I thought OM #2 didnt work with her?
Is he the relative or the one she confessed to having anal sex with?
I thought that guy was gone?

My main focus is to make love bank deposits and destroy the affair but also to make me seem less judgmental right now. I have a feeling once she gets closer and is willing to recover, then we can sit down and discuss what changes are needed to make this marriage to work.

She will have to learn and understand what is Just Compensation to make this marriage work.

I gave her credit in telling me some things even though she has still not proven to be trust worthy yet but these little steps I think should reward her a little, in compliments so she can feel safe and like she can talk to me.

It bothered me when she said she didn't read his text and just deleted it but that makes me feel like its somewhat of a lie, and I feel like she should of said I have to go instead of staying.

But I am living as if I am prepared to work on this marriage or I can move on. Once she is made up her mind to commit, I am going to sit her down and say NC letters to both men and job change and all. With this job she has, there is no way to spend some time together and meet each others emotional needs.

My Relative is the one she had the 2 year affair and anal sex with.
The OM is a former co-worker she had sex twice with between her LTA. He had left the job before their fling.

Who did she just see at the coworker lunch outing?
The relative or the other guy?

the other guy

Well there is more to this story of the lunch.
He didnt just magically appear and the coworkers that invited her did so knowingly.

She claimed that no one but the OM#2's friend knew because he had to invite him. Her friend who told her to go to counseling didn't know he was there.

In fact, only me, and her parents knew of this guy.

Too late to edit but I believe her that no one knew he was coming but the OM#2's friend. Anyway, I think she didn't handle this situation correctly. She should of left when he showed up.

I am not going to say anything until later.
1. It was over 24 hours she took to tell me.,
2. She didn't show me text which shows lack of credibility.
3. She should of got me alone to talk and came home right away instead of going to the store afterwards.


Again, PLAN A. Make Love deposits and stop love bustering.

You should expose this mans family and married. friends.
You never exposed to this mans family

He lives with his Mother. That's it. He's a freaking janitor at some highschool.

Then I would contact his mother and ask her to keep her son away from ypur wife

It seems like your more in plan CS rather than Plan A. It appears that you are taking zero action in trying to break up the active affair nor demanding no contact with past OM. This is all part of plan A you are omitting. You can't cherry pick the program and ezpect it to recover your marriage.

Dr Harley states, "Even slight deveations from the program will be disastrous."

Ok,I will have to find out where he lives and all. I am trying to follow the plan to the T. I do not want to deviate. I will investigate into this guy. I have his personal number...Should I contact him or no?

Did you expose to his mother? Who on his side did you expose to?

Brainhurts,

He hasn't exposed to anyone.

Contact him the same day you expose to his mother and any relatives you find.

If his mother has a facebook account expose to her friends also.

On OM's side?

On WW's side, correct?

He told his father in law.
Thats it

My mother in law knows and my father in law knows about this OM. I am trying to find his address.

Is there a good system I can use to try and find out info about him.