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I would be absolutely SHOCKED SHOCKED SHOCKED if my wife told anyone i was abusive. That would be the up-most definite proof that she is gone absolutely crazy. It is a CLASSIC tactic of wayward wives. And it is almost NEVER TRUE. They need to demonize their husbands in order to justify their affair. Most betrayed husbands are SHOCKED SHOCKED SHOCKED to find out they have been portrayed as "abusers!"
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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At this point I guess I wouldn't put anything past her.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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I just called, talked to OM's sister. She took my # and the mother is going to call me when she gets home if she isn't too tired. If I don't hear from her tonight, I will try calling tomorrow after church. Good. How old is OM's sister? Does she know of the affair?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I have no idea, she sounded very young - like a teenager.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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I have no idea, she sounded very young - like a teenager. What about the father? Was he home? He's the bishop. I would talk to him.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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No he wasn't home. I figured the Mom would probably be super sympathetic to me if I was balling over the phone to her, and then she would relay the message to the husband.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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No he wasn't home. I figured the Mom would probably be super sympathetic to me if I was balling over the phone to her, and then she would relay the message to the husband. Don't cry on the phone to her!! Just tell her about the affair, ask if she knows what is going on and ask her if she will persuade her son to leave your wife alone. Be very straightforward and calm.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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No he wasn't home. I figured the Mom would probably be super sympathetic to me if I was balling over the phone to her, and then she would relay the message to the husband. I think they will both be very sympathetic to you. They will be very disappointed with their son. You need to keep your composure. Do not cry.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I will try not to cry.. We'll see what happens.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Paging Ms Hurts, Ms BrainHurts:
I'm of the opinion that this thread could use a reference to the "Schmoopies" site. Here you go. Soul Mate ShmoopiesJust tell her about the affair and ask her if they will support you and your marriage by putting pressure on her son. Did you get a chance to watch the soul mate shmoopie video? I think you need some laughter.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 513
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I just talked to the Dad for 20 minutes. They are doing EVERYTHING they can to convince the OM to end the relationship. They are very supportive of me.
Last edited by OddJob123; 05/04/13 11:02 PM.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I just talked to the Dad for 20 minutes. They are doing EVERYTHING they can to convince the OM to end the relationship. They are very supportive of me.  So very proud of you!! Good job, my friend!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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So ya.. Pressure on his family's side to end the relationship. I also found out that the OM is indeed living with his parents right now, but is about to move out into his own apartment. (his parents are trying to convince him to stay at home).
I am moving into the old house on Tuesday - which is the perfect storm for my WWS to move into the apartment with him. This is a good thing, right?
Last edited by OddJob123; 05/04/13 11:07 PM.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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So ya.. Pressure on his family's side to end the relationship. I also found out that the OM is indeed living with his parents right now, but is about to move out into his own apartment. (his parents are trying to convince him to stay at home). Oh boy, that is awesome!! The OM will get an earful about his affair tonight. I am moving into the old house on Tuesday - which is the perfect storm for my WWS to move into the apartment with him. This is a good thing, right? you got it! And they will be isolated because his parents won't let him bring his adultery partner around. He will be ostracized by his family. And when that happens, the bar will RAISE. He will expect MORE from her to repay for his sacrifices. But once they start living together the fantasy will die fast and when that happens the affair will crumble. Without fantasy, there is nothing to hold the relationship together because it is based on thoughtlessness, selfishness and deceit. Adulterers have horrible, horrible fights when they shack up because they are renters.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just talked to the Dad for 20 minutes. They are doing EVERYTHING they can to convince the OM to end the relationship. They are very supportive of me. So very proud of you!! Good job, my friend!! X2. You're doing so well.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 513
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Baby steps.. Monday I will change the locks, and I actually might just move in Monday too as long as the OM isn't there. Why wait? Tuesday I will call the lawyer and let them know that the business they work for has not gotten back to me, and I want to at least have the lawyer call and talk to them / threaten lawsuit. As soon as my wife gives me divorce papers, I will have the lawyer call the OM and threaten lawsuit.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Baby steps.. Monday I will change the locks, and I actually might just move in Monday too as long as the OM isn't there. Why wait? I agree! If the OM is there, escort him right to the door and if he resists, call the police and have him removed. Tuesday I will call the lawyer and let them know that the business they work for has not gotten back to me, and I want to at least have the lawyer call and talk to them / threaten lawsuit. As soon as my wife gives me divorce papers, I will have the lawyer call the OM and threaten lawsuit. About the divorce papers, I would not sign or do anything with them. Make her hire an attorney and have you served. Just refuse to cooperate all the way down the line.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He probably won't get an earful tonight, as I'm pretty sure he's over at my old house right now with my wife. I'm guessing he won't go back to his parents until tomorrow night.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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He probably won't get an earful tonight, as I'm pretty sure he's over at my old house right now with my wife. I'm guessing he won't go back to his parents until tomorrow night. Oh MY. That piece of crap is shacking up in your house? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm just realizing the continued pain and suffering I am putting myself through to have the slimmest chance of saving my marriage. I would like to think it is a testament of how much I love her. I could end my pain so much faster if I just went NC and forgot about her and tried to find someone else. But I feel like I would be betraying my marriage vows if I did that.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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