Of course if you were so inclined to respond......"sorry that I am unable to care for WW's dog anymore since her dog and the alligators in the mote surrounding the house do not get along".

At this point it's no longer your problem. If they drop the dog off and tie it to a tree, call animal control and tell them someone dropped a strange dog off in your yard and your afraid to approach it. They'll come get it...

If dog gets tied to a tree on your property .... WW has washed her hands of dog's fate. It's now your sole decision what to do.
And, whatever decision you make, you just make it. Silently. No discussion. No explanation. The dog is gone.

If WW asks about dog's fate.....
"The dog has been taken care of." And say nothing else.

If they return the dog. Why not just send dog right back?

WW is forcing me to be the bad guy and make the decision to send her dog to the shelter. I will not make that decision.

Contacting a rescue or euthanizing an older animal would be much kinder.

I'm sure there is a crazy senior animal lady in your area. I'm always open to taking a senior because they're easier.

I invited WW to go out Friday night and she has not responded.

What about a "Let's talk about it Friday night?" response to try to defuse the issue?

We need to try to get back to the marriage and off the dog.

It took my FWW 9mo's after dday to fall out of love with POSOM, fall back in love with me and finally wake up and commit to R. Mix in a healthy dose of a prior 9mo A, FR after dday and whalla! .... you have a full-on emotional [censored] sandwich full of heartbreak.

It took me a long time to get to the point of having NO expectations of her. There is no way of predicting how this situation is going to shake out. It is encouraging that she is still communicating with you and wanting to spend some time together.

After my dday, she swore to NC and to be honest with me. right....didn't happen. The A went deeper underground. I strongly suspect the A is still going strong with you WW.

You are moving 100MPH right now. I encourage you to take a deep breath..slow down... You have to maneuver with your HEAD not your heart right now.

Moral of the story? Anything can happen. Be prepared for the best and/or the worse.

FG,
You are presently enjoying the process of learning the art of following MB principles. Learning to not use angry outbursts, disrespectful judgements, and selfish demands
even in the face of your wife 'negotiating' with you thru these said means. Its the very hardest thing to do under the present circumstances or I like to say "up against the axis of evil."

She and IL are demanding you pick up the dog. Even before she selfishly demanded you keep the dog. At any rate it helps to 'check' your own motives before you react by asking yourself if you are using AO, DJ or SD to straighten wife/IL out or are you using thoughtful requests to ask for what you need?

The thing is if you are habitually reacting to her AO, SD, DJ w/your own use of the same...this will be 'the war of the roses.'

If you can center yourself, follow the instruments outlined in SA, you'll know you have done your best. If your WW activities cause you to be concerned your own love bank will run dry, you will need to move to plan B. Too me, mutt drop needed to wait to you are actually in a dark plan B. This way you would not have had to worry about a response.

I'd suggest calling the coaching center and talk w/Steve H.

AMEN


You can offer to go with her and hold her hand if she decides to take her dog to the shelter because she cannot take care of it.

Just saying.

Because she's too busy fighting with her parents.

Relax.
Make other plans.
If she responds in the positive, it will be a big surprise.

You invite her once. You wait for her response. If necessary, you make other plans.

The lighthouse shines.

Your getting good advice here. I would find no-kill shelters in your area in case they drop the dog off. Send the dog there and don't beat a dead horse. Pep is right she is fighting her parents on this one and thats what you want. I hate to say it but the stick is to make her "arrangements" uncomfortable and you succeded in that. Good on you to invite her to the Friday night date as well. Don't worry about her response make an alternate plan if she fails to go. Stop analyzing waywards, they make about as much sense as a monkey f'n a football. Trust me from experience. My WW told me once it would be easy to fix the marriage. I said lets do it then and she said it would be emotionally difficult. Zing!

Not sure if I can comment on someones thread when I have never posted before so I do apologize. I have been reading this forum for three years now and can say that I have saved my 25 year marriage from following advise "silently".

Your wife packed up all her belongings, your children, and moved out. She left behind some personal property that you were so kind to deliver and leave for her. Dogs are personal property, so you didn't leave an animal on their porch, you left her property. If she returns the dog, tied to a tree, you call the police, and make a report of abandonment. Then you contact a no kill shelter, or see if you can find a loving home. That would be proof down the road so she can not say you gave away her dog with out her permission in case she tries to spin the situation. She may try something like that because of the kids, that she could not take the dog right now, and you were just caring for it.
I am sure if they did call authorities they were told they couldnt do anything.

I sooo appreciated this post! Its so true. this last time our adult kid moved out she claimed she only left 2 small boxes in the closet. I checked it out and found a whole lot more. I packed it up very nicely and carefully to show my respect.

Guess what? She called me on my anniversary holiday w/husband and went on and on about how I mistreated her by packing up everything. To her fuzzy logic I never loved her like I do her brother.

Totally indifferent to interrupting our anniversary or respecting our privacy.

MIL just emailed again. "When are you picking up [dog]�

WW just texted I breed to come pick up the dog because it is not her house.

Not responding!! Dad and I camped in fr
ont room on watch for sneak attack!!

This is starting to sound a little like the Hatfield and McCoy feud over a pig!

Girlonfire...

Please share your story on SAA, the Recovery forum or other topics forum. I'm sure there are hundreds of persons who follow along, get advice, apply the advice and save their marriages. It would be really nice to hear a "lurker" success story.

Call the thread...Lurker Success Stories (or whatever you want to call it...it's your thread) and maybe other lurkers will join in. I was a lurker too. I only starting posting AFTER my wife signed up and posted.

I've had a theory that lurking works but posting is much more effective. Do you wish you had actually starting posting at the outset? Did you suffer setbacks that advice directly related to your situation might have prevented??? Granted the board wasn't as good 3 years ago when there was still a war with a group of posters purposefully undermining this board and using it as their personal chat/message/opinion board. Since you've been reading along for 3 years, do you agree it's a much better forum now???

Mr. W

At work, so I don't have search time... but let me try something...



*Raises Mlinker, hamnmer of the Librarian Goddess*



REVERSE FOG BABBLE!!!!!!


(Please wait 2-4 hours for this spell to take effect)

Have you seen these?
FEMALE Wayward Fog Disassembled and Decoded
Craziest Things to Come out of a Wayward's Piehole