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Originally Posted by MrWondering
I don't know the whole history between y'all but do you think he'd be receptive to the notion???

Seems he has some skin in this game. He stands to lose his biggest benefactor should the two of you divorce. How about you put the house you currently live in up for sale and tell FIL that you are moving in with him.

Being separated from your children isn't the way to go about this. She doesn't get to cheat AND make you a part time dad at the same time. Custody should be 50-50.

I haven't thought about that. Where we live, I be surprised if I can get anything for our house.


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For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy
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Also, can I send a letter to the place Om's work and exploit them in some action. Like my relative didn't have his own car and most likely used company vehicle.


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Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
Also, can I send a letter to the place Om's work and exploit them in some action. Like my relative didn't have his own car and most likely used company vehicle.

I don't know what this means.

As far as the house, putting it up for sale and actually selling it are two different things. You could maybe even get your wife involved in helping you prepare the place for sale. Give you projects to do together to fix it up and organize it. Maybe after it's fixed up you decide to stay. Guys got a right to change his mind. Maybe you follow through and sell such that you two can leave the bad memories behind and start anew in a new home.

In order to show the place...you want to get it staged and then move to in laws so you don't mess it up. How can they refuse when YOU pay the mortgage???? If a great offer comes in...maybe you take it. List the price high and shoot for the stars. Maybe you'll find a desperate buyer that wants your property. In the meantime, you'll have a place to go back to if living together doesn't work out and you do decide to go to Plan B.

Mr. W


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Should I send letter to my Relatives job stating that I will be suing for the use of vehicle to have an affair with my wife?


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Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
Well, later I said I am going through some pictures on my computer and going to delete them. She said you should put them on a disc. I said no, their tainted, and have fake memories because she is wearing the OM's necklace in it.

Send the 2x4's!

Delete the pictures.
You need to get that crap out of your life.

Dr. Harley recommends to NOT discuss the affair; HOWEVER she has never agreed to Extraordinary Precautions or writing a no contact letter(s) so just tread along in Plan A.

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Originally Posted by MrWondering
Sure she made the ultimate decision to cheat which was incredible hurtful and destructive but we both contributed greatly to the condition of our marriage that made cheating possible and as a man, I feel more responsible and accept more blame for that mistake than I put on my wife.

Biblically, the Husband should be the spiritual leader of the home and when sin enters in its usually because the husband is not on the right path with God.

So Samurai keep your mind clean and your feet on the right path

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Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
Also, can I send a letter to the place Om's work and exploit them in some action. Like my relative didn't have his own car and most likely used company vehicle.

Yes, you can expose that he used company resources while carrying on an affair with your wife.
Have you posted him on www.cheaterville.com? You can list the company he works for there.

Really, the exposure should have been done 6 months ago.

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Originally Posted by MrWondering
Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
Also, can I send a letter to the place Om's work and exploit them in some action. Like my relative didn't have his own car and most likely used company vehicle.

I don't know what this means.

As far as the house, putting it up for sale and actually selling it are two different things. You could maybe even get your wife involved in helping you prepare the place for sale. Give you projects to do together to fix it up and organize it. Maybe after it's fixed up you decide to stay. Guys got a right to change his mind. Maybe you follow through and sell such that you two can leave the bad memories behind and start anew in a new home.

In order to show the place...you want to get it staged and then move to in laws so you don't mess it up. How can they refuse when YOU pay the mortgage???? If a great offer comes in...maybe you take it. List the price high and shoot for the stars. Maybe you'll find a desperate buyer that wants your property. In the meantime, you'll have a place to go back to if living together doesn't work out and you do decide to go to Plan B.

Mr. W


This is a great idea, Samurai.
This would get you back under the same roof with your wife.

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Well, I finally hack my WW laptop. I am going to install key logger and an app to retrieve old deleted files


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I found all these old text files from her Iphone Backup.


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I am not going to say anything but I am going to back all this up.


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Should I go in plan b now because of this new information that has come to light and a possible phone is out there somewhere hidden.

I thought I read somewhere there is a place that all Waywards love to hide their affair phones.


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If I do plan B, can Jedi or someone be my IM. I don't trust family on either side to keep their end or follow through exactly.


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That is your decision, however your Plan B needs to be planned. I have repeatedly asked you about getting custody of your daughter. In Plan B your DS should be with you as waywards are horrible parents. Keep those text messages and I would print them out and show them to your in laws. I would also see about getting your name off that house as well. That is ridiculous of you to take care of her parents in that matter. That last sentence is a personal opinion.

Are the text messages from the same OM? Or are there are more? If there are the same OM I would personally hand deliver the messages to OM's mom. Have you done a background check on this guy? If not I suggest you do, I suspect your daughter has or will be in the future around this POSOM and you have the right to know based on that alone. Also, may help you secure custody. POSOM that have affairs with married women usually are the bottom of the barrel type of people. Drug dealers, criminals, etc.

While you prepare for Plan B you should be in Plan A. I would also visit a lawyer about the custody issue and the fact that her affair den is her parents house and legally its your property. Have you gotten a response from Dr. Harley yet? I would email him this new information as well as it may change your course of action.

Lastly, I am sorry that you are going through this but now you know her "civil" actions where a front for a continuing affair. All is not lost though, waywards are "cake eaters". They enjoy the attention from their spouse as well as their affair partner. That being said you are meeting her needs and POSOM is meeting some as well. Keep in mind that you are meeting the majority. Improve yourself for the sake of your daughter.

added: Keep in mind that most of the time Dr. Harley's advice to men is to Plan A until divorce and then Plan B. Thats because men can handle the emotional rollercoaster long than women, typically. By handle I mean without adverse effects to their health. If you feel that you can handle it, Plan A. No one will think your less of a man if you can't. I have heard an affair for a BS is like losing a child.

Last edited by TranquilDark; 03/25/14 06:58 AM.
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Thanks TD. I am going to continue plan A. I have to do a few things. Now I got some pics, I have to put OM on cheaterville and write the harley's and do some more snooping around the house or somewhere to find the phone, if there is one.


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I would keep all my evidence in a safe deposit box. Don't keep it at your house or car.

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Also, what would getting custody of my daughter do if I can't watch her right now? I am not sure they would grant me custody because I work 76+ miles away. Maryland is very finicky about those things.


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There are afterschool programs and day care. You won't be the first person to have their child in daycare. I would look for daycare in the area where you work not where you live. Also, does WW have access to your bank accounts, financial accounts, etc? This affair phone a smartphone? Were the text messages from the phone you know about?

Last edited by TranquilDark; 03/25/14 08:54 AM.
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Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
Should I go in plan b now because of this new information that has come to light and a possible phone is out there somewhere hidden.

I thought I read somewhere there is a place that all Waywards love to hide their affair phones.

No, I think Dr. Harley would encourage you to continue in Plan A.
IF you are at the end of your rope emotionally and physically then consider Plan B.

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Originally Posted by ChristianSamuari
Thanks TD. I am going to continue plan A. I have to do a few things. Now I got some pics, I have to put OM on cheaterville and write the harley's and do some more snooping around the house or somewhere to find the phone, if there is one.

Make sure you post the pictures on cheaterville, too. (If it will not expose your snooping methods)

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