Don't respond to any more emails or texts please, it is much more difficult to unring a bell.

The dog issue isn't a big one, in the grand scheme of things. If the dog is returned, then it gets "taken care of" and you don't speak of it to WW. WSs that leave the marital home expect that the BS will take care of everything left behind, and it will remain the same, since they know we are reliable.

Promise. No replies.

However; If dog is returned, I will send right back at a later date. She will decide the fate of HER dog. Not me.

Booyah!


The mighty hammer, Mlinker works wonders, doesn't it!

(Thanks, Brain!)

When it's done correctly!!

You're welcome.

Ugh, I did a forum search and couldn't find the one I am thinking of, and gotta get my feet back on the floor pretty quick here.

There is a thread with some canned responses for fogbabble - as fogbabble deserves a canned response at best.


The mechanics of the respsonse usually include: not alleviating responsibility for infidelity or the consequences of infidelity from the infidel; maintaining the image of an open door to a fulfilling, romantic marriage; changing the subject quickly so the infidel cannot mount another foggy response.


I'm having a hard time constructing an example off the cuff at them moment, though.

I second Jedi's response if the dog issue comes up while you're out. Mr. W. thinks with a lawyer's mind, but I do recommend the truth as being the easiest option. Furthermore, I expect you will keep your promise not to respond to any messages on the subject of the dog.

Now we can let sleeping dogs lie...

What about this one?
Wayward Fog Disassembled and Decoded

I think it is possible the one I am looking for is lost. I went off-road and found a link-back, but the thread no longer existed.

Off-road examples that I found were unsupported mutations.


It did, however, prime my brain for an example;


WS: I need money for food.

BS: I bet. Eating can get expensive. We are having dinner Saturday.


Meh... kind of the idea.


WS: I feel so trapped.

BS: Yup, you painted yourself into a corner. What would you like for dinner?

It's not lost as I saw it a few months ago. I just can't remember where I saw it.

Still looking though.

I found the link, but it's been deleted.

From my research, it looks like it may have been deleted because it was presumed to be full of DJs.

There was a bit of it that was rather Wild-West type of stuff.


On my off-road excursion I saw some examples (and I'll tell you, I think a lot of it was carried virally via MB cast-offs to... *cough* other places *cough*) and they weren't the kind of responses that would get you very far in winning back a wayward heart.


I believe that's why it has been whittled down to simple responses restating that the door to the marriage is open, the BS will not participate in destroying the marriage, and then quickly changing the subject. Thus my earlier breakdown of bablle response mechanics.

Thanks for your investigation, Brain. You are cooler than the other side of the pillow.

"MB cast-offs". That is funny Triple H.

I will do that when I return home from work. I'm not good with words, so it may be a long post due to three long years of hard work. I am still learning, that is why I still read as much as possible.

Great post.

Now we can let sleeping dogs lie...

...whether or not, (over at "Villa Enabler"), "...the lying dogs sleep!"

3 Texts this AM from WW asking to talk. I will respond, EVENTUALLY, and now am prepared for more "fog babble" Gonna take my time to respond. I AM SO BUSY!!

"when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near"

Thanks everybody!!

Plan A needs face time.

"Talk" doesn't mean by phone, text or email.

Your only response, perhaps (if others agree or don't have something better)

"I agree...how about we meet at Panera Bread at 7?"

* someplace off beat yet trendy for you to pick...don't suggest your favorite place for dinner or anyplace romantic. Panera HAS food but you could be implying just a coffee meeting.

*Have something to do at 8 pm so you have a deadline to get out of there that you announce when you get there. You want her to get a dose of the new attentive listening you...and then you leave with her wanting more...but you HAVE TO run. [edit to add - then you stay an extra 15 minutes to demonstrate that she's more important than anyone else..though late...you still have to run)

*If she texts back no but wants to continue the conversation by text/phone, just indicate "To busy to chat, maybe later" and leave it open ended. Later she'll text again asking "to talk" and you'll be able to use the same play "How about Pizza Hut at 8 pm"

How convenient that you both have in-law baby sitters right now


Also...when asking your wife to do something fun...indicate that you BOTH need a break from this tension and madness and you'd just like to go out for some drinks or dinner with her and hang out....NO RELATIONSHIP TALK. You need a break. If this is going to be your last spring/summer married "we" (you and her) ought to make it a good one and try to break up this pressure cooker with a release valve every now and then. Also...it would perhaps be good for the kids to see us smiling together once in awhile. This doesn't have to be a war ALL THE TIME. Then...if you get her out...you follow through. You DON'T initiate relationship talk (and surprisingly SHE THEN WILL). Also, when she starts relationship talk...no matter how much you want to talk you've got to be the one to focus the attention AWAY from seriousness and back to having fun. Anyway..I'm getting ahead of myself.


MR W

*stellar* Plan A advice.
Why?
Because you focus on WW's love bank.
Endless circular relationship talks are love bank withdrawals.

Besides..."relationship talk" with a fogged out wayward isn't much fun. It's all too often focused on your (the betrayed spouses) endless shortcomings. Things your spouse will forever regret saying LATER ON.

Remember...you can't TEACH a wayward. You are simply the lighthouse leading them out of the fog. Changing/repenting is their job after the fog clears.

Edit to add: Actually...I went INTO the fog to help pull my wife out. Her and I went out and partied like we did when we were in our 20's. We actually had some legitimate good times mixed in there.