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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
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Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
If things aren't going smoothly in A land, I can only hope her seeing these sweet memory invoking texts every once in awhile will start to push through the fog a little bit. Good thinking 
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 513
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OP
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 513 |
Just an update. NC with WS since Friday. She still hasn't transferred money into my account like she said she would so I'm going to text her tomorrow about it.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Ya.. I'm okay. I just made a decision yesterday I know you guys would disagree with me on after meeting with my lawyer, hence my silence. I can't afford two lawsuits. I can't afford to make this divorce super expensive AND file a lawsuit against OM. I feel like filing a lawsuit against OM is my BEST CHANCE to end their affair. Right *now* my wife is willing to walk away from the marriage and not take a single dime from me. Tactically, I need to take advantage of that current mind-set that she has. There are no laws that say we can't get re-married in the future. My lawyer has taken the papers she has given me, and he's going to re-draw them up with some stipulations, as he didn't like some of the wording.
After the D-papers are signed and processed, we are then going to sue OM. At that point my wife will not have any legal power over me, so I won't give two sh**** about her getting mad about me suing him.
I
Tactical reasons aside, I feel I need to start protecting myself from this madness. I know compared to some of you, my 2 months experience doesn't seem like much, but I just feel done. If I had kids, or I was older, I would have pushed this much much further.
I am drafting up a final good-bye letter to my wife. A lot of its content have been plagiarized from Mr.W's novel a few pages back, heh. I will post it when it is done. I am not going to send her the letter until the Divorce is final. Until then, I will still plan-A her as best I can. I will be very nice to her, plant little seeds, etc. Maybe even send her flowers one more time.
Who knows? Maybe between now and then the letters I sent to her business will have an effect. Maybe the affair will crumble? Probably not, but who knows.
I wish I could be there to see the look on OM's face when WS tells him she is officially divorced, while simultaneously opening a letter telling him he's being sued for alienation of affection. I think this is a good decision. When people are in affairs you can often get very favorable divorce terms from them so they can "be freed of their marriage and be with the love of their life" Divorce is the natural consequence of adultery
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,311
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 513
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Joined: May 2013
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Hey guys, it's been over a year since I posted here, but I just wanted to give you guys an update, and to THANK ALL OF YOU FOR HELPING ME GET THROUGH THAT EXTREMELY HARD TIME.
The divorce went through late last year, and I'm mostly okay now. I have a new girlfriend, and am very happy with her. Strangely, the most painful part that remains are my shattered friendships. 'Friends' who have chosen to support my ex's messed up decisions. I keep feeling compelled to contact them, even though I know I shouldn't bother.
Anyways, I just wanted to check in and let you guys know that things are going mostly well, and I'm mostly recovered! Thanks again!
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
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Your plan was to sue the OM after the divorce. Did you pursue that?
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 513
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 513 |
Your plan was to sue the OM after the divorce. Did you pursue that? No. I haven't really thought about that for awhile. I'm not really sure if it would be worth doing at this point. Would there be a benefit? Also, something strange. For awhile, it seemed like WS was texting me every month or so for very insignificant reasons... (Utility in her name, she needs information on her car, etc). It almost felt like she was just trying to find reasons to text me. I thought it stopped back in march, but she just recently started texting me again last week for another insignificant reason. It's VERY annoying, because when I see her name pop up on my phone, it's quite painful. This time I just completely ignored her 100%. She tried e-mailing me to ask if I was getting her texts.. I just kept ignoring. Anyways, I don't know what it means, but I wish she's stop. She is still with OM as far as I know.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
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It's VERY annoying, because when I see her name pop up on my phone, it's quite painful. This is what Plan B is for. Since you have no children together, why don't you change all of your contact information so she cannot contact you anymore? Are you leaving the door open to reconciling with her at some point?
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
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Did you ever send her a Plan B Letter?
Also, have you considered getting an IM to avoid the unnecessary pointless and painful contact triggers?
You may want to consider changing your contact information, especially your cell phone number and e-mail address.
Your IM could be the one to point her focus back to the contents of your Plan B Letter.
LTL
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Joined: Nov 2012
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Did you ever send her a Plan B Letter?
Also, have you considered getting an IM to avoid the unnecessary pointless and painful contact triggers?
You may want to consider changing your contact information, especially your cell phone number and e-mail address.
Your IM could be the one to point her focus back to the contents of your Plan B Letter.
LTL But only if he wants to get back with her at some point in the future. They have no children, so no real need to communicate.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391 |
Did you ever send her a Plan B Letter?
Also, have you considered getting an IM to avoid the unnecessary pointless and painful contact triggers?
You may want to consider changing your contact information, especially your cell phone number and e-mail address.
Your IM could be the one to point her focus back to the contents of your Plan B Letter.
LTL especially But only if he wants to get back with her at some point in the future. They have no children, so no real need to communicate. Yet, by having an IM, he would avoid any insignificant but Painful contact triggers. She is currently testing to see if any Cake is still accessible through him. LTL
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Joined: Jun 2013
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Remember, he is the one who pointed out how painful it was just to even see her name pop up on the phone contact texts and e-mail.
LTL
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
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I think we are saying the same thing. If it were me though, I'd just cut her out completely. No IM, no nothing. This guy is 28, has no children with his XW, and has a new girlfriend.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 513
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OP
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 513 |
At this point I have absolutely no desire to ever get back together with her. The stars would have to align (or move into extreme misalignment, lol) for that to happen. I'm very happy with my current girlfriend, and I hope this relationship lasts.
As far as the plan B letter, the last time I spoke to her face to face, I basically told her that if we get divorced that I'll never see or speak to her again in order to protect myself. But I never actually sent her the templated letter, no.
I don't think I need an IM, because I have absolutely NO reason to communicate with her, unless there is some sort of emergency. I haven't blocked her phone #, or my e-mail for that very reason (in case of emergency). I guess I could just send her a text saying to never contact me unless it's an emergency.
Me: BH, 28
WW, 26
Married September 2005
D-Day: April 7, 2013
A started in February, 2013, and is ongoing
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Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,093
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Strangely, the most painful part that remains are my shattered friendships. 'Friends' who have chosen to support my ex's messed up decisions. I keep feeling compelled to contact them, even though I know I shouldn't bother. Drop the "friends" too. They aren't friends. I can't imagine what would be an emergency that you would need to be involved with. You're not responsible for her anymore. If you get into a serious relationship in the future, you're going to have to go no contact with your XW anyway. Do it now and save yourself the pain. Just change your contact info and don't have anything to do with her or these "friends" again. No need to warn anybody or text her telling her what you are going to do.
Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur
DS(11)
DD(7)
Married: June 24, 2000
Recovered
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