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I called the parents. I called some church leaders and emailed the board of leaders. Good job!
When I start sending FB messages I end them 1 at a time to each contact? From my account or my WW account? I found the following tips in a post by Melodylane:
"Facebook exposure: Should be done to the affair partner�s facebook friends via private message. This is a very, very effective exposure because it is a collection of the AP�s closest friends and family. SPACE THE PM�S OUT 60 SECONDS APART SO FB DOES NOT SHUT YOU DOWN FOR FLOODING. Before you begin, copy and paste all the contacts into a WORD doc. Change your fb picture to a picture of you and your spouse and children."
I believe the exposure emails should come from your FB account (not your wife's) and I think the purpose of copying and pasting OM's contacts into a Word document is to make sure you'll still have them in case he blocks your access to his FB contacts list.
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I called the parents. I called some church leaders and emailed the board of leaders.
When I start sending FB messages I end them 1 at a time to each contact? From my account or my WW account? Yes, one at a time from your own account. And some you may have to pay a $1 to send to their inbox. Just to be straight, in plan A then, I...
expose the affair--if WW leaves I go to plan B
demand she stop the affair--if WW leaves I go to plan B
call out my WW every time I discover she sees the OP--if WW leaves I go to plan B You should stick to Plan A. And in Plan A you demand she end the affair or this will lead to divorce. Every time she goes to see the OM, call her out and make sure you pay the OM a visit. If you know she is going to meet him, then go with her. Do everything you can to ruin the visit. But I predict that your exposure to the OM's GF and his workplace and his parents will be enough to run him off. Don't concern yourself with Plan B at this point. Just focus on Plan A, which is to kill the affair. If I do all that and she will stay at home I just keep up the carrot work too. We will have you do carrot stuff too even if she leaves. I doubt she will leave, and even if she does, she will be back soon.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Is there a link with a little more clarity on how to do the exposure on FB? I have read 10 pages of Exposure 101 and I am not seeing it.
I PM WW contacts? Can my wife see it/them? How do people "like" it? Confused about this action? Your goal is to expose the affair to anyone and everyone who may be able to influence your wife and OM to end the affair. Your wife and OM will find out about your exposure once it begins, because your exposure targets should begin contacting them and pressuring them to end the affair. If you expose far and wide--without forewarning your wife or OM--it's possible to end an affair the same day you expose it. Fingers crossed!
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OK. I have confronted my WW 4 times now over continuing to see the OM. She is starting to complain of me crowding her and saying she needs space and that maybe she should move out. She tells me she wants to go but she cannot stand to hurt everyone and is afraid i will kill the OM.
So....I just assume she will leave if I push the issue.
I have been trying to keep her home at all costs basically.
Me: BH 42
Her: WW 41
Married 23 years
D-Day March 2, 2013
E-Day April 8, 2013
5 Kids ages 16-22, 3 boys & 2 girls
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OK. I have confronted my WW 4 times now over continuing to see the OM. She is starting to complain of me crowding her and saying she needs space and that maybe she should move out. She tells me she wants to go but she cannot stand to hurt everyone and is afraid i will kill the OM.
So....I just assume she will leave if I push the issue.
I have been trying to keep her home at all costs basically. It will be different this time because you are exposing the affair everywhere. Your exposure may well kill the affair. But you need to stay focused and get this done today so you can move onto next steps. Have you exposed to the OM's girlfriend, the workplace and your children? What about the OM's faccbook contacts? Are you exposing to his parents and family members? Those will likely be the most impactful exposures. And I would get them all done today. She might leave, which is unlikely, but if she does she won't be gone for long. Your exposure efforts will cause a massive blow to the affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Get the exposure finished, let the fallout occur.
No need to plan for what may or may not happen.
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I sent an email to about 200 contacts of friends and family.
I send about 100 PMs on facebook. I have about 300 left.
The OM had blocked access to his FB when i checked this am--he has been scared i would try to kill him or a family member though I have never been mean or disrespectful or threatened such a thing outright to him. I am working on numbers for his family and will send emails and letters to his company on Tuesday.
