WW just left with the boys. She came home and packed up some of their clothes and the rest of her personal items.

It really was not that bad surprisingly. While she was packing, I did something with the boys that I never took the time to do before.... We colored!...and it was awesome. I know the boys really appreciated it. I asked them to draw what paradise looked like to them and they both drew the secret desert island park that we so love to visit here in Florida.

They drew and I colored. I would have NEVER taken the time to do something like that before Pepper's advice here earlier today. Don't get me wrong, I always spend time with the boys but usually with things like homework, or sports, or video games, or with the computer. But nothing creative like this and it was awesome! They both drew Mommy and Daddy and themselves together in their picture holding hands. They were so proud and wanted to take the picture home to hang on the fridge at Nonna's and Pop Pop's. WW will probably not go along with that but my boys seemed to have a plan.

No mention of the festival tomorrow with WW. I did not even bring it up. I did not really say anything to WW. I was just being the best DAD and Father that I could be.

I am holding up OK and can't wait till Mom and Dad get here in a few hours. Got to make it till Sunday @ 6pm to see my angels again.

Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers.

Coloring is a great way to get boys to talk to you about their feelings. Just so you know ... Laying on your belly next to them, on the floor, and coloring & talking is bonding time. When they tell you about what they have drawn, they are opening up to you.

Good job!!!

PS
For some reason, kids will feel more free to talk if you are all on the floor together. Equal footing, I suppose.

Great job!

Your children will remember these times.......Daddy coloring with us, daddy reading to us, etc.

Logan's Run just reminded me of something .... Take your boys bowling.
Invite Mommy.
But take those little dudes bowling.
Prepare to laugh.

FG, you're doing so great! Keep going, friend.

Florida,


I am just now getting into reading your thread here, brother.
It sounds like solid foundations are being put down.


If there is one, and only one, secret I can share that caused a huge turn around in winning my wife back from withdrawal, it would be CONFIDENCE.


Calm, cool, confidence.



I found that confidence in one simple realization; that I could quite easily drop this marriage based on my wife's infidelity and cruelty, and go on and thrive... but I chose to fight. I didn't need my wife, I chose her.

From that point, it was then my job to demonstrate that I was the best choice for her... and I had to demonstrate that.

And that started... with confidence.



What follows, sir, is completely silly, and completely serious.


Youtube, radio, mp3, cell phone. When you get ready in the morning each day - I want you to be clean and sharp. Look good, smell good... and as you are getting ready, I want you to look in the mirror and sing to yourself. I am going to post a song... but you might find your own inspiration elsewhere. That inspiration should say, in your heart "I am the MAN, I am THE BEST CHOICE, and SHE WILL CHOOSE ME."



Soulja Boy tell 'em!
Hopped up out the bed,
Turn my swag on,
Took a look in the mirror said what's up
Yeah I'm getting money (oh)

Turn my swag on,
It's my turn, now turn it up
Yeah, yeah
I put my team on, and my theme song
Now it's time to turn it up
Yeah, yeah


Ridiculous... but that's part of the point.

Prepare to have a wonderful time. The boys will have a blast and they get to wear funny shoes.

Thanks HHH. I have lost so much weight in the last few weeks that nothing really fits me anymore. I am heading right to the mall tomorrow early AM for some new swag!

Another confession. I have never been bowling...EVER. Kids will be probably laughing at me! Great Idea!

Man .... wouldn't we all love to see those photos.

Well, since you are bringing the kids, you could always ask for gutter bumpers!

I recently did that with my WW and DS we all had a blast. 1st time for DS who is 4 and WW and I used to bowl our butts off while dating. Like one poster said take photos!

Just an idea for when your boys return. Make and frost cupcakes. Have toppings, sprinkles, skittles, pretzels, etc ready. When they return, invite WW to join you and the boys to decorate.

Thanks LR. Good idea.

Not much to report today. Last night was WW's first night away and she texted me a few times (more than usual). Asking if my parent's flight got in OK, giving updates of what the kids were doing etc. She also called first thing in the AM so kids could say good morning. She even asked what my plans were today.

I could see from the gps tracker that she was pretty much just sitting in the house with the boys all day. Still ZERO contact from OM or to OM.

No sure if I made a mistake but I texted her today.

