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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
That's why Dr. Harley recommends Plan B a dark Plan B. Probably not being dark enough. I think some people have been relaying back my pain and negative emotions. Need to guard myself more and show the positive
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 296
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 296 |
That's why Dr. Harley recommends Plan B a dark Plan B. Probably not being dark enough. I think some people have been relaying back my pain and negative emotions. Need to guard myself more and show the positive You being dark means for you to be dark about her as well so you can withdrawal and not be affected by her in any way. Anytime you hear about her its only going to do harm and torture you.
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Yes I totally agree. I end up torturing myself. I just want to go home but its not there anymore. Just can't seem to switch it off. Give me an hour I will be fine again!
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Just read on another thread 'fake it til you make it'. Too right until then my grief goes here!
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Just had a meltdown with a friend who speaks to ww. They haven't spoken to her yet but trying to encourage me to speak to WW to see how I stand. Wobbling on the negativity and lack of hope with a lot of angry outbursts. Also just getting people asking about me and how I am as I've moved out. I can see the need now to withdraw as my heads not right for this now. I moved out as my mental state was getting worse. As I've stated and been rightly told everything is still raw and unstable. Need to switch them all off and get my right.
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Had to reply to one message asking if I was ok. I simply put 'I didn't want to move out but as my wife didn't want to end her affair and work on our marriage it was all I could do to preserve my love for her'.
As my anger subsides I realise still I need to stay my course if only to retain my self respect
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
6 miles in 60 minutes! Need to be up to 10 by October. Time limit set! Should not of stopped for a smoke half way!
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
I dont know how you can run 6 miles and take a smoke break.
Those cancer sticks make running difficult
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Joking about the smoke break! Don't find myself out of breath although I could up my pace it's strength building I need (funny that)! Been building up same route and its getting easier every time. Uh oh I see an analogy coming......
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,650
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Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,650 |
Make sure your taking care of your feet. I recommend a pedicure and foot massage monthly. That's awesome your running its very fun and relieves a lot of stress. Now you need to stop using those white cancer sticks of death lol
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Sometimes I roll sometimes its the tailor made, its another little thing to keep the mind busy and away from dwelling on other people.
Ordered some weights, another thing to keep me busy. My jobs not very physical so with this spare time on my hands I may as well try something
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
What part of 'I don't want to know' do people not understand? Just been reliably informed WS is engaged in 'flirty' communication with someone else! Funny thing is I kind of find it funny she is cheating on those who she cheated on me with.
And it's weird as it doesn't actually bother me that much. She's already done the damage and as many a poster has put 'she's been replaced by an alien'. I'm all about me for now and if my wife comes back I will worry about that then.
Had to share this or it would rattle round my head messing it up!
Now back to me! May just have a smoke and howl at the moon!
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Further feedback. Wife misses me and was surprised I left.
Yes misses her cake and surprised how? When she was threatening me daily with divorce and running out to meet OM. Pressure is mounting on affair.
Not on me, whatever's happening I'm taking some me time!
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Also found out OM didn't want WS to reveal A to me. Says a lot for that commitment. Also she is 'happy' at moment, but also worried all I will do is hold this over her. Don't worry I'm not going to go in and make contact I have to let her live with her decisions as it all comes tumbling down around her and the house continues to get bigger. I know getting this info goes against a dark plan B but knowing kind of makes me feel better for my decision to leave. Whatever's going on we need space from each other and I need this 'me' time
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,440 Likes: 4 |
How are you finding these things out if you're in Plan B?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
A work colleague who speaks to her has passed on info. It's like I'm the addict myself don't want to know but can't help it!
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Tough to get going today. Exercise is tiring to body but not the heart and mind. Downside of getting any info. I see she still sees no wrong in what she is doing and has no idea of the pain she has caused me. It's just another day for her. I know I have to let this play out and even then there's no guarantees to getting things back. I feel vengeful one moment pitiable the next. Oh well see what a 14 hour shift can do to my spirits
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Again scratch last post. I'm stuck in a vicious circle of emotion. The marriage I had is gone. Need to let this play out. 'Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone'.
Things need to start again. Things need to go back to the start. Which is why NC is best. Resist the urge to call/text/mail everything. Make the change in me and if its meant to be, start with the friendship first. I'm not a vengeful person or I would of put this to bed by now. It's only 3 weeks today (2 if you include hiccup) next it will be only 6 weeks. I don't know how I will feel in half hour just need to try and get on with it
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239 |
A work colleague who speaks to her has passed on info. It's like I'm the addict myself don't want to know but can't help it! You are in a BAD work environment. One of the OM works for your company and your wife knows the co-workers. I would expose the OM to the company and then work on getting another job. You can't get away from her while remaining at that place.
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 340 |
Been looking for a different job for last year. Can't afford a pay cut especially now. Wife used to work in same company so everybody seems to know our business. I'm in a bad place full stop. If I try and shut everyone out my head will explode
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