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Most of the people family and friends know.
This is easier said than done. The mind is filled with what if and consequences that will unfold, scenarios that I am not sure will happen do to my actions.

She has gone no contact and yet we are separated.
I want to do what is right, and yes, truthful. I am going to reach out to Dr. Harley.

And honestly, I haven't been following anyone else's just been sticking with Plan A to my best and trying to figure out what I should be doing as well. I want get my marriage back, and I am trying hard to follow this plan.


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For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy
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Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
This is easier said than done. The mind is filled with what if and consequences that will unfold, scenarios that I am not sure will happen do to my actions.



And honestly, I haven't been following anyone else's just been sticking with Plan A to my best and trying to figure out what I should be doing as well. I want get my marriage back, and I am trying hard to follow this plan.

Well, its a good thing you arent a Samurai in ancient Japan during war...standing on the battlefield thinking about what to do as the enemy is rushing towards you.

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Thanks... But she is NC. We are just separated because she doesn't know if were both committed to it...


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No, I seriously doubt that she is "No contact" with the other men.
She told you that the coworkers tried to set her up with one of her affair partners; she works in the same job that facilitated a prior affair; she is living an independent life doing as she pleases...

While you are at home trying to decide if you should expose or not.

She's in full control and you're on the sidelines. Her lifestyle doesn't make NC possible and you have no way of knowing, other than trusting her words

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Your right...makes me wonder am I wasting my time, and yours. Maybe I should just throw in the towel...


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Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
Your right...makes me wonder am I wasting my time, and yours. Maybe I should just throw in the towel...

PSSHAW! Your a friggin samurai with christian beliefs right?! Exposure SHOULD BE DONE BY YOU! This shows your WW you care about her and want the truth out. The fake facebook thing isn't a samurai tactic. It's a weasel way out for a check in the box! Stop deluding yourself about NC by her "words". CS, guess what I am a millionaire that saved a bus load of orphans from the Red Skull! See my point words are pointless.

She is cake eating at your expense and you are enabling it. Going to other sites are a waste of our time and more importantly yours. You get up every morning at the crack of dawn to go to work but you can't face the POSOM that is banging your wife? What does this say to your WW? It says my job is more important than my family and marriage so do what you want cause I am too busy to meet your needs.

You need to confront that POSOM using the tools we suggested to you, you need to expose fully and let everyone know it is you that is exposing and that is the reason your and your wife are separated. You have a daughter do you kno the rate of molestation doubles when single moms meet men in relationships?

Stop the excuses and pity parties, you can do this. Follow the advice given to you here to the letter and have a plan. Because right now your not following a plan your just being reactive instead of being proactive.

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JEDI... I AM GOING TO PROVE YOU WRONG. I CONFRONTING TODAY!

I am a great samurai. I can stand up for my marriage. I no longer will just sit here. I am going to go to his house and to his mom.

I am going to say "For a couple of months, your son and my wife had an affair. I want your son to stop talking to my wife in any shape, form or fashion because it is tearing my family apart."

Is that okay to say?

Time to man up.


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Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
JEDI... I AM GOING TO PROVE YOU WRONG. I CONFRONTING TODAY!

I am a great samurai. I can stand up for my marriage. I no longer will just sit here. I am going to go to his house and to his mom.

I am going to say "For a couple of months, your son and my wife had an affair. I want your son to stop talking to my wife in any shape, form or fashion because it is tearing my family apart."

Is that okay to say?

Time to man up.

Do you have proof of the affair make sure you bring it. List it here first please, as you don't want to give away your snooping tactics.

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All I have for proof is phone numbers/texts (non-detailed) and my WW confirmation.

Is that Good enough?

Last edited by ChristianSamuari; 03/20/14 10:37 AM.

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Yep -- her admission is enough...

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I agree just keep your cool. Don't tell her that you talked to POSOM mother unless she asks. If she finds out then without your confirmation then you know there's still contact.

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It be interesting if he does contact her, because I blocked his number from calling or texting my wife and the ability to call or text his number.


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then how will it be "interesting"?
how will you know?

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Because if my wife confronts me about then that means they are still in contact with one another through some source...most likely facebook...


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Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
It be interesting if he does contact her, because I blocked his number from calling or texting my wife and the ability to call or text his number.

Yea, I blocked my wife from calling Om too...she went and bought a very cheap affair phone from Walmart. She also used a pay phone and calling card.
Since you live separated, you have no way of knowing if she is in contact with him.

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I guess if I confront OM I shouldn't ask if has been in contact with her, because he will probably just lie.

I will tell him to not contact her if he is there.


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I am going to their house around 7pm... Going to be strong and do this!


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Well, I did and no lie. 8:01 my wife called me because he texted her. He must have a different number. And now she is more than upset.


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I am really starting to think this is not paying off. This is starting to feel like a dumb thing. She is more than upset and says I haven't changed. I am standing up for my marriage I told her. She said that is not the way you do it.


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Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
Well, I did and no lie. 8:01 my wife called me because he texted her. He must have a different number. And now she is more than upset.
You went to OM's house?

What happened there?

He is still contacting her? The affair is still on. She hasn't changed her contact information?


FWW/BW (me)
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2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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