Reading SAA is an excellent idea. Please have you and your WH read it ASAP.

That's good that you are POJAing a job. What kind of jobs would you be enthusiastic about that is all male?

We read SAA out loud together again after the fact Alada.

Yes it evoked feelings, but it also evoked a ton of discussion, so I would say that it was necessary. Plus it helped me to firm up my resolve to raise that bar ever higher.

thanks for your insight BS

Dr. Harley recommends it all the time on the radio show. Even in His Needs Her Needs he has a chapter on how to survive an Affair and how devastating an affair is.

Your husband needs to be educated on how to avoid affairs and how to live with boundaries and EPs.

I was looking at used copies of SAA, but they don't seem to be the last edition. Are there substantial changes in the new edition?

Just ordered SAA right now!

Good and yes the new revision has some changes, so I'm glad you bought the new one.

How's it going Alada?

Happy bday Brainy!!!

We are still waiting for SAA, hopefully tomorrow we can stop by my sisters and see if it's there.

H has been baking and selling in places where there's only men. Of course that's not a lot, so I think we are going to start looking for another job more persistently. We've been looking at warehouses and places like so, but nothing yet.

He's been also reading articles here at MB.

I've been dealing with health issues and even when we are getting our UA time, is hard to go outside. It definitely makes a difference. Do you have any suggestions to do something fun at home??

thanks for checking on me

Good morning, today I will use the google translator to test how it works . My husband is not convinced of the translations , so that has been used when the forum is not very good, and decided to use it today .

�Yesterday was Easter , my husband decided to talk to her mom . If you remember your sister is a lover, with two children , and decided not to talk more . Since December has almost not going home. Yesterday, my husband insisted I would speak to him , I felt guilty for being Easter and for not having visited. Well the call was not good.
�Basically you claim because her mother was not going to visit. I had him kidnapped. My husband and I explain that reminded him we were not going , but she said she was still taking the mother, and that ought to visit . Anyway , changing the subject and finally talked about other things. But now my husband feels bad and guilty for what his mom said . Understand that we can not go, I talked last night, but can not shake that feeling.
�My mother wants to talk to me , I guess I do not have to tell me because kidnap , and my husband still has a responsibility to his mom .

I do not think that the translator works very well , I'll have to re- write it in English

Thanks for bearing with me, before I do write the story in english, tell me what do you think? I feel it the translation really messed up the idea, but let me know if you kind of get it.

This is the re written story

Being easter, I had H call his mom. I felt guilty because it was easter and we didn't visit her. We have not being at her place since december.
Just a quick note, her sister is a misstress with two boys of a married man. We are NC with them.
The call didn't go well.

Her mom basically asked him if he was kidnapped by me (lol). Asked him whyy he hasn't visited her, had you forgotten you have a mother! Your wife shouldn't put conditions to you. Your mom is sick, you should tend to her. And so on...

H managed to change to subject. But when he hung up, he felt bad. He was mad and sad for his mom and his W-sister.

I don't know how to help him with this. MIL said she wanted to talk to me, so I can give up on the kidnapping. I can only imagine what the talk will go like. Not a good idea.

They have come to our place before, in fact a few weeks ago they were here. But I don't know is a good idea anymore.

I know many of you have NC with their toxic family, would this be our next step here?

Many of us have had to go NC with unhealthy relatives, especially wayward relatives.

I would POJA this with your H. Does his mom know why you don't talk with his sister?

Is it his mom that you don't want to talk to because she makes him feel guilty? Has he straight up told his mom that you are HIS family now?

Yes, she knows. I told her we are not going becuase of her sister. But she doesn't think we have the right reasons for not going.



No he hasn't and I hihgly doubt he would be entusiastic about telling her that. MIL is a widow, diabetic and the two sisters that live with her do not get along very well. Is a highly disfunctional family. H feels he needs to help her, HE thinks she is his responsability.

Hi guys, i need some help with ideas for ua time.
I'm on bed rest I had a miscarriage. I'm finding hard to have quality time. No RC, no SF nor physycal attractivenes which are my H ENs.
Any ideas??

I'm so sorry.
I hope you recovery and feel better soon

Since you are stuck in the bed, how about reading a book or finding a good website on a subject that he is really interested in but you don't know as much about. Then engage him in questions / conversation about it. He might become very talkative! Just an idea.

UA time while in bed?
Do either of you play board games or card games?

Alada, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news.

Dr Harley wouldn't expect a spouse who is ill to be able to meet ENs, and he wouldn't consider being physically unable to do so neglectful. He would expect the healthy spouse to care for the ill spouse and forego the meeting of his ENs for the time being. The healthy spouse needs to keep his boundaries high and guard against an affair.

He has written about spouses who become disabled or mentally infirm. He expects them to be cared for. In sickness and in health, and all that.

So sorry, Alada! Your husband needs to take great care of you while you are bedridden.
That is the answer. You don't need to worry about him.