiner didn't detect deception when Trueform answered "no" to the second question. Unless "kissing" was excluded from the definition of "sexual contact," the polygraph examiner's results for that question must have been invalid. Moreover, the polygraph examiner provided "results" for the third question, despite the fact that a polygraph isn't even capable of testing that type of question. Regardless, Late and Trueform seem satisfied with the polygraph results, so I've decided there is no reason to continue pointing out the obvious. I wish them well, and sincerely hope they can find a way to recover their marriage.

It was excluded.

Only you have to be satisfied with the poly, not us.

Recovery is a slippery slope. You came here wisely seeking advice but didnt request help on what to ask on the poly. A simple addition or withholding of a word changes the dynamic and renders the answer worthless.

Now you lost the exclusivity of the MB because your wife is poster here, but can you let the well-intentioned members here guide you (and her) through the next phases? Creating a loving and excellent marriage isnt as simple as you thought and extremely difficult after learning whatever you have learned.

His wife is not in an active affair so it is good that she is here. Am 100% with armymama that the focus needs to be on recovery. We are past the polygraph now.

Amen Mel.....plenty of heavy lifting ahead, letting go of things when it's time is tough enough. THANKS.

I agree with Mike -- it's too bad you didn't ask for support of this board on the poly questions. We could have helped you there.

I point this out not to keep the focus on the poly but instead to make sure you continue getting help implementing this program. I noticed the Q by BH about EPs was not answered. What EPs are being implemented?

For God's sake can this be put to rest. For the record, I copied the questions directly from this site, The third question was mine and the one I was most concerned with. Tester adjusted slightly to be less vague and I was comfortable with it.

The point was about the feedback you would have gotten if you had posted your questions and about the fact that we are trying to help you implement things that would be beneficial to recovery.

I understand being angry about what is going on in your life but we are not the enemies here, OK?

That being said, is there a reason that the question about EPs isn't being answered? Do you want help with this?

Did you see this part of the post?

The anger towards us is alarming because we aren't the enemy, and all we can do is provide the facts and logic to the situation. We only want to protect you because a false recovery could kill you sir.

I have yet to see any recovery happen when it doesn't start on the foundation of radical honesty.

Her extraordinary precautions have to be solid to the core. The feelings she has for this man are there. Still there, and will not go away anytime soon. Recovery is difficult because it is raw emotions met with accountability. Your WW has had zero accountability for years and has built some very difficult bad habits to break. Her recovery will fully depend on her ability to follow the EPs exact, and your ability to hold her accountable. One slip must be met with consequences from you.

In the thousands of recoveries I have seen on this board succeed, honesty is the forefront. A life of full transparency is crucial without usually leads down a terrible path.

Please post her extraordinary precautions when you can. I think guidance would be helpful. I am sorry you are feeling so much pain. It is the worst place in the world to be. I have been there. Most of us have been there. We have overcome and the support from this forum is a place of safety.

Your enemy is the affair ... your enemy is your wife's lies ... your enemy is your wife's betrayal.

She has to carry you through this recovery and her actions will lower your pain and will heal you accordingly. She has to do this and she has to heal you. It isn't your job to carry her adultery ... any part of it.

She owns this nightmare 100% and her actions from this moment on will prove to you her remorese.

EPs are the only way to show you she cares because they are your greatest protection. Let them be GREAT!!!!

Maybe this was missed because of all the focus on the poly, but could you please answer?

What EPs have your WW given you?