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Joined: Jan 2010
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Originally Posted by Dadof366
Good morning, again, my MB friends!!

When entering a new relationship, and understanding I won't accept anything less than a high quality, high character woman, when should one start applying MB principles?

I understand MB principles are for married folks, but I certainly wouldn't want to wait until I was married to incorporate them.

Specifically, when is a good time to bring these principles up in conversation? I tend to think they should be brought up in the first few conversations. I wouldn't want to spend considerable time with any woman who wasn't willing to apply MB to a relationship.

Thoughts?

Thanks!

Here's my view on apply MB's principles:

Live and date using the principles. From the start. Don't lecture, educate, or demand, but demonstrate through your actions.

Always be radically honest from the start, and simply throw out that you expect the same (without going into it being a MB principle). Practice POJA and take the lead in negotiating decisions, but you don't have to call it that.

The rest is easy, but be careful. Living and dating using the principles can be a powerful aphrodesiac and women will quickly fall for you.

Practice undivided attention, intimate conversation, recreational companionship, praise and affirmation. They will naturally flow back to you.

When the relationship becomes serious and two people start considering a future together, that may be a good time to actually read the books and have the discussion of how you want this kind of marriage. But, it will be easy at that point because you two will have already been living the principles from the start.

If you are dating someone who you can tell has trouble with radical honest, POJA, or meeting EN's, then you simply move on. Reading the book isn't going to suddenly change them.

Joined: Aug 2000
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Exactly...when it is time for going out to a movie, ask her what she would like to see. You could tell her you are interested in the new Sly Stallone movie, but what does she think as you want to see something you would both enjoy. She might say that she is not a big fan of action, but how about Twilight? Then you could say that you are not a fan of the series, but how about Argo? So you practice your negotiation skills...you make her feel safe to disagree.

Or she might say that Sly is fine let's see that. Does she complain about it later? If so, you could tell her that truly you want to make agreements that you are both happy with. You don't callit POJA. Then you see how she is when you pick a restaurant. Make sure if she makes a suggestion that you are happy with you let her choose sometimes too.

Also practice openness and honesty. As appropriate, let her know what you are up to and see how she does without seeming stalkery. :-)

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