She is getting hoards of calls and texts now. I had such a nice lunch with her today--still now was the best time. She is F bomb mad now and said she is not coming home.
Tons of support is rolling in now too, and a lot of calls to see if I have been hacked--a lot of people do not believe she was capable of it.
Me: BH 42
Her: WW 41
Married 23 years
D-Day March 2, 2013
E-Day April 8, 2013
5 Kids ages 16-22, 3 boys & 2 girls
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MTW, have you been able to contact his GF? What about your children?
When you say you have 300 left, what do you mean? To the OM's facebook contacts?
And have you been able to access his contacts by signing in under another name to see if you can see his contacts?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I send about 100 PMs on facebook. I have about 300 left. If you mean to your wife's facebook contacts, I would stop and focus on exposing to the OM's contacts, his GF, his workplace and your children. Your wife needs to be getting calls from your children tonight. AND her parents. Will her parents call her and try to persuade her to end her affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yeah, the kids know. They have known for a week or so. I'll have them call/txt.
She hates my Dad so I did not have him call. Told him, but did not ask he call.
I asked her mom, brother, and sister to call tonight.
A friend is trying to talk her out of going to the OM's house and is taking her out to dinner.
I have nothing on the OM right now--working on numbers--he has just 1 son at home, the rest are adults and they have all locked up their FBs.
Me: BH 42
Her: WW 41
Married 23 years
D-Day March 2, 2013
E-Day April 8, 2013
5 Kids ages 16-22, 3 boys & 2 girls
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I have nothing on the OM right now--working on numbers--he has just 1 son at home, the rest are adults and they have all locked up their FBs. Do you know the name of his girlfriend? Can you find her on facebook? What about his parents? And I would send out emails tonight to his HR Director, a key Vice President and anyone else at work who would be significant. And if he has you blocked on facebook, can you try and get to his contact list by signing out? Can a friend go on their facebook page to see if they can see his contacts?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Also do a background check pretty simple to do and some are really inexpensive.
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I do not know the girlfriend's name.
I looked at his FB under another user--it is all private now.
I have a people report with 7 names of relatives but I am not finding much.
I will send the work emails tonight.
Me: BH 42
Her: WW 41
Married 23 years
D-Day March 2, 2013
E-Day April 8, 2013
5 Kids ages 16-22, 3 boys & 2 girls
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I have a people report with 7 names of relatives but I am not finding much. Can you do a search on facebook for those people?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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MTW, One deep source is the company email list, if Joe Dirt bag works for XYXcorp.com, just search "@XYZcorp.com", and you will likely pull up tons of names. Also www.linkedin.com ! God Bless Gamma
Last edited by Gamma; 04/08/13 08:18 PM.
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I searched the names, but they are all private--he was scared I'd kill him last week.
I think I have a Dads phone number.
My wife is asking me why? Is there a good answer that sounds less controlling?
How long shall i expect her to be irate?
Thanks folks.
Me: BH 42
Her: WW 41
Married 23 years
D-Day March 2, 2013
E-Day April 8, 2013
5 Kids ages 16-22, 3 boys & 2 girls
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I think I have a Dads phone number. Can you call it?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My wife is asking me why? Is there a good answer that sounds less controlling? "My goal is bring your affair out into the open. Your affair has caused me and the kids so much pain that I will do what it takes to end it."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I did, pretty sure it is mom and dad, but no answer...yet.
Me: BH 42
Her: WW 41
Married 23 years
D-Day March 2, 2013
E-Day April 8, 2013
5 Kids ages 16-22, 3 boys & 2 girls
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Yeah, that is pretty much what i said.
Do you ever feel like you are taking care of scared little babies...I feel like one
Me: BH 42
Her: WW 41
Married 23 years
D-Day March 2, 2013
E-Day April 8, 2013
5 Kids ages 16-22, 3 boys & 2 girls
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