Listen to me.
You can switch this without warning.
"Make her withdraw more" ???? She's planning to move out and take YOUR boys with her.

Be the Dad your boys need.

Trust an oldie. Telling them her bullcrap story is a rookie error.

Do NOT allow a wayward foggy wife control the narrative your kids hear.

He may be a pedophile.
Background check.
DUIs.
Law suits.
Divorces.
Find out who the enemy is.

Your boys will cry.
That's GOOD.
This should be intensely UNCOMFORTABLE for your wife.
She should feel awful for what she is intentionally doing to her boys.
Do not make the break-up of their family a fake-happy event.

In addition, who on OM's side have you exposed to?

Did you read what Dr. Harley says about telling the children as young as 4 the truth?

OK, I will repeat without warning:

I love Mommy.
I want Mommy to stay here.
I don't want Mommy to leave.
I want to keep our family together here, in our home.
This is our home.
This is our family.
Married people are supposed to try hard to keep the family together.
I can make Mommy happy.
I love both of you.
I want Mommy to get rid of her boyfriend.

Not much else to loose!

After you tell the kids, also say (something like .... use this as a template):



"OK. You kids are not moving out. Mommy will decide later if she still wants to move out. Daddy does not control Mommy. You boys are staying here. So, let's plan our weekend. Let's make tents in the family room and have an indoors picnic on Saturday. How does that sound?"

Your wife is no more responsible for her actions than a drunk or a drug addict. What possible reason could you have for agreeing to let her steal your children from you?

Grab some testosterone pills, dude, and tell WW that she may move wherever the hell she wants, but you children stay put. Their home is where they have lived, and her little affair and temper tantrum does not change that.

File a court order if you have to! And tell FIL and MIL to get the hell out of your marriage. They have some frickin' nerve acting as an accessory to her destruction thereof.

THERE! That's how you FIGHT, amigo!

Exactly!
Be the one parent who tells the kids the truth (age appropriate).

When you are done telling them be sure to ask:

"Do you have any questions?"

Be sure to tell the boys they can come to you anytime with questions and tell them you will be honest with them. "Because, Mommy & Daddy have taught you to tell the truth, so we must tell the truth to you."

If possible, hold WW's hand while you talk to the boys. (non verbal is what kids recognize as true)

Good advice! Tell the boys the truth. I suspect your WW is hedging her bets. She wants to separate so she can go back to OM with a clear conscience. Keep up plan A. Maybe a nice dinner tonight.

Good job on exposure and all your actions so far! Keep going!

OK, I am ready...

I love mommy &
I want mommy to stay here.
I don't want mommy to leave.
I want to keep our family together here, in our home.
This is our home.
This is our family.
Married people are supposed to try hard and keep the family together.
I can make mommy happy.
I love you both so much.
I want mommy to get rid of her boyfriend and stay with our family.

Ohh man, this is gonna be crazy but i will practice the rest of the day and be prepared.

Thanks Everybody!!

Good luck Floridaguy. Do not engage your WW anger...expect it.

Thanks.

I will report back tonight and will keep preacticing checking for advice.

Fight for your family but not with disrespect, demands or anger. Do not roll over so easily. Tell your children the truth. They likely know there is trouble because their mommy has been going out without you and so other focused. You and their mother made a big mistake. You did not take the time needed to be alone and care for one another. Their mommy was lonely for friends and fun outside the home and spent time with other people. She has become confused about where she belongs and has spent time with another man which is against your marriage and hurtful to all of you. She needs to stop and come home to her family and you plan to give her the time and attention needed to stay a happy and loving family.

They don't need to hear about their family breaking up. They need to hear you care and want to keep your family together. Besides spending 15 + hours week together as a couple, spend 15 add'l hours as a family teaching the children about being thoughtful and caring towards others.

Pepperband... great ideas for the after talk with WW. I will use and memorize...

Graceful... love it. What I need to hear.

Good luck FLGUY.

You are much better prepared than she.
Stay calm.
Remember, you are functioning as a role model for your future men. Teaching them how a real man handles himself when there is a big problem.

In fact, you can use this later when WW tries to take you apart.

"I am showing our boys how a real man stands up for what he believes in. That's part of my 'most excellent promise'. To role model for our little men how a husband is supposed to behave ."

Do not be disappointed by her response. In fact, be prepared for her to be at her worst. You are not trying to 'preach & teach', you are showing her what a great HUSBAND you are. You are 'fighting for' her. OM is not. He's retreating with tail between his legs. A worthless bug. It's going to be difficult for her to acknowledge he wanted to use her for a piece of tail. YOU never say this. She will come to that truth on her own. It may take awhile. Stay on script, fighting FOR her. Don't fight or argue with a mad woman, no mater how big the bait. And, she will toss plenty of bait. <~~~ WW's when they can't easily get their way. Oh well .......... This insanity is temporary.

What most woman want ~~~> A man who will do battle for her.
My H and I are both in our 60s. He still fights for me. It's a love-bank deposit like no other!!!