Me "Any plans tonight?"
WW "Just hanging with the boys"
Me " Wine Bar?" ( new local place we always wanted to go to)
WW "I'm making dinner and then just feel like staying in. Thanks anyway."
ME " OK have a great night :)"

So, not much going on as I said... Can't wait to see the boys tomorrow!

FG,

I spent two hours last night reading your posts. I could not stop reading and like so many on here am very proud of how strong you are.

You honestly have the best of the best on here helping you so there is not a lot for this rookie to say. I just had a few thoughts and questions for you.

1. Does your wife still talk to or have any contact with your neighbor BEEP WORD that she went clubbing with? Has her H been informed of what was/is going on? I think she is just as dangerous as any contact with the OM.


2. Another thought I had, some people on here suggested you write your wife a love letter. It think this is a great idea! I think you should share with her some of the heart felt things you have shared with us on here about wanting to change and not being there in the past. I also think that putting the love letter in one of Dr. H's books (His Needs, Her Needs might be perfect), wrapping it and giving it to her might be a good idea. Just a thought.


3. Last but not least, I have to share with you how a wayward in a fog thinks....they don't!!! They are living in la la land. They think the grass is greener on the other side because the fog is hiding the beautiful roses on their own side of the fence.

I am a FWW. Even before I started my A, when it was just a "friendship" and I started getting foggy I started looking at my H in a different way.

Looking back now, I see how incredible stupid I was but no matter what my H did or said when I was foggy, I was not happy. Your wife stuck her head in the fog. Even if she did not have an actual affair, her head got stuck and is still stuck in the fog.

My hope is that she can get out and see the roses but no matter what happens, you keep making those roses beautiful for YOU!!!

You are in my thoughts and prayers!!!!!

WW called right after my last post. Oldest Son had an ear infection a few weeks ago and he was having really bad ear pains again.

I raced up to WW's house with his ear drops and meds. It was nice to see the boys for a minute and hopefully make a deposit in WW's bank.

Thank you for your encouraging words!

Yes WW speaks to skank neighbor(SN) daily. At-least 2 times per day or more. SN's husband is a complete tool who travels all the time and would be of no help. Yes, SN seems like a bigger obstacle then the OM at this point.

I did give her a love letter last Sunday AM. I think I totally screwed it up because she said it seemed judgmental and that I was guilting her to stay for the boys.

I have been thinking of this "fog" a lot recently. Her EA was only for a few weeks. Maybe she is not in the "fog". Maybe these are just her true feelings? I really have my doubts that she is even in a fog but just has an empty love bank.

Nah, she's definitely foggy. Foggy wayways love to throw around the "judge not" drivel. They all follow the same script. Your wife is right in line with all WS with her wayward speak.

The reason she hasn't responded more favourably is definitely skanky neighbour. She is enemy no. 1 in your marriage right now. You need to find a way to eliminate SN from the equation.. Can't think of how specifically, but Pep and the others might have some ideas on how to run SN off.

One idea...file a restraining order against her on behalf of yourself and your children. Sure you might be hard pressed to get a judge to issue it...but the look on her face upon getting served (and your wife's once she finds out) would be priceless. Nothing cockroaches hate more than the light of day.

Plus...you never know...us betrayed spouses are everywhere and just maybe the judge WILL issue a temporary or permanent restraining order to keep the neighbor away from your family.

Another thought that may help such along....call the neighbor up and ask her to leave your wife and family alone. Maybe she'll say say some incriminating stuff that you could use when filing the restraining/protection order. I was going to suggest taping the phone call but it appears Florida is a two party state (thus requiring both persons on a telephone call to be award that the call is being recorded). You could tape it with an app on your cell phone perhaps and only use it if she attempts to perjure herself on the witness stand....other than that...don't even mention you taped it.

Might be a bit over the top....but this neighbor is a new and worthless friend. You call her up...she goes nuts on you and in the long run there is no doubt your wife will take your side eventually. Right now...the friend is just an independent voice whispering crap into your wife's ear. After you call her up...your wife then becomes a referee in a dispute between you and the neighbor. It changes their relationship. It ups the ante...so to speak. I'd even tell her that one way or another she's on her way out of your lives...she might as well just leave NOW with some self-respect.

Mr. W

The friend is a very powerful enemy because like a drunk or drug addict they make the wayward feel good by enabling. Waywards love the "Yes Man" around them because it reinforces their choices of destruction.