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I can't thank you all enough for this great advice. My Mom is also reading this thread and is in agreement with your assessment. She also scolded me on my terrible spelling so to all I am sorry for that! I will use the spell checker more often...
ME: BS, 37
WW: 37
DS 7 DS 5
Married 11 Years
DDay 2/4/13 EA
ILYBINILWY; 2/6/13
Nuclear Expose:2/18/13
Currently in Plan A
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My Mom is also reading this thread Hi MOM! 
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OK everybody. Leaving now to pick up boys from school and "the talk" I CAN and WILL be strong for my family.!
Thank you all for your help and please keep me in your prayers and thoughts.
I will update tonight.
ME: BS, 37
WW: 37
DS 7 DS 5
Married 11 Years
DDay 2/4/13 EA
ILYBINILWY; 2/6/13
Nuclear Expose:2/18/13
Currently in Plan A
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FLGUY, I couldn't be more glad to see the heavy hitters coming out to give you advice on your thread. As always, I am in COMPLETE agreement with Pep.
Had you read all of the parts of this site that has to do with PLan A? There are a fair amount of threads where a BH has been given great advice on how to Plan A. The one I remember most recently is GJM. Mortorman is also a great resource. Remember, this is going to be a long haul, not a short stint. For BHs, you need to win the WW back to the marriage. That takes time, and TONNES of effort. And NONE of it will depend on your WW. THis is about YOU. Plan A is ONLY about YOU. It's about being the husband you could be.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Thanks graceful2b,
I purchased the SAA Monday AM. Should be here shortly. I absolutely want to set up meeting with Steve or Jennifer but thought WW needed to want to work on things first.
I do not plan to tell boys about affair as being only 6 and 5 I personally think they are to young to comprehend. Children young as 4 are old enough to understand in an age appropriate way. You simply state the facts. That when people get married they do not mom's do not have a BF and dads do not have a GF. Well mom has a BF and wants to leave me for the BF and break up the family.
Last edited by TheRoad; 02/27/13 06:56 PM.
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Go! Mom! Your son has some of the best people on here in his corner.
Last edited by TheRoad; 02/27/13 06:59 PM.
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Well, we had the talk with the boys and I did and said everything as suggested. She was stunned and tried to stop me from talking mid way through. I calmly told her I wanted to finish speaking to the boys. And I finally said everything.
The boys were visibly upset and my wife kept telling them that it was not true. Now they keep asking why mommy wants to leave. I tell them to ask mommy and that daddy wants her to stay with us as a family.
She took me outside and asked what do I not understand, and that she does not love me anymore. Why would I want to be with someone that does not love me? I have to admit that it is a good question, but I replied that I made a commitment and vow to her, that I would love her and be by her side in good times and bad. She replies that it is over and we will never be together again. To just move on and be a good husband to someone else.
I was prepared for her wrath. It almost feels like a second exposure talk all over again. I keep telling her that I am trying to fight for our family and set a good example for our boys of how a MAN and Husband act when things get tough. She does not want to hear anything and just tells me that we are done. She said she feels like a punching bag and does not know what I will do or say next. I am always calm and say that I just want US to work together to save our family.
She is putting the kids to bed right now so I expect round #2 in a few minutes. God help me.
ME: BS, 37
WW: 37
DS 7 DS 5
Married 11 Years
DDay 2/4/13 EA
ILYBINILWY; 2/6/13
Nuclear Expose:2/18/13
Currently in Plan A
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She took me outside and asked what do I not understand, and that she does not love me anymore. Why would I want to be with someone that does not love me? I have to admit that it is a good question, but I replied that I made a commitment and vow to her, No it is just fog babble. I am so proud of you Floridaguy.
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Whenever she starts talking about how she doesn't love you, just tune it out -- remember Charlie Brown's teacher? Think of that "wah-wah-wah-wah" sound because that's all this fog from your WW is.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Good job FG!  Just keep repeating the same things over and over... Your WW is in what is called the fog. Your mission now that you have completed exposure is to make your WW fall in love with you again, by showing her the guy that she walked down the aisle with (Carrot) while showing her exactly what a divorce will look like (Stick). There will be no "friendly" divorce. The boys' lives will be shattered. Maybe throw in a few statistics about kids from divorced homes. Carrot and Stick of Plan A from Pep's signature. http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...flat&Number=2400725&#Post2400725Stay calm. Good luck with round 2.
Me BW: 30
WH: 33
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Well, you hit a home run! Keep your cool through her fog talk and just remember she is trying to make you into an abusive monster to justify her deceitful hurtful actions. Be cool as a cucumber.
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OM is not married from what I can tell on FB. Looks like a total player. I know you've exposed on WW's side and told your boys (excellent job), but who have you exposed to on OM's side?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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... You are 'fighting for' her. OM is not. He's retreating with tail between his legs. ...
