|
|
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373 |
no I can't put spyware on her phone because she and I are now separated...un-legally. I am most likely going to see an attorney today after work...the day before my birthday...happy birthday to me.
He doesn't have a drug or criminal background
ME\30
WW\28
DD\3
For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Concentrate on plan a.
What emotional needs can you meet today?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373 |
That makes sense. A day before my birthday and they came over with an ice cream cake, and some McDonalds lunch. We talked about a whole bunch of stuff.
I replaced the kitchen faucet, cleaned up the house and dress in a certain sweater and she gave me a compliment on it.
I am not sure how to meet her other emotional needs, because I can't hold her hand or anything, or she won't let me. I did compliment her on her outfit.
ME\30
WW\28
DD\3
For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Is the phone in your name? If it is, have you called your provider?
What are her top ENs? What did you do when you were dating?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Just remember, as you try to make small love bank deposits, AVOID love busters like disrespectful judgements and angry outbursts (which cause massive love bank withdrawls)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373 |
Her top emotional needs would be attention and admiration and affection would be at the top probably.
ME\30
WW\28
DD\3
For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
Her top emotional needs would be attention and admiration and affection would be at the top probably. What did you do when you were dating to meet her ENs? Does she like when you write her notes/letters?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373 |
I am starting to understand; It's like I am moving almost pass the affair and into recovery mode alone while she is in the fog. I do the things that make her draw to me and then she wakes up and she starts to work on herself and then back into the mode to recovery of the marriage. I believe that's what I am understanding.
ME\30
WW\28
DD\3
For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373 |
Thank you Mrs.W.
I am grateful for all the support but I think I might of messed things up. The affair is over as far as I know and today on my birthday we spent some time together. As I was taking her back to her parents house I said Can I have a kiss for my birthday. She seem to be shocked and asked that you would want a kiss from me, and I said it would make it a great birthday. Well... I got a kiss and then some. We end up having sex...
For some reason I think I messed things up by having sex with her. What is your opinion on this?
ME\30
WW\28
DD\3
For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
What does she say when you ask her to come home?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
He absolutely did say this in a recent radio show. He also explained that unconditional love cannot last in marriage and that is why he typically recommends a 6 month cap on unconditional love
Last edited by Jedi_Knight; 11/15/13 11:27 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
Thank you Mrs.W.
I am grateful for all the support but I think I might of messed things up. The affair is over as far as I know and today on my birthday we spent some time together. As I was taking her back to her parents house I said Can I have a kiss for my birthday. She seem to be shocked and asked that you would want a kiss from me, and I said it would make it a great birthday. Well... I got a kiss and then some. We end up having sex...
For some reason I think I messed things up by having sex with her. What is your opinion on this? As a general rule, in Plan A this would be favorable because you were hopefully meeting her emotional need of sexual fulfillment. Emotional needs being met = love bank deposits. On a more practical side, om may be sleeping with prostitutes and others and you just exchanged bodily fluids (including any STDs with him and all of them) However you should not consider the affair ended until she has agreed to never see or speak to him again. In my case, during my wifes first break up with OM, she hugged me and iy was comforting. I was an emotional wreck. But she was secretly still in contact and ended up returning to OM so don't consider it over until she agrees to recovery
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 373 |
I have not asked her to come home. I figure that would be a negative deposit and be a Love Buster. I didn't think sexual fulfillment would be one of her needs and it does worry me about the STD's... and then my mind was like, am I better lover than him. I had a nightmare/bad dream and I was filled with anger during it.
In my dream the OM apparently had keys to my house. I was going to go over there and demand he give me the key to my house. Such a horrible feeling/experience.
Last edited by ChristianSamuari; 11/16/13 08:11 AM.
ME\30
WW\28
DD\3
For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316 |
He absolutely did say this in a recent radio show. He also explained that unconditional love cannot last in marriage and that is why he typically recommends a 6 month cap on unconditional love Ahhhh, okay. Thank you for the further explanation, Jedi -- less likely to be misinterpreted. Much appreciated!  Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316 |
Thank you Mrs.W.
I am grateful for all the support but I think I might of messed things up. The affair is over as far as I know and today on my birthday we spent some time together. As I was taking her back to her parents house I said Can I have a kiss for my birthday. She seem to be shocked and asked that you would want a kiss from me, and I said it would make it a great birthday. Well... I got a kiss and then some. We end up having sex...
For some reason I think I messed things up by having sex with her. What is your opinion on this? Not a mistake to have SF with your wife, CS -- though I would take precautions to protect your health in this department. Do all that you can to confirm and insure that the affair is indeed over. Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
I have not asked her to come home. I figure that would be a negative deposit and be a Love Buster. I didn't think sexual fulfillment would be one of her needs and it does worry me about the STD's... and then my mind was like, am I better lover than him. I had a nightmare/bad dream and I was filled with anger during it.
In my dream the OM apparently had keys to my house. I was going to go over there and demand he give me the key to my house. Such a horrible feeling/experience. I've had similar dreams. You're doing a good job. Arr you seeing her tomorrow? What emotional needs can you meet tomorrow?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (SadNewYorker),
298
guests, and
71
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