I agree that this isn't anything FloridaGuy needs to bother discussing or revealing to his WW; but nevertheless, it seems to me that in addition to what he's doing vis-a-vis his WW, FloridaGuy should also be firing some shots across POSOM's stern, close enough to burn the hair off his sorry [censored] -- basically to start sending this guy the message that, for POSOM, FloridaGuy's wife = way more hassle, trouble & maintenance than she's worth. (Not that actual threats should be made, but it'd not be unhelpful for the SOB to be made a little skittish about sleeping with both eyes closed, or at least to be staying up thinking about how fun it'll NOT be to sit in a deposition room or a court to have to tell his whole story...).
IMHO.
Me: FWH, 50
My BW: Trust_Will_Come, 52, tall, beautiful & heart of gold
DD23, DS19
EA-then-PA Oct'08-Jan'09
Broke it off & confessed to BW (after OW's H found out) Jan.7 2009
Married 25 years & counting.
Grateful for forgiveness. Working to be a better husband.
"I wear the chain I forged in life... I made it link by link, and yard by yard" ~Jacob Marley's ghost, A Christmas Carol
"Do it again & you're out on your [bum]." ~My BW, Jan.7 2009
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...and she can (since you can't stop her) get in the truck with enabling Mom and Dad and LEAVE....but the children stay with you!!! They have school, they have friends, and they have lives, that are not subject to WW's little fit of pique.
Make sure that gets relayed tomorrow as well.
BTW: You done GOOD, so far!
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BTW: You done GOOD, so far! This is the part that is scary. He has done good so far, but that's not good enough. So far he's only employed the dreaded half-assed exposure that always comes back to bite our BSs in the [censored]. FG, you really have done well so far, but it WILL be all for naught if you don't nuke the POSOM's side of the fence as well. Like GO said, make it not worth his effort to pursue your WW any longer. If you don't, he will. Bank on it.
Every man I meet is in some way my superior; and in that I can learn of him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Awesome job so far FG........finsih the exposure on the OM's side.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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This killing the affair gig isn't so easy, is it? You've done some pretty brave and bold things already, and now we are asking you to do more. Thing is, we've seen it all, and we know how this will play out. If you've read as much as you claim, then you know this to be true. Get your butt in gear and get OM exposed too. Also, I would have a frank discussion with your FIL and ask him to help you by putting pressure on his daughter to end the affair.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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WOW, just WOW.. Talk number 2 was nothing like I expected. She actually wanted to talk about US and was opening up to me. We actually sat close together for once and talked about meeting each others needs and what we would want IF we were to talk about reconciling.
She said she has always felt neglected and if I had only showed her this side earlier things might be different. WW is still set on leaving Friday but seemed open to "dating". Not sure if she is just trying to trick me or these are her true feelings. I am very surprised with the way our entire conversation focused on not just our past but future.
I plan to go nuclear exposure on OM's FB in the next hour. Gonna hit everyone on his friends list. This one will actually feel good!
I never thought talking to the kids today could actually help, but now I know that I MANED UP and told the truth and did what was best for my family. I will never EVER regret anything that I told those boys today. Thank you all for your great words of wisdom. Now, I will Plan A until my love bank is either empty or her's fills enough to work on things. I think today was a good step in the right direction. Now I have some NUKING to do!
ME: BS, 37
WW: 37
DS 7 DS 5
Married 11 Years
DDay 2/4/13 EA
ILYBINILWY; 2/6/13
Nuclear Expose:2/18/13
Currently in Plan A
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A woman wants her man to fight for her.
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How many FB contacts does he have? Hit relatives and married friends first. Have you seen this? FB exposure letters to OP's contacts
Should be done to the OP�s facebook friends via private message. This is a very, very effective exposure because it is a collection of the OP�s closest friends and family. SPACE THE PM�S OUT 60 SECONDS APART SO FB DOES NOT SHUT YOU DOWN FOR FLOODING. Before you begin, copy and paste all the contacts into a WORD doc. Change your fb picture to a picture of you and your spouse and children.
Dear friend of JoeScumbag:
It grieves me to write this letter but I believe all of his friends should know the kind of person he really is. Joe had an affair with my wife, Sally, from Aug until September. I believe that his friends should know this, so you can protect your marriage from him. My wife and I have 2 small daughters and this affair has almost wrecked our marriage.
I would be happy to provide the evidence to anyone who asks.
I would appreciate it if someone would notify his parents and ask them to call me at xxx-www-xxxx.
Thank you, BH
***********************
Dear friend of Skankyhola,
It grieves me to write this letter but I believe all of her friends should be aware that OW is having an affair with my husband, Joe. We have been married for 5 years. They have been having this affair since October according to the evidence.
I would be happy to provide the evidence to anyone who asks.
I would ask that you use your influence with OW to persuade her to leave my husband alone. You should also watch your own husbands around her because she is no friend to marriage.
I would appreciate it if someone would notify her parents and ask them to call me at xxx-www-xxxx.
Thank you, BW
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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